Life Lost, Love Gained
by spiftyone
Summary: All Human!-Tattered and scorned, Bella flees from her troubled home and starts fresh with her father, Charlie. Will she get the life she so desperately hopes for? And what happens when her last chance for happiness is ruined? -Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Odd

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 1: Odd

**A/N: Okay, so this is my first fanfic! YAY! Haha, okay so enough of my randomness. I have a lot of faith in this story so please review. I need constructive criticism!**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight. sad face**

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I woke with a start Monday morning. I had just had the strangest of all my nightmares, and that is saying something. In the dream, I was walking along the edge of a cake while trying to find my lost cat. Odd, I know. But that's how things usually are for me. And if it isn't odd, its bad. I am probably the most clumsy person on the face of the earth. Seriously, I could trip over air. And have done so on many occasions. But that's just me. Plain old uncoordinated and odd Bella Swan. I don't mind too much though. I keep to myself and try not to draw any attention to myself for any reason. And I succeed.

I live here in Phoenix, Arizona with my mother, Renee. Although, I use the term mother very loosely. I have been more of the adult, caring for her ever since I could remember. She was always the hairbrained one in our odd mother-daughter relationship. Always in and out of relationships, trends, classes. You name it, she has probably done it. I don't resent her for making me grow up so fast, though. In a way I guess it was good for me. If I hadn't, we wouldn't have survived.

So, here I lay, in my small bed at 6:30 in the morning, and wide awake. With a groan, I swept the covers off of myself and sat upright at the edge of my bed. "Why must the morning be so early?" I was pretty much used to this routine by now, though. Go to sleep early, have a weird dream, wake up exhausted, talk to myself for a minute, and get out of bed. I liked familiarity.

So, with not-so-much effort, I got up and went directly to the bathroom to start my day by getting into a nice, hot shower. I instantly relaxed into the hot water. I was so tense lately, I didn't even pay attention to the knots in my back.

After I finished my shower and completed brushing my hair and teeth, I went back into my room to change for school. I picked a simple pair of cargo shorts and a black fitted T-Shirt. I laughed at my reflection. I looked like I was about to go to boot camp or something. I tore my gaze away from the mirror and left my room, skipping down the stairs. I'm not usually in such a good mood in the mornings, but I had a feeling that today was going to be okay.

After I spent about fifteen minutes debating over different types of cereal, I finally chose Lucky Charms. Very childish, I know. But they're good, so I don't care.

I finished my breakfast in silence, as usual. Renee was asleep, most likely with 'company', and she never joined me anyway. She never said much to me, only acknowledging my existence. She had been acting that way since I started school two months ago. It was weird. But, my guess was it had something to do with her newest man of the month, Phil. He seemed nice enough, but I sensed that he wasn't as innocent as he seemed. He always had this look on his face, like he was trying very hard not to punch something. When I told Renee about this, her reaction scared me.

Flashback

"I don't think you should be seeing that guy, mom. He just doesn't seem...right to me. Violent. I'm worried about you." We were sitting on the couch in the living room while Phil slept in Renee's room. 'Tired from Work' , he said. She looked at me, incredulously, like I had just told her I was a mass murderer.

"Do not talk like that. Phil is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I will not listen to your nonsense." She shook her head fiercely.

"But, mom...he's--" She interrupted me with a slap to the face. I lifted my hand to where she had stricken me and felt the tears run down my cheek.

"I warned you. Now leave." I quickly ran up the stairs, only tripping once, and went straight to my room and cried myself to sleep.

End Flashback

Since that night, the abuse only got worse, and I soon found out that torturing me was practically a bonding experience to Phil and Renee.

I tried to avoid them at any cost at first, but that would only make it worse. They would find any reason to hit me, and for no reason. It could have been as simple as being home late from work or school, or not having dinner ready when they wanted it. So, I learned to just blend into the shadows.

I shook my head clear of the thoughts and cleaned my bowl. Then, I gathered up my school bag and started to walk to school. I didn't have a car yet, but within the next month, I would have enough money saved to get a decent used car. I just hoped I would last that long.

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**Hope you all liked it!**

**Hopefully, I get to update tomorrow.**

**Till then!**

**-spiftyone  
**


	2. Chapter 2: Misunderstanding

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 2: Misunderstanding

**A/N: Okies, this is the second chapter! WOOT! So yeah. Sorry if I don't update frequently. School is only in its 3rd week so we are getting swamped with a whole bunch of stuff. Haha. Anywho, I hope you like it!**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight. **

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School is, to say the least, uneventful.

Since I have a lot of free time between actual school hours and work, I get my homework and projects done early. So basically, I am bored still during class because I already understand everything. Gah! So here I am, in the last period of the day (the worst, in my opinion) which is gym. Being the most uncoordinated person ever, I don't have much luck in this particular class. In fact, I have been sent to the E.R. so much that I know all the nurses by name, if not their whole life story. But for some reason, today seemed like it was going to be especially horrid.

"Okay, class. Get quiet and listen." Coach Clapp is very...exuberant about athletics. So when he talks about the sports we are doing, it comes off as more like a girl talking about prom. "Today we are going to start flag football!" Oh, god. Did he want everyone to have major injuries because of me? "Also, this will the first day you are required to change out into gym uniforms, so get to it! You have 10 minutes, and after that I will explain the rules." We all got up at the same time and started walking towards the locker rooms. Much to my surprise, though, there weren't many complaints about the change. Maybe it was only me because I had bruises to hide...

Oh.

The moment I thought that was the moment I started to freak out. What am I going to do about my bruises? Maybe they wont show. Yeah, they wont.

I just kept telling myself that as I changed into the required clothing.

"Oh my god! Bella, are you okay?" Abby, the only decent person around here, _would_ be the one to notice that. It's the biggest bruise I have and its unfortunately the most visible. It is on my left side and is about the size of two oranges.

"Yeah, I just trip a lot. You've seen me in class, right?" I don't know why I even try to lie. I'm horrible at it. But she seemed to buy my excuse anyway.

"Oh, yeah. Maybe today you should just be a cheerleader." She laughed all the way to the door. Well, there goes the one decent person.

"Swan! Pick up the pace!" Running in grass may sound easier than running on a flat, dry surface to some people, but I am _definitely_ not one of them. In the hour we have been out here, I have tripped 16 times, and have been told to 'pick up the pace' 7 times. All I really wanted to do was collapse and take a very long nap. Right as I said that, Coach Clapp blew the releasing whistle.

"Finally!" I said to myself. I got up and made a mad dash to the locker rooms so I could leave the school as fast as I could.

After I dressed, I went to my car and made my way to work. I'm a cashier at the local Thriftway. It isn't the best of jobs, but it pays and that's all I need. So as I pulled into the parking lot, I pulled on my apron and smile and went to work.

"Thank you for choosing Thriftway! Come again soon!" The fake smile I wearing was staring to hurt. I looked up at the clock. 8:30. Good, I only have 2 more hours.

"Hey, Bella. Hows your night going?" Sophie is the nicest person I have ever met. She brightens up my monotonous days. I smiled.

"Okay. Only got 2 more hours so I am hanging in there. Yours?"

"About to leave. I am getting off early so I can take my son to his father's." She grimaced at that. Her and her ex-husband don't exactly get along. The divorced after her son, Andie, was born. She told me he said he wasn't cut out to be a father. The he just left a 21 year old single mother on her own. But five years later, he comes back and demands to see his son. Pathetic. In my opinion, he just didn't want to do the work.

"Good luck. How is Andie doing? He is almost seven now, right?" I knew almost every employee's personal history so I kept up to date with their current events. I guess it makes me seem like I have more of a life than I actually do. I don't know.

"You remembered!" I laughed and nodded.

"Of course. Are you throwing a party for him? If so, I can help out if you need it." I smiled. I was really only looking for a way to stay away form home as long possible.

"Oh, yeah! I need a lot of help. It is going to be this Saturday, if you aren't busy...?" She looked like she really _did_ need the help. I silently started counting my blessings.

"Nope. I'm all yours. What do you need me to do?" There wasn't really anyone at the store today so we just stood and chatted behind our designated counters. Ours are right next to each other.

"I really only need help with invitations, decorations, and helping to pick out a present. Oh, are you still up babysitting Wednesday?" I watched Andie Wednesdays for free, seeing as how she has just about as much money as I do. Plus, she just started seeing someone. It has been going on for almost six months so she is really excited.

"Yeah, no problem. At 7:30, right?" She smiled widely.

"Yep. Well I need to get going. Have a good rest of the night!"

"Bye!" I waved as she walked out of the store. "Okay...so an hour and a half left. No one here. What to do..." I thought for a moment. I guess it was as good a time as any to start on my homework, so I picked up my Calculus book and started the torture.

"Bye everyone!" I called over my shoulder as I left the store. Time really flew by and I even got a lot of work done. The only part of my day that would bring me down was going home. I tried to keep up my good mood, though, as I made my way down my street and into the driveway.

"I'm home!" I called out, but got no reply. I just shrugged it off and went up to my room.

I was on the last stair when I heard squeals of joy come from Renee's room. That was usually my que to lock myself in my room for the rest of the night, but right as I was pulling my door open, Renee ran out and looked around quickly, looking for me.

"Oh, Bella! He proposed! We are getting married!" She thrust her left hand in front of my face so I could see the ring. I have to admit, it was a nice ring. It looked expensive, to. "I am so happy!"

"That's great mom." I tried to sound enthusiastic, but on the inside, I was screaming from fear.

"Oh, I know right? We are tying the knot in less than two months so we have so much work to do! Oh! We have to find a place, and get a cake, and not to mention the dress! This is so amazing..." She rambled on like that for an immeasurable amount of time while I just nodded in what I hoped were appropriate places.

After her little escapade, I went straight to my room and collapsed on my bed. The last thing I remembered was the stream of tears falling down my cheeks as I drifted off into a fitful sleep.

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**Another chapter done! **

**So, what do you think? I love reviews!**

**Sorry this was so short, but I am immediately starting on the third chapter.**

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	3. Chapter 3: UpsideDown

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 3: Upside-Down

**A/N: Okay, so this is the third chapter. I am really gonna start getting into more intense chapters after this one so I would prepare myself if I were you, which I'm not, but still...**

**ANYWAY!!**

**Thank goodness its Friday! Right? **_**Right**_

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight. **

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The next three weeks passed by without incident. And when I say 'without incident', I mean that in every literal sense. I hadn't been hit in that whole time and I was practically bursting with glee.

I had even agreed to help Renee with her impromptu wedding plans. We have gotten a lot done already, much to my surprise. Mostly basic things, like the cake, location, invitations, and so on and so fourth, were done in the first week. This made me worry though. It seemed like everything was being turned upside-down and I was still beginning to grasp it all.

I still kept up my schedule at school, work, babysitting and all that jazz, but something seemed...off. Like something big was about to happen, and I didn't have any clue as to what it could be. I mostly shook it off, seeing as how Renee was getting married and that was probably the 'big thing' happening.

Whatever.

I don't care what happens, as long as I am getting through the rest of the year without going to the hospital.

"Bella, could you come down here for a moment? We need to discuss some things." I perked up from my depressing thoughts and sprinted down the stairs. Oddly enough, I didn't trip. I smiled at my accomplishment.

"Yeah, mom?" I plopped down next to her while she looked through some papers, most likely having something to do with the wedding.

"I just wanted to tell you that after we get back from the honeymoon I am going to a state convention for educators." Renee teaches kinder garden. I never understood why, though. She hates little kids. But one day, when I went to bring her money she forgot, she was in the middle of a class, and she looked right at home.

"Okay. How long will you be gone?" I shifted uncomfortably, awaiting her answer. The longer she was away meant the longer I would be with Phil. Alone.

"A week. Don't worry, Phil will be here so you wont have to be alone." That's what I'm afraid of.

"O-okay. Is that all?"

"Yeah. You can go back to whatever you were doing." With that, I jumped from the couch and sprang up the stairs to my room. To my haven.

"Bye everyone!" I walked out of the Thriftway and got into my newly purchased used car. (Oxymoron, much? Ha!) I was able persuade the salesman to let me buy the old, beat up truck for a hundred dollars less than the intended price.

To say I was excited was a mass understatement. I had a smile plastered to my face the whole day.

What was only a day felt like a week with my new found 'independence', and throughout the day, I caught myself singing or whistling show tunes. I got a few worried glances from Abby the whole work day, and even more from Renee, oddly enough.

When I walked through the door, the first thing I saw was Renee sitting on the couch with a pensive look on her face. When she realized I had shut the door, she turned and smiled.

"How was work, honey?" Her smile scared me. It was _to_ sweet. Sickly sweet. Something was up.

"It was good. Pretty slow, but okay. How was your day? Get much planning done?" I tried to make my voice sound interested in what she had to say, but I couldn't help the nagging feeling that she knew something I didn't.

"Yeah, I got a lot done today. In fact, everything is done and set for the wedding so we can all relax now." She finally looked back up and me. Smiling that sickly sweet smile. "We are going out tonight to celebrate so you will have to find something to eat for yourself." I hid my disappointment well. She never suspected anything. I suppose the saying 'ignorance is bliss' is really true. I would have to try it sometime...

Time flew by at an annoyingly fast pace. Before I could even blink, the wedding was tomorrow. Renee was running around like a crazy woman these past couple weeks trying to put finishing touches on everything. I didn't pay her any mind. All I had to was stand there for a half an hour until they said I do. Then I could run out to the reception where I could inconspicuously ignore them. It wouldn't be to bad a day.

I turned to look at my alarm clock. it read 11:36. After a long and dramatic sigh, I climbed into bed and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

When I woke up, the first thing I saw was Renee putting my bride's maid dress on my desk chair. She was already in her robe, showered and ready to be made over. I noticed she had her hair in rollers for the first time ever. I tried to contain my laughter, but unsurprisingly, Renee noticed me stir and turned to me with a huge smile on her face.

"Well its about time you woke up, sleepyhead!" I looked at the clock. It was almost noon. I jumped at my realization that the wedding was only in two hours and I hadn't even showered.

"Why didn't anyone wake me up?" I was already walking towards the door and stripping down at the same time so I could jump in the shower. I head Renee on my trail, but simply continued my trek to the bathroom.

"Well sweetie," She was sitting on the toilet now and I was washing my hair. "I didn't wake to. You looked so peaceful. Anyway, I have everything under control so it is alright. No need to freak out, honey." That shocked me. She never sounds that motherly. Now I _know_ something is up.

I stepped out of the shower and pulled my fluffy blue towel around me, scrubbing myself dry. "Do you need any help, dear?" I was hastily walking to my room, trying to remember where I put my strapless bra, when I felt two hands on my shoulders. "What are you looking for?"

"My strapless bra. I could have sworn it was right there..." I started to move but Renee ushered me to my bed and told me to relax.

"Don't worry, Bella. Everything will be fine." I nodded while she went to my closet. I calmed some what at her words, but I could hear some kind of underlying tone in it, like pity or regret. I shoved that thought to the back of my mind as I changed into the lavender, floor length dress with spaghetti straps. It really was gorgeous. I was a little skeptical at first, but then when I tried it on, it just...fit. The only thing I was worried about was the shoes I had to wear. The silver platforms with a diamond encrusted buckle looked like nothing but a death trap to me. I was bound to fall a few times tonight.

"You look stunning Bella! The guys will be swooning." I looked in the mirror and gasped. This was not me. I'm the plain one, the ordinary one. This girl in the mirror looked _beautiful_. I shook my head to rid myself of my cynical thoughts.

"I don't look nearly as beautiful as you do, mom." Renee's wedding dress was very elegant, which surprised me at first. But, like my case, when she put it on, we just knew it was made for her. The pleated Charmeuse A-Line gown with an empire waist and v-halter fit her personality perfectly. She had said to me that she didn't want anything extraordinary because she has already been down this road before. But she did want something simple, yet unusual and pretty. **(A/N: All outfits on my profile!)**

"Thank you honey. Can you get the flower thingy?" Instead of getting a veil, she had a sort of crown of white daisys' made for her. It just made her look even more angelic in all white. Then I thought of something, making me laugh. Renee just looked at me with a confused expression. "What?"

"Its just...don't you think its a little weird wearing white with your _daughter_ right next to you?" She looked at me for a second, then burst out laughing. I soon joined her, feeling somewhat odd with our bonding. We haven't acted like this for a while.

"I suppose. But hey, it looks good and that's all that matters. Oh! We don't have much time. Come on, lets get going." We both grabbed out death trap heals and ran out the door, Renee being extra careful not to get her dress dirty.

We got to the chapel in record time, due to my haste and crazy driving, having a half an hour left to spare. Renee was calm throughout all of this, which was making me uneasy. She isn't calm for anything. Ever. Why was she so mellow now?

"Don't worry. Everything will turn out fine." After she said that, she walked to where she was supposed to be, but I couldn't move. The tone in her voice sounded like a goodbye. I didn't know what to make of it, so I just shook my head, once again, to get rid of the thoughts.

"Okay, here we go." And with that, the ceremony began and ended all in a blur. Before I knew it, we were at the reception and everyone was dancing. I was just sitting at one of the tables in a daze. I didn't even realize someone was talking to me until I felt a warm hand on my forehead.

"Miss? Are you okay? Can you speak?" I regained my composure and shook my head. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.

"I'm fine." I looked up at him and felt my eyes widen. The man in front wasn't anyone I knew, but he was certainly the most beautiful person I had ever seen. I don't normally call men beautiful, but that was the only word I could think of to describe him.

He looked no older than maybe his late twenties. His blond hair and blue eyes made him look even younger, but what was in his eyes made him seem wise beyond his years.

When I looked into his eyes, all I saw was knowledge, compassion, and determination. I smiled, then spoke.

"I'm fine, thank you. I don't think we have met, but I might have seen your name when I was making the guest list. Who's side are you here for?" He looked relieved as he took a seat next to me.

"I was Phil's doctor when he lived in Washington. I'm Carlisle Cullen. I assume you are Isabella?" He held out his hand for me to shake, which I took immediately.

"Yes. But please, call me Bella. And, not to sound to weird or anything but...well...you know what? I'm a teenager so I am supposed to be weird. So here goes. You look _way_ too young to be a doctor. I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old are you?" He chuckled at my babbling, to which, of course, I blushed beet red.

"I actually get that a lot so, no, I don't mind. I am twenty nine." He smiled widely at me, calming me immediately. I felt immensely safe and calm around him. He sort of felt like a father figure to me, and I hardly knew him. I smiled back at him and continued.

"Well that isn't to bad. And I think I do remember seeing your name on the guest list. Is your wife here as well?" As if she could hear our conversation, a beautiful woman with caramel colored hair and warm light brown eyes walked up behind Carlisle and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Hello. You must be Bella. I'm Esme, Carlisle's wife." I stood to shake her hand, but she just pulled me into a warm hug instead. I stood still for a moment, in shock, before hugging her back.

"I am. Its nice to meet you. Both of you." I sat back down in my seat while Esme took a seat next to Carlisle. After a few more pleasantries, we got into a light conversation about nothing in particular that carried out through the rest of the reception. I hadn't realized we had been talking and laughing for hours until Esme's phone rang.

"Hello?" She still had her beautiful smile on, practically lighting the whole room. I took the interruption as a chance to find out the time.

"Carlisle? Do you have the time?" He smiled and nodded before lifting the sleeve of his tux to reveal his watch.

"It's nearly midnight. And about time for us to go." We both stood.

"Yeah, me to. Well, actually time for to change into normal clothes so I can help clean up. And get out of these shoes." I kicked off the shoes and took a sigh of relief. "Thank god. Those things should be illegal." I scowled at the stupid things while Esme and Carlisle laughed. When I looked up, I finally noticed how exquisitely they were both dressed. Carlisle had on a classic black tux with an almost lavender looking handkerchief sticking out of his pocket. It looked like it matched the color of Esme's floor length jersey halter type Rachel Pally dress. They looked like a Hollywood couple. Perfect in every way and just made for each other.

"You aren't really going to clean after this long evening, are you?" Esme asked. She looked sincerely concerned. I smiled.

"Yeah. It's kind of my job. I work with the catering people for weddings but, as you can see, I attended this one, so I am going to help with the cleaning." I shrugged it off like it it was nothing. And in actuality, it really wasn't. I didn't do much because obviously people didn't get married everyday. But there was a fair share of occasions to work, so I was kept relatively busy when there was something to work.

"But didnt you say you have a part time job at the Thriftway already? You are going to work yourself to death!" I had to chuckle at Esme's maternal concerns. She looked so worried for me when I was clearly going to be okay.

"I am going to slow down, I promise Esme. I really only wanted to save enough money for a car, which I got. Now I am going to keep my focus on school so there is no need to worry about me." I gave her a small hug and turned to Carlisle. I wasn't sure what to do with him. It seemed appropriate to hug him, but I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

As if he could read my thoughts, he pulled me into a hug, answering my unasked questions.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"Anytime. And if you ever need anything don't hesitate to call." I nodded, smiling. They were treating me better than I had ever been treated. And they barely knew me!

After they left, I went to my car to change into more comfortable clothes so I could move around more while I cleaned.

That night, or should I say morning, I fell into a long, peaceful sleep. And for once, I didn't worry about what awaited me when I awoke.

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**Another chapter done! **

**And how many of you expected Carlisle and Esme to be in this chapter? Hmm? Hmm??**

**So, what do you think? review!**

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	4. Chapter 4: Catastrophe

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 4: Catastrophe

**A/N: Okay, so this is the fourth chapter. This shall be the start of the reason why it is rated M. So PREPARE YOURSELVES!**

**Haha no need to be that dramatic about it. But if you are offended by any of the following material, you should turn away immediately.**

**Mmmkay?**

**Good.**

**And I am sooooo sorry for the delay in updating. I have so much going on, but I am gonna work hard for the next few months to get updates at least every week.**

**Sooo....**

**Here it is!**

**[WARNING!: This chapter contains profanity, mention of rape, and other usually-teenaged-melodramatic-related things]**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight, however, I do own a rock named Jaws!**

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The days seemed to rush by all together into one big blur.

Renee and Phil had been back from Cancun for a few days and tomorrow Renee was leaving. This had me up for hours, just worrying about what was to come. But, somehow, I managed t get a couple hours of sleep before Renee woke me up to say goodbye.

"I will be gone for a week so you will need to cook for yourself. Lord knows Phil cant." That irked me. I have been cooking for myself practically all my life and she was just broaching that subject_ now_? "And I am leaving some money for groceries so be sparing with it. Well, I'm off! Bye!" With that she left my room, totally oblivious.

I took my time getting ready for the day, happy to avoid Phil at any cost.

I was actually glad for school today, even though it's only a Friday, I still get to be out of the house. And after that I get to be at work, so it should be a good day.

But, despite all of the upsides, I still had a weird feeling. Like something really bad was going to happen sometime. I quickly shook the thought and returned to my getting-ready process.

When I finished school, I ran to my truck, excited for work for a change. I usually work overtime on Fridays so I could avoid _him_ even longer. The only thing I was worried about now was coming home. But hopefully I would get back late enough for him to be asleep. If I weren't, I suppose I could climb the window...

"Hey? Earth to Bella! Are you alright?" I could hear Sophie next to me, trying to break me out of my reverie. It worked.

"Sorry. I just spaced out for a second. What's up?" I felt a smile beginning to form on my face. She just looked lost, but shook her head and continued.

"Boss man wants to see you." She smiled and patted my shoulder before leaving, muttering a quick, 'good luck'.

"Great. Just what I needed." I put on my fake smile and headed towards the back to see Mr. Hanset. When I got to his door, I raised my hand to knock but he spoke before I could connect my fist to the door.

"Come in, Swan." He sounded angry, as usual. That was a good sign. It means the news isn't something drastic.

"Yes, sir." I opened the door and walked forward, taking a seat in the chair furthest from him.

"I only wanted to tell you that we have Arron here tonight so you can go home. We are actually...over employed, tonight." My face fell immediately at his words.

"Wh-what? Cant I just stay for overtime? I-I mean...umm...what?" He looked up from his paperwork to eye me curiously.

"No, that's alright. See you tomorrow, Swan." I took that as my dismissal and left, hopes diminished.

When I got to my car, I just sat there, thinking. What can I do for a few hours? I really didn't feel like going home, where Phil was sure to be. And I finished all of my homework, and next week's homework, in school, so there really isn't a choice.

With that in mind, I started my car and drove as slow as possible back home.

When I reached the driveway, I sighed in relief at the empty space where Phil's truck usually was and walked inside the house with a renewed smile on. Not a minute after I closed and locked the door, the phone rang, making me jump a foot off the ground. Once I regained my composure, I ran into the kitchen and answered it, breathlessly.

"Hello?" I heard a light, musical chuckle on the other end, giving away who was on the other side. "Oh, hello Carlisle! It's nice to hear from you so soon. Is there something I can do for you?"

"Hello Bella. Lovely hearing from you as well. I was actually calling in regard to something Phil asked me at the wedding. It took me some time, but I finally found the answer. Could you write this down, dear?"

"No problem. One second." I looked around for some paper and a pen, but found nothing. I thanked my ability to think ahead by getting a cordless phone for times like these. I had to search for a minute and go through almost all of the drawers, but I finally found a notepad and a pen. "Okay, shoot."

"Just tell him that the fastest way, as of injection, for rendering someone unconscious is morphine. But you have to order it specially at a drug store, you cant just walk in and ask for it over the counter. I have to say that is the oddest thing anyone has asked me to find out, but it _is_ Phil." He laughed at that, and for the first time since I have heard him laugh, it didn't make me feel any better. I felt a rush of cold run through my body, causing me to shiver. I could only imagine what Phil would use the morphine for, and that make me want to hide under a rock. I remember a conversation we had once, when Renee was at work. Phil had come home early and was drunk to an extreme...

Flashback

_"What are you doing home?" The tone of his voice made me gasp aloud. He sounded so angry, but I couldn't find any reason why._

_"W-what do you mean? Its Saturday..." Big mistake. I should have learned by now not to talk back to Phil._

_"Why you little...how DARE you back talk me!" I tried to shrink back before his hand collided with my face, but I was too late. I cried out in pain, but that only seemed to make him angrier. "One of these days, I will show you what you have had coming to you."_

_That one sentence gave me nightmares for weeks, making me wonder what I 'had coming to me'._

End Flashback

I was shaken out of my reverie by the sound of Carlisle's frantic voice.

"Hello? Bella? Are you okay?" I could hear the sound of Esme's worried voice on the other end as well, making my heart swell at their kindness.

"I'm fine, just spaced out for a minute. Sorry. And please tell Esme there is no need to worry. I think I can _feel_ her sad expression right now." I let out a laugh to reassure him, but on the inside I was freaking out. How could save myself?

"Okay, Bella. I can as well, but she is right next to me. But, she does have a tendency to overreact." I smiled genuinely at that. She seemed like the caring type from the very beginning.

"I figured. Er...It was great catching up with you Carlisle, but I have to go. Homework is calling my name. Tell Esme I say hi and don't freak out." I felt horrible for lying to Carlise, but I had life and death issues at hand.

"Same here, Bella. If you ever want to talk we are here for you. Goodbye."

"Bye." It kinda creeped me out how he knew to say that to me, but I pushed that thought out of my mind and went to work on the task at hand: getting away from Phil. Permanently. So, I did the first thing I could think of and called the school.

"Hello, this is Alyssa at Horizon View High School, how may I help you?" I took a deep breath and tried to hold myself together long enough to make my lie believable.

"Hello, this is Isabella Swan. I need to find out the procedures for a transfer. I am moving soon." I almost dropped the phone when I said those words, mostly because I never took the time to think of where I was even going to _go._ I hoped she didn't catch onto my hesitation.

"Okay. There is a lot of paperwork to do, so you would have to either come in early tomorrow or Monday morning."

"Tomorrow is fine for me. Just name the time." I took the pen and pad of paper I had used not ten minutes ago to write down the information she would give.

"Is 8:00 okay?"

"Yes, that's fine." I was writing so fast, my tiny scrawl was barely legible.

"Great. See you then."

"Bye." I heard the dial tone only a few seconds after I spoke. She must be in a hurry to get out of there.

I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Now, the only other things left to do were one, figure out where i even wanted to go, and two, figure out if I could really do this.

But I knew I could. Couldn't I?

***

Phil didn't come home, much to my benefit. I stopped waiting after three in the morning to get some rest before I had to go to the school. I couldn't have been more relieved for Phil's absence. It made what I was going to do so much easier. Also, it made it easier to think when he wasn't here.

I awoke to my alarm buzzing, signifying that the time was 7:00 a.m.. With much reluctance I pulled myself out of bed, groaning at the early hour, and went strait for the bathroom to take a nice hot shower.

Right as I stepped into the steaming water, I remembered Phil. It had been so pleasant without him, I had forgotten he still lives here. I tried not to think of that too much and went back to my shower. It was very relaxing, not having to hurry. I usually took five minute showers in fear of Phil or Renee. They liked the hot water and didn't think of sharing it when we were all here. But today I didn't have to rush, so I took my sweet time, just letting the hot water work out the tension in my muscles and clear my mind. When I was finished, I turned off the remnants of hot water and wrapped one of the soft white towels around my body, trying to dry myself off.

After I changed and ate a quick breakfast, I looked at the clock in the kitchen for the time. 7:43. I gasped and ran out of the house, mentally cursing myself for the long shower, and started up my old car so I could speed down the road to the school I would soon be leaving.

I made it there in about ten minutes, out of breath might I add, and took a seat to wait for Alyssa to be done with the paperwork she had to make up for me. As I waited, I couldn't help but ask myself if what I was doing was too extreme. Sure, Phil was a nightmare and I might end up in the hospital eventually, but Renee might miss me or be sad about me leaving...

Ha! Like that was possible. She might seem like a loving, devoted mother at first glance, and might even have to potential to be one, but she never acted like one. She always seemed to be annoyed by my presence, like I was the worst thing to ever happen to her. I never understood it. If she didn't want me around, why didn't she leave me with Charlie? Oh! Charlie...I could live with Charlie! I was just thinking of different routes to take for Washington when Alyssa called my name. And from the sound of it, she it wasn't the first time.

"Right. Sorry." She simply nodded and led me to the principal's office.

"She will be with you in a moment with the paperwork. I assume you have the other school's information? We don't need everything, basically just the name."

I nodded, even though that part of my plan was still a bit sketchy. She left the room, annoyed, and went back to the front desk. I, however, sat nervously in the chair across from the Principal's huge, black, leather chair, contemplating what I would say when she asked me about the school I was supposed to be going to. I had to think. Okay, so Charlie lives in Forks, Washington. From what I remember of the tiny town, it would be safe to assume the high school is known as Forks High School. Yes, I remembered it now. Charlie was taking me to La Push once to go fishing with his friend Billy Black. We drove by the school, but it was so small I didn't think to put it to memory. I was only about eight at the time, so I was really only thinking of ways to get out of having to fish. In my laughter at the memory, I didn't hear the door open and close.

"Hello Isabella. Nice to see you this morning. Its such a shame you're moving. You really are a lovely young lady to have here." I grimaced at my full name. "So, this really shouldn't take too long. I assume you would like to get out of here as fast as possible, what with the packing you must have to get done. So, lets get started." The one thing I remembered from my few encounters with Mrs. Layne was that she could talk. And I mean on, and on, and _on._ That was one of my main reasons for staying out of trouble.

"Yes, please. My...mother, and I have a lot to do. Unfortunately, I couldn't get that much information on Forks High, it being such a small school in an equally small town." I tried to sound professional and sincere, hoping she wouldn't see my unease.

"No problem, hon. All we need is for you to fill out some information and you will be all set!" How could she be so _peppy_ at 8:30 in the morning?

"Okay." With that, I was given about fifteen pages worth of paperwork to fill out. By the time I finished and walked out the front doors of the school, I felt like my hand would break off. But, on the upside, there were only two things left to do.

One: Call Charlie to find out if I could even go there. I felt a slight pang of unease and fear. Would he even want me after having almost no communication between us in nine years? I hoped he did or I would be left homeless. I figured I should find out soon, but it would have to wait until the other thing was accomplished.

Two: Quit my job. That had to be the hardest thing to do. I loved my job and found a sanctuary there among the few friends I had in the world. I knew it would be hard, so I decided to get it out of the way first.

I made my way to my car and drove slowly to the Thriftway for the last time.

When I walked through the doors of the Thriftway, I was immediately met with Sophie's confused gaze. I didn't even realize I was crying until She had me in a tight hug, whispering reassurances in my ear. I calmed down enough to make a coherent sentence and wiped away the remaining tears.

"Sorry, that was totally uncalled for. I don't know what got into me." I shook my head fervently, trying to block out the pain of my task ahead.

"What's wrong? And don't try that 'I'm fine' crap, you couldn't lie to save your life." She looked at me intently, awaiting my answer. So I told her that I would explain after I talked to 'boss man', and once she was on break.

* * *

**Another chapter done! **

**So, what do you think? review!**

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	5. Chapter 5: New Beginnings

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 5: New Beginnings

**A/N: Okay, so this is the fifth chapter. This shall be the beginning of the cool stuff. YAY!**

**I am gonna try to make the chapters from here on out much longer, so bear with me.**

**Anywho...TWILIGHT WAS SOOOOO PIMP!!!!! Sorry, I **_**had**_** to let that out. lol**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight, however, I do own a migrating turtle named Coolio!**

**

* * *

**I sat with Sophie in the break room, waiting for her to get over the shock. I had told her everything and she was just sitting there, mouth agape, staring forward. I was starting to get a little scared, but right as I put my hand on her shoulder, she came back to reality and pulled me into a huge hug, causing me to lose my breath.

"So-Sophie! Can't breath!"

"Oh!" She let go immediately and blushed. "Sorry. I guess I don't know my own strength." She let out a small laugh.

"It's okay. But I have to go. Your break is almost over. I also have some packing to do." She looked so sad, I didn't want to leave, but I knew I couldn't get even more attached or I wouldn't be able to leave. Besides, I would be putting her in danger by staying.

"I guess. Just, be safe okay? And don't forget to call me once you are settled." I felt more tears run down my cheeks, surprised my her care for me. I was very motherly, and I wasn't used to it.

"I'm going to miss you so much. Tell Andie I said bye." This time, I pulled her to me and waited until all my tears were gone to let her go.

"Me to. You're like a sister to me, I don't know how I will be able to handle 'boss man' without you!" We both laughed through out remaining tears and let each other go. "But there will always be a place for you here, you know that right?" I just nodded, not trusting my voice not to break.

"I will call you the minute I see the 'Welcome to Forks' sign." She nodded and waved as she led me to the doors. We looked at each other and smiled.

"Bye." I waved and walked to my car, waiting to see her wave back before I drove away.

My talk with Mr. Hanset had been easier than I thought it would, but saying goodbye to Sophie was way worse then I imagined. But I pulled myself together so I could call Charlie. I needed to be strong.

I had some trouble remembering every digit in Charlie's number, so I had to hunt down Renee's address book, and let me tell you, that is no easy task. I found it after a half hour and stood with the phone in my hand for an immeasurable amount of time, just staring at it like it was going to come alive. I knew what was keeping me from making the call; fear. Fear of rejection and pain. But that was nonsensical. He is my father, he wouldn't tell me I couldn't be there.

Right?

I took a deep breath and dialed the number. I felt a little light headed before I heard the ringing, which only caused me to jump.

_rrriinnggg._

Why wasn't he answering? Maybe he knew it was me and didn't even want to speak to me. I couldn't blame him, though. I had been a horrible daughter all these years. I barely spoke to him.

_rrriinnggg._

Okay, he definitely didn't want to talk to me.

_rrriinnggg._

I was starting to get a little anxious, but I controlled myself and waited.

_You have reached Charlie Swan, sorry I cant come to the phone at the moment, but I am on a business trip to Seattle and will not be back until Monday evening. You can reach me at my cell, which is 360-555-2864. Bye_

I hung up before the beep sounded for me to leave a message. I would call his cell. Yeah, that's it. So I dialed and waited again.

_rrriinnggg._

"Hello?" I was surprised to hear a groggy voice on the other end. I looked over to the clock and found it was nearly ten o'clock at night. Geeze, the trip to the Thriftway took a lot out of me. I realized I had yet to speak and cleared my throat to prepare myself.

"Charlie?" I felt so small then, like a child almost. It took me by surprise.

"Bells? Is that you?" He sounded shocked, but happy at the same time. That made me smile. I forgot how much I missed him until I heard his concern on the other line. "Bella?"

"I'm here, Charlie. How are you?" I decided to start with the easier questions before I threw the big one at him.

"Great now, Bells. I missed you so much! Aren't you almost seventeen now? My, my, time sure flies, doesn't it?" I let out a small giggle.

"Yeah, Charlie. I am. And it does. What have you been up to? I feel like I haven't talked to you in years. I miss you to." It all came out in a rush, so I was surprised to hear Charlie laugh in comprehension.

"Slow down there, Bella. I am just busy with this whole business trip. And it does seem like its been a while." I could hear the smile in his voice, but I just felt horrible.

"Oh my goodness I am a horrible daughter! How can you ever forgive me? I have been so horrid all these years! I knew this was a bad idea. I am so sorry, Charlie, I never meant to-"

"What are you talking about? You're a great daughter. And what do you mean 'this was a bad idea'?" He tried to sound calm, but a trace of worry laced his confusion

"Okay I am just going to say it."

"Say what?"

"I mean, It isn't that big a deal if you say no, I will find another option i suppose..." I was suddenly overcome with fear at the prospect of him denying me.

"Isabella Marie Swan just say it!"

"Okay. Can I, I mean feel free to say no, well...I haven't been there to deserve it, but..." I heard him sigh on the other end and took a breath of my own to prepare myself.

"Can I move over there...with you? Just for the rest of my junior and senior year, I mean I wont be a bother, but-" I was cut short by his sharp intake of breath. "Charlie? Are you okay?"

"Okay? I'm way better than okay! My daughter is coming back to me! But, when did you plan on moving here?" I sighed in relief and plopped down on the nearest seat, my knees not being able to withstand much more.

"As soon as possible. Its pretty imperative that I get out of here soon." I stole a glance at the door out of habit, fearing Phil's return. "How does tomorrow sound? I can leave tonight and be there by tomorrow night. I can just wait at home until you get back."

"_Tonight?_ What is so bad that you need to leave that soon? Whats going on, Bells?" I didn't want to tell him the details until I saw him, but I hated lying to him. Well, I guess it isn't really _lying_, but it isn't the whole truth either.

"I promise to explain everything when I get there, but I need to know that you are completely fine with this. I don't want to be a burden on you. And you don't have to stop what you're doing to go home right away, either, because I know you were thinking it."

"Its completely fine with me, Bells, but the only problem is there isn't any way to get into the house. I have the only keys with me." That was a surprise I didn't expect.

"Oh." then an idea hit me. It might be a long shot, but I have to try at least. "Dr. Carlisle lives in Forks as well. You know him and his family, right?" I waited a few moments for him to respond.

"Yes I do. Great man, he is. And his family is nothing but the picture of innocence, which it a little weird considering he have five teen-aged children. But how do you know him?" He sounded generally confused, which made me laugh.

"He and Esme were at Renee and Phil's wedding." Just saying his name made me shiver. "We met at the reception and got along really well. I might be able to stay with him for a night until you get back. Would that be okay?"

"Yeah! That would be great. If there is anyone I trust to watch you, its him." I stood up, preparing to start pacing. I needed to think of a way to gently bring up the subject to Carlisle. I rolled my eyes. I just couldn't wait for that conversation. Not.

"Thanks Charlie! Sorry to have woken you up at such a late hour." I looked over to the clock again, almost falling over when I realized I had been on the phone for over an hour. Also, If Phil _was_ coming home, it would be soon so I needed to get this done, and quick."

"No problem, sweetheart. Call me when you get here, okay? I don't wanna be worried to death all day." He let out a laugh, then a yawn. I giggled at that, which caused him to laugh along with me.

"Okay. Bye!"

"Bye." I hung up after that and waited for the dial tone so I could call Carlisle. I was crossing my fingers the entire time the phone was ringing, praying that this couldn't go the wrong way.

"Hello?" I was met with another groggy voice after two rings. I gasped and mentally slapped myself at my stupidity.

"Oh god, I am so sorry Carlisle. I forgot the time. I can call back tomorr-" He chuckled softly, interrupting me.

"It's okay, Bella. Really. Is there something you need?" He sounded so sincere, I felt my heart swell.

"Well, I know this will sound pretty outrageous but its very important and-" Again, the chuckle.

"Bella, get to the point. It's okay." I took and a breath and began.

"I am moving up to Forks and Charlie isn't there at the moment so I need a place to stay tomorrow night but after that I will be gone and you don't have to say yes but I just wanted to find out." It seemed like everything I said was a big mushed up, mumbling sound. I heard Carlisle chuckle again on the other end of the line and held my breath, awaiting his answer.

"Of course you can stay here, Bella. We told you that you are welcome here anytime. But why are you moving here? And whats the rush?" I let out the breath I was holding and started to laugh, relief clear in my tone.

"Thank you so much, Carlisle. I should let you get back to sleep, though. I promise to explain when I get there. I still have some packing to do though and I am sure you need your sleep."

"Okay then. Thank you, dear. See you soon. Bye."

"Bye." I hung up for the last time and made my way up to my room, ready to start packing. I really didn't have much so I wasn't too worried about having to take hours packing anything important, but I only wanted to take the necessities so I could leave that much faster. Besides, my car wouldn't hold much and if my room at Charlie's was as small as I remembered it to be, then it wouldn't hold much.

"Okay. Clothes first." I laughed quietly at the fact that I was actually talking to myself. I had really lost it.

Once I finished packing everything I thought was essential, I checked the time. 12:56. Geeze, I didn't notice that I took so long. Whatever. As long as I get out of here soon everything will be okay. I kept telling myself that as I loaded my car and checked how much gas I had left. Luckily, I was a smart panda yesterday and filled up so I would hopefully only have to fill up again once before I got to Forks. I was all set to go except for my purse and stash of money in my closet, so I ran back into the house.

I did not expect what, or rather _who_ was waiting for me on the small couch in the living room. And boy did he look angry.

Phil looked intently into my eyes, as if searching for a reason to hurt me. I shrank back out of reflex and tried to make my way towards the stairs without being noticed too much. That was a complete bust.

"What have you been up to Isabella? Certainly not something good or you wouldn't be on your way out the door in such a hurry. You know, when I came in the back door a few minutes ago and found you missing," Oh. The _back_ door. Why hadn't I thought of that sooner? "I thought for sure you wouldn't be trying anything rash. But here you are, skipping town with everything you own to somewhere completely unknown to anyone. Care to explain yourself?" He sounded like he had been drinking for quite a while and I really didn't want to push any buttons, but I had to get out. So, I took a deep breath and mustered up all the strength I could to do the only thing I could think to do.

I lied.

"My friend from work asked me to babysit tonight." I hoped he was too far gone to recall the fact that I had my room in my trunk.

"Bull. Tell me the truth." He stood abruptly and stumbled a bit, but managed to make his way towards me, leaving my uneasy. "Don't make me do something I might regret in the morning." I shuddered.

"I'm not lying, Phil. Now, if you will excuse me..." I quickly made my way under his raised arm and ran up the stairs to my room, grabbing my purse from the bed and the money from the small box in the closet. Right as I was about to turn the knob to my door, I heard footsteps. Loud, angry, drunken footsteps that were making their way to my. I started to panic as I thought about my means of escape and tried not to hyperventilate when I found none. I weighed my options for a moment and came up with an incredibly stupid, yet effective, idea.

The window!

The house was only two stories and there was a huge tree right outside so I wouldn't be too scratched up. So, with my money and purse in hand, I quietly opened my window and jumped onto the first branch, praying it wouldn't break on me. Luckily, I made it without tumbling down to my death.

"Okay, Bella. You can do this. Just breath and take it one branch at a time." I told myself before I started climbing down.

After a few minuted and several small scratches, I made it to the ground. I silently thanked whatever god was out there for helping me and ran to my car. I could still hear the now faint sounds of Phil banging on the door to my room, so I took that moment to make my escape.

* * *

The trip to Forks, Washington is 1183 miles **[A/N: Accurate distance!] **and would take a little more than a day, considering my slow driving. I considered staying overnight at a hotel for the night and continuing the next night, but I figured I would need all the money I had, so I decided against it.

I was more than half way there when I heard my cell phone go off. Keeping my eyes on the road, I searched around for it in my purse. When I found it, I nearly threw it out the window because of the name flashing on the caller i.d.

Mom.

If I wanted to get away without any problems, I had to cut her off completely. With a sigh, I put my phone back in my purse and kept on driving.

At around 6:30 a.m. my gas tank was nearly empty, not to mention my stomach, so I stopped at a small gas station on the side of the road to fill up and have a quick breakfast.

As I neared my destination, I felt queasier and queasier. My mind felt as if it were running on overdrive and I could explode at any moment. I kept thinking up worst-case scenarios for my arrival and what everyone would think of me. I knew it was foolish on my part, but I couldn't help the feeling that something horrible was going to happen.

Finally, I saw the 'Welcome to Forks' sign, and let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding in. I pulled over to the side of the road so I could call Esme for directions to her and Carlisle's house.

"Hello?" She sounded cheery as ever. That made me smile.

"Hey, Esme. It's Bella. I am at the 'Welcome to Forks' sign now. Carlisle said to call for directions to your home. He said it was a little difficult to get there." She made what I assumed to be a happy noise and started speaking, almost to fast for me to understand.

"Oh, honey, I am so excited! I think I will just come get you. It _is_ really difficult to get here. I will be there in a flash, just stay put."

"Oh, Esme, really there is no need to---" She cut me off mid-sentence.

"Nonsense! I will be there soon. Bye!" She cut off before I could say goodbye, or protest, again, so I just shut my phone and waited.

About fifteen minutes later, I heard the sound of an engine running at its full capacity. I tore my eyes away from my copy of Wuthering Heights, only to see a sleek, black Mercedes coming towards me. I almost screamed thinking there would be an impact, but as soon as I saw the car come to a screeching halt, I breathed a sigh of relief figuring that it was only Esme and her erratic excitement. I was proved right when she jumped out of the driver's side of the car and ran over to my car with a huge smile on her face.

"Bella! So nice to see you again, dear." I was only out of my car a moment when she she ambushed me with an iron grip of a hug.

"Same to you." I said breathlessly. "You really didn't have to drive all the way over here." She just shook her head and smiled even wider.

"Come now, sweetie, lets get you into some warmth. Just follow me back and we will be there in no time." I decided it was a dumb idea to try and argue with Esme, so I sighed and agreed to follow her back to her home, unaware of what would come of my arrival.

* * *

**Another chapter done! **

**Again, SO sorry about the wait. **

**So, what do you think? review!**

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	6. Chapter 6: Down, down, down

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 6: Down, down, down

**A/N: SOOOO here is the sixth chapter. **

**So sorry for the wait but it is close to Christmas break and my teachers have been loading me up with stuff.**

**Anywho...OMG TWILIGHT MOVIE ROCKED! I am dying to see it over and over!**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight, however, I do own my brother as of now!**

It was cold. Very cold. That was the first thing I noticed when I stepped inside Carlisle and Esme's house, err...mansion. Whatever it was, it was huge and so _cold._ But I was grateful that they were letting me stay, so I kept my mouth shut.

Esme was walking around telling me where everything was and pulling me along with more force than I thought possible for her small frame. The house had three stories so the tour lasted about half an hour, but after Esme was sure I knew everything she thought I needed to know, she lead me to the kitchen saying I was too thin. That I needed a good meal before I rested fully.

"Don't you ever eat? Well, no matter. I will feed you so well, you wont want to leave!" She laughed at her owon joke and continued to wander around the kitchen, making something she refused to tell me about.

"It's a surprise." She said. I was actually starting to get a little worried when I saw the massive amount of food she pulled out of the refrigerator, but I just stopped looking in her direction to keep my mind from having a meltdown. I decided to make light conversation to take my mind off of things, as well as distract Esme a bit.

"So, how long have you and your faminly lived here in Forks?" She looked up, a little startled at my random question, but answered nonetheless.

"Just over two years. As you know, Carlisle is a doctor, so he took the job here because he wanted to work in a smaller town. He said he loves the closeness of everyone here. I have to say, I was a little skeptical of his choice at first, but when we got here I loved it. Everyone here is so nice, and I got to start a new project on this house. It didn't always look this good, honey." I smiled at her. It was so easy to talk to her here. It just seemed..._right._ And it made me feel less guradred and more at home. I really needed that after my hast in leaving Pheonix.

"Here you go, sweetie. My specialty." She put a huge plate in front of me, filled with a large chunk of steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, and a roll. I felt full just looking at it.

"So are you planning on telling me why you are here in Forks? And why such a hurry?" That made me swallow what food I had in my mouth and look up. She looked as if she already knew, but then again, she was full of suprises so she might have. "I know it isn't for the excellent school district. So tell me. Why travel so far to live with a father you barely know and go to a school you will undoubtably hate and why all of this happening in less than a two days? Please, do tell me or I cant help you at all. You can trust me, honey." Just then, she smiled at me. And not like the smiles I am used to, but a kind, motherly smile.

I dont know if it was the smile that did it, or if it was the truth in her words, but I started to cry. Long streams of tears fell down my face as I sobbed into her embrace while I tried to grasp what was really happening to me. To my life. That made me cry all the harder. But after about twenty minutes, I stopped and told her everything. All about my past and what would be my future if I had stayed in Pheonix. It felt good, but seeing her shed a few tears for me made me want to cry all over again.

"I cant believe all you have been through all this time. You poor thing. Come with me. You need to rest. It is getting awfully late. " She led me up the stairs to the second storey (thank goodness for that) and into one of the huge spare bedrooms. "Are you going to be alright? I am just across the hall if you need me." By then I was changed and in bed, already half asleep.

"You are too kind, Esme. I will be just fine. Thank you so much." She smiled down at me and said goodnight before she left. I was asleep before she even shut the door.

I awoke the next morning fully rested and ready to face whatever the world would throw at me. The first thing I noticed in the air was a distinct aroma of syrup, which made me remember Esme and all her kindness the previous night. I took a deep breath and made my way down the stairs and followed the scent to the kitchen, mostly because I wouldnt have been able to find it again in the huge house.

When I got to the kitchen, I smiled brightly at the sight of Esme covered in flour with an enormous stack of pancakes piled high on the plate she was holding. When she caught sight of me standing in the doorway, she set the plate down and ran to pull me into a tight hug.

"Good morning, Esme. That smells heavenly, can I help with anything?" She simply shook her head and pushed me into a seat.

"Nonesense. You are a guest in my home. You will do no such thing! Just enjoy it is all I ask."

"I wish you said the same thing to me, mom. Then I wouldn't have to cook all the time." I turned my head to see who the small voice came from, only to meet eyes with the smallest, most adorable girl I have ever seen. She looked like a tiny pixie with her short, black spiky hair and angelic face. I almost couldn't take my eyes away.

"Oh, Alice, you hardly cook at all and I _believe _that was because of Christmas of '04. Remember, darling?" She looked as if she was just stricken with a great idea, making her whole face light up.

"Oh yeah. Well, it would be nice to hear it sometimes is all I'm saying. Oh! Hi, I'm Alice. And you are...?" She looked so nice and innocent, but she had an evil little gleam in her eyes that made me wonder just how innocent she was.

"This is Bella. Chief Swan's daughter. She is moving in with him for the remainder of her junior and senior year."

"Hello. Its nice to meet you, Alice." I stuck my hand out for her to shake, but got pulled into a ferocious hug instead. The family sure had a thing for hugs.

"Oh this is just wonderful! Now I have another buddy to go shopping with! This will be great, just you wait and see. I think we should buy you somenew outfits for school. Oh! Maybe we could call for a salon apointment or spa treatment? I need to get started right away!" Everything she said came out in one long sentence and as she spoke, she jumped up and down like a child might. She seemed hyper enough to give me a handful and that was enough to scare me.

"You dont have to---" She interrupted by putting up a finger to silence me.

"Have to? I want to. It will be fun! I promise. I am going to go get changed. Be back in an hour or two!" I stared after her as she left, dazed and just a little confused. Maybe a little scared to.

"You'll have to excuse Alice. She can be a bit hyper." I just nodded and looked back to my pancakes.

After I was finished (and washed my plate, much to Esme's discomfort, but I insisted), I got dressed and packed what I had taken in. When it was all in my car, I went back inside to say goodbye to Esme.

"You have done so much for me. I cant even begin to tell you how thankful I am."

"Its no problem at all. Come back anytime." Just then, her cell phone rang. She looked at the screen with a confused expression on her face, but answered nonetheless.

"Hello darling, what---" In just a few seconds, her expression changed completely. She looked grave and very sad. I felt a pang in my heart for her. What was happening must have been horrible.

"Do you want to tell her or should I?" She nodded once, even though the person on the other end wouldnt be able to tell.

"Okay. See you soon." She hung up then and took a deep breath.

"Is everything okay, Esme?" She shook her head no.

"Bella, honey, I think you should come inside and wait for Carlisle." As she said those words, I felt my whole life crumble beneath me. I didn't know for sure yet, but I could feel that something huge was happening.

_Charlie._

**Another chapter done! **

**Again, SO sorry about the wait. I know its short, but then next one will be super long, I promise!**

**So, what do you think? review!**

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	7. Chapter 7: Into the Depths

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 7: Into the Depths

**A/N: SOOOO here is the sixth chapter. **

**So sorry for the wait but.........ITS WINTER BREAK!**

**Anywho...I like this chapter a lot and cant wait till you guys read! I seriously almost cried.**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight, however, I do a plethora of books!**

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We waited for twenty minutes for Carlisle. The longest twenty minutes of my life, it seemed. But when he finally arrived, I felt the need to wait some more. It was really quiet and the only people in the room were me, Esme, Carlisle, and little Alice for support. She held my hand tight while Carlisle paced in front of us, unsure of how to tell me the news. I couldn't take it any more.

"Please, Carlisle. I have to know." I felt Alice's hand tighten around mine at that.

"Okay Bella," He sat in the black leather chair in front of the small couch that held us three women. "Charlie," My heart tightened at his name. "was in an accident. He was on his way home when he got called to the outskirts of town. Someone heard gunshots and called the police. When he got there...there were more people involved than he expected and he couldn't handle it alone. He tried to but...by the time the backup got there, he had already lost a lot of blood from a gunshot wound. He died a few minutes after he reached the E.R." I didn't feel the tears that were flowing down my face. I didn't hear Alice and Esme start to sob. I didn't even see anything but darkness and my last hope slip away along with my father's life. All I felt was pain and all I heard was Phil's laughter at my misfortune. Then, I felt, heard, and saw nothing. It was all black.

I could feel myself being moved, but I didn't stir. I could even hear a low murmur of voices, but I didn't open my eyes to see who the unfamiliar voice belonged to. I let the voices carry me to what I thought was a huge bed. Then, I listened.

"This isn't how I expected it would go. She has taken it comparatively well, considering the circumstances. I thought she would cry harder, or scream, anything but sit still and faint." I knew this voice. Carlisle. He sounded so gentle. So fatherly.

"I know. What are we going to do when she wakes up, though? She has nowhere to go to. No reliable family. Nothing. She can't even trust her own _mother_." Esme. Always the most kind hearted.

"I was the last to see Charlie before he passed and he told me that if he didn't make it, he wanted you and I to keep her in our care if it wasn't any trouble. He seemed to have a good feeling about her situation at home and, well, I told him we would, of course. What do you think?"

"Of course she can stay here. And not just because of what happened, but she feels like a daughter to me already. I don't think I could live with myself if we had to send her into foster care."

"I feel the same. But what about the kids? What will they think? You know how Rosalie is." Rosalie...the name sounded familiar. One of their eldest children, I remembered.

"Well I think it would be great to have another girl in the house. She seems a little quiet, but that's to be expected." That was Alice's voice. I misjudged her completely. She sounded so calm and caring.

"That's wonderful, Alice dear. But do you think you could go and find out what the others think about this? Preferably before she wakes up. I don't want her to have to deal with more than she has to all at once. She will have enough on her plate."

"No problem, mom. I will go right now." I heard the door open and close, then quiet. I figured that it was safe to 'wake up' so I opened my eyes and looked at my surroundings. I was in the same room I slept in the previous night. That made me smile. The second thing I discovered was that I was not alone.

"How long were you awake?" The calming voice of Carlisle rang in my ears. I slowly turned to see him smiling gently at me.

"A while. I'm sorry. I should have said something..." I felt a wave of guilt rush over me at my actions. They were being nothing but kind to me and I..well, I felt bad.

"Its quite all right. Now, are you okay?" He turned on the small elegant lamp that sat on the bedside table and looked at me with such concern, it made me want to cry all over again.

"I...he...I-I don't know what t-to do n-now. He was all I had l-left. Why does this have to happen?" I looked to him as if he had all the answers I needed while the tears once again slipped silently down my face. I felt Carlisle pull me into a soft embrace and whisper, "Everything will be just fine, Bella. We are all here for you." Just those few words were enough to send me over the edge. I had never had a father figure in my life for an extended period of time, and Carlisle felt like the dad I always wanted but never got. After what felt like an eternity, I let go of Carlisle and told him I was exhausted. It was the truth, but not the reason why I insisted he go to get some sleep with Esme. I felt bad for keeping him there with me for my own advantage when he had a family that needed him. His actual family.

I finally went to sleep at around 3:00 a.m. with thoughts of Charlie in my mind. The one thing that stuck out completely was the fact that I didn't even get to say goodbye. That just added to my misery, so I pushed that from my mind before I fell into darkness.

I felt a small object poking into my side with extreme force, causing me to open my eyes to see Alice laying next to me, poking me in my side intently. I guess she was too focused on my side that she didn't see me wake, so I took that to my advantage.

"Need something?" She jumped so high, she fell completely off the bed. I had to stifle a giggle at that.

"That's not very nice." She stood, rubbing her butt where she fell.

"It isnt very nice to poke innocent sleeping people either, last time I checked."I looked at her pointedly. She just shrugged and sat next to me again. I felt the shift slightly from her weight and moved over so she would have more room. It was odd, but I felt comfortable with Alice even though I had known her less than a day. The thought made me smile.

"So what did you need?" She brightened up and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Breakfast!" I couldn't keep in my laughter at her odd giddiness.

"What? Its a special occasion!" That made me laugh harder.

"I'm sorry," I quieted to a soft giggle. "what is so special about breakfast this fine morning?" She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, sensing my heavy sarcasm.

"Well, if you must know," She cracked a smile then. "Carlisle has the day off!" She looked so happy, made me smile.

"Okay then. I guess I should get up?" She nodded her head rapidly.

I did as she recommended and got up. I went to take a shower and came back to see that she had picked out an outfit for me that was neatly folded on the edge of the bed.

"Thanks." I turned to see if she was still in the room, but she had left. I smiled at her courtesy and changed into the clothes.

After I looked into the full length mirror on the wall, I decided I was ready to go face the Cullens'.

I crept out of the guest room and made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen where I was met by not just Alice or Esme or Carlisle, but ALL of the Cullens'.

The first one that I noticed was a huge, burly man who I assumed was Emmet, by Esme's description. He had dark curly hair and a wide grin that showed two very prominent dimples. He was handsome and seemed to fit at the side of the woman next to him, but he looked like he was a body builder and his height did nothing to satiate my slight fear of him.

The next person I noticed, who was at Emmet's side, nearly took my breath away. Esme's description of Rosalie did nothing to prepare me for what my eyes had to take in. She was tall and thin and had long flowing blond hair that went to her lower back. She was wearing a blood red halter shirt that showed a sliver of her stomach and a short black mini skirt that made her legs look a mile long. I immediately felt plain and undersressed in her presence.

Holding Alice's hand was, I assumed, Jasper. He was very handsome, to put it mildly. He had long, wavy, blond hair and stunning blue eyes that matched Rosalie's icy ones, but they seemed to hold less...aggression in them. He was very tall, at least 6 foot, and was lean and muscular. It seemed a lttle odd to me that the height difference between him and Alice didn't sway their affection towards each other, but that made it all the more endearing.

The last person to catch my eye was Edward. I knew it was him immediately by his striking green eyes and dark bronze hair. Those weren't the only things I noticed though. There were hundreds of things about him that ran through my mind all at one time. One of the first being how incredibly attractive he was. He was tall and slender, but muscular at the same time, yet not as muscular as Jasper or Emmet. He had a perfectly strait nose and a square set jaw that held two full lips. If one thing was for certain in my mind about this family, it was that they all had great genes. Another being that they liked to put me on the spot. The moment I stepped into the kitchen, all conversation ceased and all eyes were on me, making my famous blush creep up on me once again.

"Good morning, dear. Are you hungry at all?" Esme was the first to break the small silence. I was about to tell her no when my stomach rumbled audibly. I felt my cheeks grow hot as I walked to the stool at the bar-like counter. I heard a small tinkling giggle from Alice and a few muffled laughs from the rest of my audience.

"I'll take that as a yes. What would you like, sweetie?" I chanced a look up at Esme and found nothing but care in her eyes. I smiled at her and spoke.

"I don't suppose you will let me make it myself, or at least help you?" I asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.

"Of course not! What kind of hostess would I be if I allowed you to do that?" We both laughed quietly before she set out to make me a breakfast of her own choosing. I decided that would be as good a time as any to introduce myself to everyone, so I turned in my seat to face everyone else at the table in the breakfast nook.

"Good morning. I'm Bella." Geeze, could I be any more of a dork?

"Good morning to you to, Bella. How did you sleep?" I turned to face Carlisle before I answered him.

"Pretty good, thanks. I didn't expect to, but that bed is just way to comfortable. I don't think I would even be awake right now if it weren't for Alice." I shot her a smile to let her know I wasn't angry.

"If I had known I was going to leave the room wounded I would have never chanced waking you up." We both laughed fromt he memory.

"I am sorry about that. You aren't hurt too bad, are you?" I was really concerned about it. When she fell, it sounded like it hurt.

"I'm okay. I'm a trooper." She made a show of flexing her small biceps to the room, causing everyone to laugh.

"What happened?" Jasper asked after the laughter had ceased.

"I was just sitting on the bed next to Bella here, and I was gently waking her up---" I laughed at that before interjecting her story.

"Since when does poking count as gentle?" She shot me a look that quieted me immediately.

"---_anyway_, I was gently waking her up when out of nowhere she says. "need something?", scaring me half way to China and making me jump. which made me fall of the bed and you know how short I am so the fall was pretty far."

We all laughed at that while Jasper, Rosalie, Emmet, and Edward took in the information. I looked around at this happy family and felt a pang of envy. I could have had this. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine Charlie; smiling and waving, trying to get me to get into a fishing boat with him. That was the last memory I had of him and I had said no. Now I regret not getting on that boat.

"Bella?" I opened my eyes to find Alice a mere inch from my face, looking worried.

"Yes?" I smiled at her for reassurance.

"You looked out of it. And breakfast is ready for you." She moved back to her position by Jasper while I turned back around to eat. Esme was now by Carlisle and the family was conversing about nothing in particular.

When I finished, Esme was at the ready, waiting to take my plate away. I thanked her and excused myself to go to the restroom.

I went to the one furthest away on the first floor, just to be sure no one would walk in on me.

Then I cried. For Me, for Charlie, and for my lost life.

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**Another chapter done! **

**Again, sorry about the wait. I just cant seem to get my creative juices flowing like before.**

**So, this one was very emotional. I had a hard time with it, but I think it turned out okay.**

**Also, I have decided not to post the next chapter until I get some reviews! I think we can start off with a small nuber, like 15. I think we can do it!**

**So, what do you think? review!**

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	8. Chapter 8: Start All Over

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 8: Start All Over

**A/N: YAY! Eighth chapter time!**

**So sorry for the wait but I have been sick and not up to anything.**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight, however, I do own a box of animal crackers!**

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We were to meet with Charlie's lawyer the following day to discuss the matters of my predicament.

All I wanted to do was sleep.

Carlisle and Esme treated me as if I was their child, which made me feel a lot better. They really were like a second pair of parents.

That night, I called Renee. I figured no matter how bad of a mother she was, she deserved to know that Charlie was dead. I heard three rings before I heard her voice.

"Hello?" I couldn't speak. It felt like it had been years since I had talked to her instead of just days.

"I'm going to hang up if you don't talk." She sounded bored. Typical Renee.

"Mom." She gasped.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN WHERE ARE YOU?" I had to hold the phone away from my ear so I wouldn't go deaf.

"That's not important. Mom, I have something I need to-"

"Excuse me? Of course it's important! I come home thinking everything is normal and you aren't there! Where the hell are you?! And don't you lie to me." I took a deep breath before speaking.

"Renee, listen to me. I-"

"No you listen to me. You are going to get your ass in your car and come home right now, do you understand me? I swear, you are such a-" This time, it was my turn to interrupt.

"Charlie is dead!" That caught her attention.

"What?" She didn't sound sad, or even worried at all. Only annoyed. And that just pissed me off even more.

"My father is dead. And you don't even sound the least bit concerned. I always knew you were an unfit, cruel, and idiotic mother, but I never took you for a bitch. I guess I was wrong." I hung up before I could hear her reply. And I felt better. It was as if a weight had been lifted and I could breathe again.

The rest of the night, I contemplated how things were going to be. I would be staying with Esme and Carlisle. I hated to admit it but the idea was not at all unwelcomed. I felt my fondness for them grow every day; they were already becoming a family to me, and not just the two of them, but Alice and even Emmet. I hadn't talked to Rosalie, Jasper, or Edward much but that was fine with me. Emmet was enough entertainment to last me a lifetime. And Alice…well, Alice was Alice. She talked to me and kind of scared me, but I could tell we would be friends fast.

"Bella? Are you alright?" Speak of the devil.

"Hey Alice. What's up?" It was nearing 10:30 p.m. I had expected her to be with Jasper. "Where's Jasper?"

"Studying. He's a weirdo. But I love him anyway. Do you wanna watch a movie with me?" She gave me a pout and I knew I wouldn't be able to say no.

"Yeah, Alice. Sure." She clapped her hands and dragged me to her room across the hall. Her room was the picture of preppiness. Her walls were white, but were covered with pictures and shelves that held books and trophies. I couldn't help but gape at my surroundings.

"Wow, Alice. I love your room." Her smile intensified tenfold.

"Thanks. So what are you in the mood for? I'm up for anything. Within reason." She laughed at that, leaving me no choice but to follow suit.

"It doesn't really matter to me, Alice. Anything is fine." That was all the encouragement she seemed to need as she skipped off to a huge cabinet filled to the brim with every movie imaginable.

"Wow." That was all I could manage without seeming like an idiot.

"I know, right? All my family ever gets me, well the things they can _wrap_, are movies. Otherwise I get cash, but in a weird way I like this better. But don't tell them I said that." She slipped me a wink and I nodded, unsure of what to say. Every time I thought I had her figured out she would change her pattern, erasing all traces of her previous path as if it was just my imagination.

"So anyway, how about romantic comedy kind of thing? I can even make popcorn and get some candy if you want." She smiled brightly at me and I could tell that while she was being friendly, she was also trying to make things less awkward for me by getting me used to the run of the house. I instantly felt more relaxed.

"That sounds great, Alice." And that time, I meant it.

"Bella? Wake up, Bella! Come on I even picked out an outfit for you!" I groaned and turned over in my bed to try and hide from the morning person that is Alice.

"I don't want to." I tried to say it with more authority but the sound was muffled by the pillow under my head."

"Don't be ridiculous! It is your first day of school!" Oh yeah. School. I had completely forgotten about that. Now I _really_ didn't want to get up.

"Same answer." I felt her small hands grip the hem of my shirt, trying to pull me off the bed, and to my surprise, she succeeded.

"Okay! I'm up. Thank you for the wakeup call." She smiled at me then left the room, still in her hyperactive mood.

When Carlisle and I met with Charlie's lawyer the previous Monday, we went into extreme detail. As it turns out, Charlie left everything to me. And I mean _everything._ The house, the car, the money. All of it. Mine. And I didn't even know what I would do with it. Carlisle advised that I wait until I was a little older to deal with everything, and I didn't protest. Just the thought of how I would handle everything sent my head spinning. I told Carlisle that if it wasn't that much of a burden, then he could handle things if he wanted. He just smiled at me and told me to do whatever made me comfortable.

As I dressed in the so-called outfit Alice had picked for me, I began to realize just how little to it there was. She gave me tight fitting low rise dark wash jeans, paired with an off-the-shoulder baby doll top that reached my knees, and black ballet flats, to which I was grateful for. But I still felt oddly…exposed, as I made my way into the kitchen. I tried to cover myself up as much as I could, but I hadn't had the chance to buy myself a jacket yet, so I had to manage.

"Bella, you look darling!" I turned to see Esme; eyes alight with joy as she looked me over. Then I turned to see Alice smiling proudly in one of the high stools next to Jasper, who gave me a slight smile and went back to his breakfast.

"Thank you, Esme." I looked to the floor, trying to hide my inescapable blush that was creeping onto my face.

"She is going to have to fight the guys off with a stick today!" Just as she said that, Emmet came bustling though the door and eyed me speculatively.

"Not while I'm around," Queue muscle flexing. "The wont have a chance to get near you with me protecting you." Flash of 100 watt smile. "Besides, she does need to be covered a little more or she _will_ have to fight off some people. That was all you, right Ali?" Enter point at my outfit.

"You got that right. Only a genius would be able to pick that out. You get to ride with me today, Bella!" I swear she has some kind of hyperactive disorder. Nevertheless, I smiled and nodded at her while I found a seat and ate my pancakes.

Right as I put a huge forkful of pancake in my mouth, Edward and Rosalie walked through the door. Rosalie looked indifferent, as always, as she made her way to Emmet, while Edward looked amused. I only looked to him for a moment, but it was long enough for him to catch my eye and make me blush all over again.

"Good morning Bella." His voice sounded like soft velvet. I thought that after the first shock of hearing his voice, I would get used to it. That theory was soon demolished. I still felt my heart race every time he spoke to me, thus in turn causing me to blush and him to smirk.

"Good morning, Edward. How are you today?" I tried not to trip over my words as I spoke, but I still sounded a bit shell shocked. How embarrassing.

"Just fine. And you?"

"Great. Not looking forward to school though…" I muttered the last part in the hopes that no one would hear it. Ant it seemed like it until I heard Edward chuckle under his breath. I looked over to his and saw the crooked smile that made me melt.

"I think it's time you kids started to head off. Make sure Bella gets to her classes all right." Esme practically pushed us all out the door, waving goodbye as she closed it back. I just stood there gripping my backpack and waiting for transportation instructions.

"Rose, are you taking your car?" Rose nodded once and opened the door to a blood red mustang convertible. "Me and Jasper are going to take my Porsche. Edward, can you take Bella? You know how much stuff I need to take and between me and Jasper there won't be enough room." He nodded, still smiling, while I gaped at her. The traitor.

"See you all at school. Bye!" She quickly shut the door to her bright yellow Porsche and sped off before I could even give my input. I was taken out of my mind wandering then by the sound of Edwards voice.

"You coming?" I nodded and followed him to his shiny silver Volvo. It looked really nice (and expensive) so when I sat down on the buttery soft leather interior, I tried not to touch anything fearing I would somehow taint it.

"Thanks for the ride. I would have driven myself but my stupid car hates me." I grumbled.

"I'm sure Rosalie could take a look at it. She is great with cars. We don't even take any of them to a shop. She does any repair or tune up for us. Saves us a lot of money." He smiled his crooked smile at me and I tried not to blush.

"That's cool. I will have to ask her about it." With that, we remained silent the rest of the way. But it wasn't an awkward silence. It felt like a companionable one, so I didn't worry too much about it.

"We're here." I heard him say.

"Oh." I looked up at the small school, feeling a bit uneasy. Sure I had seen the school before, but for some reason, it felt like I was looking at something else. Something foreign. I took a few steps forward, took a deep breath, and started my day.

~!~!~!~

"How was English?" I had just finished second period and I was already exhausted. The classes themselves were easy, so far, but it just felt like they just dragged on and _on. _But Alice didn't seem fazed at all. But then again, she was used to the torture.

"Boring. Is it time to go home yet?" I looked at her hopefully, and she just laughed. I scowled at her.

"Almost. Just three more till lunch and two after that. Then you'll be home free. Just hang in there Bella!" As she walked away, I turned to find that the halls were almost clear, save for two people I did not expect to see together. They were halfway hidden and practically glued to each other's face. I decided not to ruin their moment and walked quickly to my next class, praying I wouldn't be late on my first day.

I got to my Spanish class right on time and took my slip of paper up to the teacher to be signed.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan. I'm supposed to get this signed." I blushed and handed her the paper. She smiled and signed it, then pointed to a seat near the back for me to sit in. On my walk over to the desk, I nearly caught my foot on a desk to the right of me and stumbled a little, causing the class to erupt in quiet laughter.

Well that went well.

When I was finally seated, I pulled out a notebook and started to doodle. I was in Advanced Placement Spanish 3 at my old school and this was only Spanish 2. As it turns out, the school only offers up to third year Spanish, so now I was stuck in a class learning things I already knew. Great.

The bell caught my attention, making me smile. The time flew when I wasn't paying attention.

I picked up my bag and make my way out into the hallway, only to be met by Jasper's smiling face.

"How was Spanish?" We were already walking towards the History building by then.

"It went by fast. I wasn't paying any attention though. I covered all the basics of this year last year in Phoenix. How was your class?" I felt like I was rambling but Jasper just smiled and waited till I was finished.

"I had Physics. It was pretty boring, but I managed. Where are you going next?" I took out my schedule to remind myself of exactly where I was going.

"American History." He looked taken aback by that. I looked at him quizzically, hoping he would elaborate.

"That's where I'm going, but it's a senior level class." I had completely forgotten that Jasper, as well as Rosalie and Emmet, were a year above Alice, Edward, and I.

"Oh yeah, you're a senior. Now I feel stupid." We both laughed as we walked in the classroom, making nearly everyone's head turn in our direction.

"Okay…awkward. I am going to get my little paper signed now." Jasper nodded and turned to walk to his desk while I walked up to the teacher's desk and got the slip signed.

"Just sit wherever." He said. I nodded and looked around for a seat. I smiled when I saw one right next to Jasper.

"Hello again," He said. "So, not to be rude, but why are you in a senior level class?" He looked really confused, as well as amazed.

"I was already in AP American History at my old school. I didn't want to go down a level. Besides, I love history." His eyes lit up at that.

"Me too." That was all he got to say before the class was started.

~!~!~!~

I soon learned that Jasper was a complete zealot about History. And today we just so happened to be starting the lesson on the Civil War and confederates and all that jazz, which, coincidentally, was his favorite topic.

"I just don't understand how the Confederates lost. I mean, I understand, but I don't _understand._" He looked frustrated but smiled and laughed when he realized that he wasn't making any sense.

"Well, at least I have someone to argue with now. No one in the house even thinks about it." He sulked all the way to the main building where we parted.

"Okay. Three down, two to go." I said as I walked into the Pre-Calculus room.

My next two classes passed by without incident and before I knew it, it was time for lunch. I met up with Alice and Jasper as we made our way through the lunch line, me grabbing a slice of pizza, Alice a hamburger, and Jasper a hamburger, fries, _and_ a slice of pizza.

"Jasper you are such a guy." Me and Alice both laughed while he just looked lost.

"Whatever you say…" When we reached the table Rosalie and Emmet were at, we all sat down and immediately started talking. It felt so…right, to be here with them, talking and laughing and just having a good time. Just then, though, Edward walked by the table, arms around some girl's waist, and sent us all a smile.

"I can't believe he is still with her. That tramp." I turned, stunned, to see Alice with a sour expression on her face.

"Who is she?" I asked. Everyone at the table turned to glare at the girls back as she walked away.

"Tanya Denali. The school slut, basically. She and Edward have been a thing for almost four months. It's sickening really. She only wants one thing and he has yet to give it to her, so she is sticking around. Too bad he can't see it." I was surprised to hear that it was Emmet, sounding worried for his brother, as he spoke of Tanya. He didn't seem like the type to get emotional.

"How do you guys know…I mean why…I don't know." I was lost.

"Whenever she is over at our house with Edward, she is constantly flirting with Emmet and Japer. I swear I could just rip her stupid strawberry blond hair out." Alice's fists clenched and she looked livid.

"Same here. I almost did once, maybe six weeks ago. She was feeling up on Emmet and I almost lost control." The venom in Rosalie's voice made me flinch.

"Try and stay away from her. She is a total bitch, and she feeds off of others discomfort and weakness, and mostly vulnerability. I don't want to sound mean, Bella, but you are the new girl and she will probably try and torment you. More so because you live with Edward.

"Will do." Just the thought of her scared me a little.

And then I remembered what Edward said this morning.

"Hey Rosalie, if it isn't too much of a problem, could you take a look at my car. Edward said you know how to fix them, but if you don't want to its okay, but I really want to be able to drive myself around…" I looked up, face blushing, to see Rosalie's eyes wide with excitement. All traces of her bad mood had disappeared.

"Now you've done it Bella…" Emmet muttered. Rosalie glared at him then playfully hit the back of his head.

"Ow!" We all laughed at that.

"It would be a pleasure, Bella." Just then, the first bell rung, signaling sixth period.

"Well, I will see you guys after school." And with that, I made my way to Biology.

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**Another chapter done! I needed to add some bonding for Jasper and Bella. It is usually so hostile between them. I think that this chapter turned out well though.**

**So, what do you think? Review! And I MEAN review. I need need need some feedback!**

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	9. Chapter 9: Chemistry

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 9: Chemistry

**A/N: NINTH chapter time!**

**I think you guys are going to like this chapter. Lots of action. ;D**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight, however, I do own a pair of awesome Ernie (from Sesame street) slippers!**

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I walked into Biology with a newfound happiness that put an extra bounce in my step.

Too bad that bounce backfired on me.

Just as I was maybe a foot away from Mr. Banner's desk, I stumbled, nearly falling flat on my face. Luckily, I caught the desk before I could fall. I could hear muffled laughter from around the room, causing the ever-present blush to fill my cheeks.

"You should be more careful." I turned to unfamiliar, yet hateful sounding, voice to find Tanya looking down on me with a sneer.

"Sorry." I mumbled as Mr. Banner pointed a seat out. When I got there and sat down, I realized Tanya was glaring holes in the side of my face, so I tried to ignore it, not understanding what her problem was until I heard a seat being pulled out next to me.

"Hello Bella." I turned to Edward, a little surprised, and said hello back. One thing was bothering me though, as class started. Whenever I looked at him, I got the image of him and Tanya, pressed up against each other in a corner, making out. And it bothered me a little, but I didn't know why.

When Biology was over, I left the room as quickly as I was able. I took a look at my schedule and found that I had gym for my last period of the day. I groaned but headed towards the gym building anyway.

I was so very thankful that the day had gone by so fast. When I met the others, with the exception of Edward, in the parking lot, I nearly jumped for joy. They all seemed to understand my feeling though, and smiled as we all piled into various cars and drove home.

"Yay!" I jumped out of the car and ran into the house, fully aware of the others laughing at my antics.

"A little excited to be home, Bella?" I started at the sound of Esme's caring voice. I jumped us and enveloped her in a vice grip.

"Was it that bad, honey?" I shook my head no and looked up at her.

"It was great. A little boring, but I had Alice, Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie there so it was good. Sorry I'm such an emotional wreck." I looked up at her apologetically. She just smiled.

"You are not an emotional wreck, darling. Just dealing with things. It's okay." She hugged me tight before letting me go.

"I'm sure tomorrow will be just as good. Where is Edward?" I noticed that everyone was in the living room with us by now and she was addressing everyone.

"Most likely with Tanya." Alice said, disgust evident in her voice.

"Alice…" Esme warned.

"In know, I know. I'll try not to hate her so much, but I can't guarantee anything."

"All I ask is that you try." She left after that, saying she needed to check on her lilies.

"Hey Jasper, how about a rematch?" Emmet said slyly.

"In what game? You lose against me at everything." Everyone laughed at that while Emmet glared.

"You, me, Call of Duty. Now." Emmet pointed to the TV. while Jasper shook his head.

"You are setting yourself up for failure, Emmet. But whatever. I'm game." Jasper walked over to where Emmet had set up the game console and sat down.

"We better get out of here before it gets ugly. Come on Bella, we can have some girls-only time.

"Okay. What are we going to do?" They both looked at each other mischievously then turned to me.

"Talk, of course. Nothing too horrible." I nodded but knew there was an ulterior motive to this session.

"My room or yours?" Alice asked.

"Mine. Its bigger." Alice nodded. All the while I was trying to figure out what they would need the extra space for.

When we got to Rose's room, I gasped at not only the size, but the décor . The walls were painted a deep crimson red and the windows were curtained with golden lace drapes. The carpet was an off white with a golden hue. All of the furniture was black, providing a stark contrast to the romanticized theme of the room. Her bed was queen sized with a plushy golden comforter with a black border and blood red throw pillows. All of it was simply magnificent.

"Rose, I love your room." I was gaping as they both led me to the bed. We all sat cross legged in a sort of triangle as we began to talk.

"So Rosalie, I have been meaning to ask. How's Emmet?" She wiggled her eyebrows, emphasizing her point. I was completely lost.

"Amazing. A complete animal. Jasper? Wait, do I really want to know about my brother…? Yeah, what the hell. Do tell." Alice let out a short tinkling laugh before beginning.

"Rose, there are no words. Just…pure bliss." I was really starting to get confused, so I spoke up, not completely sure I even wanted to know.

"What are you guys _talking_ about?" They looked at me with shocked expressions and gaped at me. "What? That's a normal question."

"What do you _think_ we're talking about, Bella?" Rose asked. I just shrugged.

"If I had any idea, I wouldn't have asked." I threw back. She smiled.

"Touché."

"Sex, Bella. We're talking about sex."Alice quipped. I just sat, wide-eyed, at my two new sisters, while I mentally slapped myself for asking in the first place.

"What's wrong? Haven't you ever talked about sex with any of your old friends?" Alice asked with a confused expression. I shook my head.

"My only friend was at work and she was in her early twenties with a child already. We never really had time to talk about that. Besides, I thought it might bother her if I did." I looked down at the comforter. It wasn't very comforting.

"Oh. Well you can talk to us about it now." Rose said enthusiastically.

"There isn't anything to talk about. Oh and thanks for giving me mental images of you and Emmet and you and Jasper that will surely haunt me in my dreams." I said before laughing. I didn't know how I was going to face them now.

"Your welcome. And Bella we need to ask a very important question." Rose turned to face me completely and took one of my hands while Alice took the other.

"Shoot." I said, smiling.

"Are you a virgin?" They both spoke at the same time, which jarred my senses for a second before I responded.

"Yes. And?" They both looked at each other. Then, slowly, they both grew maniacal grins. I was really scare now.

"I don't like that look you guys have. Its freaking me out."

"It is going to be out mission this year to get you laid by the end of summer. Okay?" Alice looked at Rose once more and nodded. Rose followed suit.

"Why? Is it such a bad thing to be a virgin these days?"

"Yes." They both said. I rolled my eyes.

"What if I _want_ to be one? Hmm?" They looked at me like I grew a second head.

"No one wants to be a virgin, Bella. It just isn't how things worked. Now, who do you want it to be with? It has to be someone good, it being your first time and all." In that moment, the image of Edward popped in my head. I felt so ashamed thinking of him in that was, not to mention embarrassed, but I pushed that thought out of my mind.

"No one." I said stubbornly. That didn't stop them though.

"What about that one guy?" Alice asked.

"The one with the hair?" Rosalie said.

"Yeah. But he is a little…"

"Yeah. What about the one…?"

"No he's too…"

"Oh I know, right? This is going to be harder than I thought." Rose sighed and fell back onto the edge of her bed. I decided not ask any more questions.

"Well, we will find someone. Don't worry Bella." Alice tool my hand and I shivered. Her hands were freezing.

"I won't worry because it wont happen. Can we talk about something normal?" I pleaded. Rose shot up at that.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend Bella?" Somehow I knew that was coming.

"Nope. And I don't care that I haven't. I don't need a guy to make me happy." I said.

"Oh Bella, Bella Bella you are so naïve. But you will be learn soon the error of your ways." Alice said in a mystical voice. I had to laugh out right at that, which set all of us giggling. Then suddenly, Rose froze.

"You have _never_ had a boyfriend?!" She looked shocked and appalled. I just nodded.

"Oh my god. How is that even possible?" She shook my shoulders and I just stared at her. I dint know what was going to upset her now.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You are gorgeous, smart, sweet, everything someone would want. How is it you have never had a boyfriend. Oh my god, are you a lesbian?" Rose backed away an inch or so, giving me some room.

"No, I am not a lesbian. I like guys just as much as the next girl. But I'm not gorgeous. I'm pretty plain. And I'm okay with that. Dating isn't everything, you guys." I shrugged. They both looked at each other then tackled me so that Rose was straddling me and Alice had her hand over my mouth.

"You listen and you listen good. Got it?" I nodded. "Good. Now. You are gorgeous Bella. Don't ever let anyone tell you any different. And you will not be okay with a lie. Got it?" I nodded just as the door to the room opened and Emmet and Jasper walked in. When they saw the position we were in , they both gaped. Jasper was the first to speak.

"Dude…"

"This is probably the hottest thing I have ever seen." Emmet finished for him. "If this is what 'girls-only time' is then I want to be here more often."

"Same here." Jasper said. Then I heard Rosalie laugh, followed by Alice. I just looked up at them in confusion.

"You guys have little problem. Or, really, a _big_ problem." I was still lost, but Jasper and Emmet seemed to understand. They looked down, but shrugged.

"Just proves us right." They both had proud smiled as on their faces while looked to where they did and gasped in understanding. Their arousal was extremely evident. I turned away so my blush might tone down.

"What's wrong Bella?" Alice asked. Then she realized she was still covering my mouth and released me. I took a deep breath and kept my head turned away.

"Is there a such thing as modesty in this house?" I asked mostly to myself, but Alice answered anyway.

"Nope. We are all open with each other. Oh, guys Bella is a virgin! That makes her and Edward the only ones left." Her and Rosalie laughed as they got off of me, much to the boys' disappointment. As soon as I was free I saw up, much to fast. I felt dizzy and laid down again. Then I realized what was said.

"Edward is still a virgin?" I asked, shocked.

"Yep. Weird, huh? We all though he lost it a long time ago, but he said he hasn't done anything yet." Emmet came and sat on the bed next to Rose and Jasper next to Alice. Both girls crawled into the guys' laps, stealthily hiding their erections.

"Well isn't that something. Little Bella, a virgin. I kind of guessed as much. She's much too shy to have gotten some." Jasper said after he gave Alice a peck on the cheek. I just glared.

"What made you guess that? And I am not that shy." I crossed my arms over my chest in defiance.

"Oh really? Would you mind putting that theory to the test?" I smirked, unafraid of a challenge, no matter what they thought.

"Yep. What is this little test then?" I asked Alice.

She leaned behind her and whispered something to Jasper. He smiled and nodded. Then she crawled over to me and whispered, "Kiss Jasper." I felt my eyes go wide and shook my head. That was not what I expected at all.

"I-I can't. He's your boyfriend and like a brother. It's weird."

"Then we will have to assume out assumptions are correct and will just keep on bugging you about it. Besides, he is okay with it for the purpose of experimentation." I could feel her smile from the close distance her lips were from my ear.

"I don't know…" I hesitated. On one hand, Jasper was like a brother to me and I didn't want things to be awkward between us, but on the other hand I didn't want them to have this against me and if he was really okay with it…

"Okay." I took a deep breath and waited for Jasper's move. He scooted closer to me and waited for me to lean in. I would never tell anyone this, but this would be my first kiss and I was kinda glad it was with Jasper and not some jerk I barely knew. So I leaned in slowly until I felt the heat radiating from his lips. After he knew I wouldn't move any further, he nodded and I closed the gap between us. At first I wasn't really sure what to do, but then I let my instincts take over and molded my lips with his. It felt amazing. I didn't want it to go any further, mostly because I would really have no idea what I was doing, so I pulled away and blushed furiously.

"Wow Bella, that was pretty steamy." Alice patted me on my back and smiled at me, completely unaffected by the fact that I just kissed her boyfriend.

"What did you think Jasper?" Rosalie nudged her brother, who was just sitting there, smiling.

"Just, wow. To be honest, I didn't expect it to be like that." I smiled at him.

"Well now that we know you aren't shy…you're still a prude. Ha!" Alice laughed, but hugged me right after.

"Well thanks. So I just kissed your boyfriend and my sort of brother for nothing? I just gave away my first kiss so you guys could have some laughs? Lovely." I instantly put my hand over my mouth and looked down.

"Oh my…" Alice started

"God. Bella…" Rosalie finished. I tried not to meet their eyes, but when I looked up and saw Jaspers shocked and guilty expression, I shook my head.

"No, it's okay. I'm glad it was with you and not some creep. Don't feel bad. Really." I patted Jasper's hand in the hopes that he would be appeased. HE seemed to feel a little better than before, but was still a little guilty.

"Bella I had no idea. If I did I wouldn't have made you…" Alice shook her head.

"Alice, it's okay. I promise. Besides, I am kinda glad I got it over with," I widened my eyes, realizing how it sounded. "Not that it wasn't, just, amazing Jasper, don't get me wrong. It's just I was kinda tired of wondering how it would be like and how it would feel…" I knew I was rambling but I couldn't stop. Jasper just laughed and hugged me.

"It was my pleasure." Alice slapped him on the arm, but joined our laughter soon after.

"So…who won?" I asked looking between a sulking Emmet and smirking Jasper. I guess it was obvious.

"Never mind." I said, shaking my head.

~!~!~!~

The next couple of weeks passed by without incident and I was really getting used to how things were. I had a routine already and I liked it; it felt like I had some stability. For weekdays, I got up, took a shower, brushed my teeth, got dressed (with consult from Alice), drove to school (thanks to Rose), came home, did homework, ate dinner, and went to sleep. I really didn't have a social life outside of the house so I stayed in during weekends. And Esme and Carlisle had been wonderful. They were like a pair of second parents.

"Bella! Come _on_! We're going to be late!" Alice and her persistence kept banging on my door, warning me to be ready in a few minutes. I sighed deeply and opened my door, Alice's tiny fist mid hit, looking annoyed.

"I'm ready now so you can stop that banging. Thank you Alice. Go ahead and go to school, I am going to grab some kind of food really quick." I smiled at her as we made our way down the stairs and into the kitchen where everyone else was congregated.

"Okay! Come on Jazz." With that, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmet left, leaving only the sound of tired peeling away in their wake. I laughed silently to myself. There was more than an hour to go until school started. They are insane to be such morning people.

After I finished my granola bar, I threw away the wrapper and made my way to my car. When I tried to start it, though, I heard it strain then stop. I did this three times before giving up.

"Stupid car. Why are you so cruel to me?" Great. Now I was talking to cars. Just then, Edward walked out of the house with a huge smile on his face. When finally spotted me, I was half way out of my car and most likely had a huge grimace on my face.

"Want a ride?" I nodded and made my way to the Volvo.

"Thanks. I just need to get a new car, I guess. No matter how much Rose works on it it is still a piece of junk." I crossed my arms over my chest and sulked. I heard him laugh at that.

"That is saying something considering Rose is probably the best there is when it comes to cars. Well, until you get a new one I can give you a ride." He smiled his crooked smile and I blushed.

"Thanks." By now, we were parked in the lot in front of the school. I had started to rain a few minutes prior, but it had picked up considerably. I put my hood on my head and walked as fast as my clumsy legs would go to Theater.

~!~!~!~

By the end of the day I was exhausted. As soon as I saw my bed, I collapsed and fell into a deep, undisturbed slumber.

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**Another chapter done! I needed to add some teenaged drama and awkward-ness, just to spice it up.**

**So, what do you think? Review! And I MEAN review. I need need need some feedback!**

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	10. Chapter 10: Double Trouble

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 10: Double Trouble

**A/N: It's the tenth chapter!**

**This one is probably my favorite so far. Just get ready to hate a certain someone. I do believe that is where the M rating comes into play.**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight. Sad Panda**

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It was nearing the end of February, which meant it was almost Valentine's Day which, in turn, meant Alice would be going crazy. She was all about any kind of holiday worthy of shopping for. That was not necessarily good for me.

Another thing that was making the whole month just horrible was Mike Newton. He needed to die. Well, not really, but he was a creep and never left me alone. Whenever were in class, he would not stop staring at me. And he constantly asked me out over the weekends. You would think the first ten times I said no he would get the point, but he is just so dense!

The night before Valentine's Day, I went to talk to Rose and Alice about it to see what they would do if they were in my situation.

"Just punch him. It always gets the message across." Rose said plainly while filing her nails. She was always so calm about the most irrational things.

"I'm starting to think that maybe Rose's unorthodox methods might be the right way to go since this has been going on for a while. What has it been, a month? Almost two? It started right after your first day in January, right?" I nodded. "So I say do it."

"But I am not a violent person." I looked down, contemplating a different, yet effective, approach to the situation.

"I think I can figure it out tonight. Thanks you guys." I hugged them both and went to my room, immediately falling asleep.

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The whole drive to school with Edward, I thought about what I would do. I could feel him looking at me, curiously, wondering what was wrong with me. I just sighed and looked out the window.

For the past few weeks, Edward drove me to and from school every day until I had enough money accumulated to buy a trustworthy car. It had been nice, but I couldn't help but feel a slight awkwardness between us still. It was slightly unnerving.

"Same time and place after school?" I started at his voice, causing him to chuckle. I glared at him before nodding and leaving his car.

The day was going by oddly fast, even for a Friday. But I was glad, nonetheless. I ran out of gym and walked to where the group was waiting.

"Hey Bella! How was your day? Any sign of you-know-who?" Alice and Rosalie looked around and I shook my head. It was really weird. Mike hadn't said a thing to me all day. I took that as a good sign and that he finally got the hint.

"Haven't heard a peep all day." I smiled widely as Emmet and Jasper tuned in.

"Who are you talking about Bells?" Emmet had unknowingly started calling me Bells a few days after I moved in. It reminded me of Charlie, but I didn't mind.

"Mike Newton was bothering her to death." Rosalie explained.

"Really? Well if her keeps it up let me know and I will take him out for you. No one messes with my little sis." He flexed his muscles, causing an eruption of laughter to fill the parking lot. I looked up at him and smiled, willing the traitor tears to go away. I had never had anyone so willing to protect me in my whole life; it was heartwarming. I walked up to him to encompass him in a tight hug. He seemed shocked at first, but hugged me back, chuckling all the while.

"Well aren't we emotional." He said. I laughed and hugged him tighter.

"Shut up, you're ruining the moment." I stepped away and smiled.

"Well, is Eddie taking you home today?"I nodded.

"Okay then. See you at home, squirt." He ruffled my hair and stepped into the passenger seat of Rose's convertible. I watched as all four sped away towards home. Now I just had to wait.

~!~!~!~

After waiting a half hour, I decided it was time to start walking. I was livid. So much so I was talking to myself as I walked along the road.

"The nerve of him! I swear when he gets home…he will get a piece of my mind." I heard a sound to the left of me, sounding like a twig breaking in the forest. I felt all my muscles tense up, then release when I convinced myself it was all in my mind.

"I'm so mad I am having hallucinations. Great! Now I can be crazy." When I heard a much louder sound I stopped dead in my tracks. That was not imagination. I was looking into the trees to see if I could find anything when I felt a hand cover my mouth, making me scream.

"Now Bella, no one can hear you so there really is no use for that." Despite Mike's words, I screamed even louder and thrashed around. He gripped my arm with his other hand while putting more pressure on my mouth. I didn't know what to do at all, so I kept thrashing and eventually felt a sting of tears fall down my face.

I felt him lay me down on the ground, covering me with nearly his whole body. I tried to squirm away but he was too strong. When I felt his hand make its way up my shirt I screamed again, hoping I would be heard by someone. My shirt was almost completely off when I gave up. No one could hear me and the only people that took this road were already at home. I felt totally helpless.

Mike felt his way down my body lower and lower until he finally pushed two fingers inside me. It hurt. A lot. And I couldn't help but scream from it all. I felt like I was on fire and I couldn't put it out. I felt disgusting and it was like all that I had to live for was just being thrown away. Just like that. The tears were rolling freely down my cheeks by then and I wasn't going to stop them.

That was when I heard tires screech not too far off.

Mike immediately stood and tried to run, but a tall figure had already reached him and threw his arm out, ready to punch him square in the face. I heard a crack that made my whole body tremble.

As the figure got closer, I could slightly make out more of his features. He was really tall, but that could have been because I was lying on the ground. He was extremely pale and had bright, worried, green eyes that were staring back at me.

Edward.

"Bella!" Once he recognized me, he ran forward and picked me up. "Bella I am so sorry. This is my entire fault. I knew I shouldn't have gone. Please forgive me, Bella. Are you okay?" He looked on the verge of tears. It made my heart ache for him.

"I-I don't know. Can you take me to see Carlisle?" He nodded and sped off in the direction of home.

I could see the pain in his eyes when I looked over to him. "Edward, it's okay. Don't blame yourself. I should have gotten a ride or called someone. It was stupid to walk." He looked at me like I was crazy.

"Bella, no. It was my fault. I knew I had to drive you home today and forgot. I got in a fight with Tanya and completely lost track of time. I am so sorry." He hesitantly reached over and took my hand. I squeezed his in reassurance.

"Please don't blame yourself, Edward." He dint put up a fight that time, but he didn't say accept what I was saying either.

When the house came in to view, Carlisle and Esme were on the porch waiting, pacing holes in the paneling.

Edward opened my door and picked me up, bridal style, and walked me over to Carlisle. He looked angry and concerned and relieved all at the same time.

"What happened, Edward?" He looked at him sternly and then to me. "Bella?" I shook my head as I was passed from Edward to Carlisle.

"Don't blame Edward." I whispered. Carlisle looked confused, but carried me into the house anyway.

On our way up the stairs, we passed Emmet and Alice. They took one look at me and both got livid expressions on their faces. What surprised me though was the fact that Emmet was the first to speak. And it was frightening.

"EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN WHAT DID YOU DO?!" He and Alice both stormed down the stairs together, both furious.

"Carlisle, please don't put this all on Edward. It was really my own fault." I blushed and looked down, realizing I was still crying.

"I have to know what happened first to be able to rightfully punish someone." He took me to my room and turned on all the lights after laying me down. I felt really sore and tired, but I tried to put on a brave face.

"Okay. What happened?" He sat down next to me and felt around my face and collar bone, probably assessing the bruises there.

"Well, okay. I was waiting for Edward after school and when he didn't show up for a while I decided to walk. I figured he had to stay after or something so I didn't think it was that big of a deal. When I was about halfway home I started to hear some noises so I looked around but didn't find anything. Then I felt someone cover my mouth and I tried to get away but he was to strong. I kept thrashing around hoping Mike would let me go but he didn't and he tried to...but he…then Edward came and punched him and I guess he passed out and here we are." I knew it all came out a bit jumbled but I knew he understood.

"So Mike Newton tried to rape you." He looked really angry; an emotion I had yet to see on Carlisle.

"Yes." I looked down and let my tears fall. Carlisle pulled me into a tight hug, allowing my sobs to rake my whole body. When I had calmed down considerably, he began.

"I know it might be hard to do, but I need to know the extent of the damage inflicted on you so I know what to do for you." He looked hesitant.

"Okay. First he was just really rough on me, feeling me everywhere. But then he…" I took a deep breath and Carlisle nodded. "He put his fingers inside me and it hurt a lot. That was as far as he got, though." I couldn't meet his eyes, I felt so ashamed.

"I need to examine you to make sure you're okay. Is that alright Bella?" I nodded and smiled at him.

"Do whatever you need to Carlisle." He nodded once and left the room, to get equipment I assumed. I heard the door open again and turned to find a distraught looking Esme who, as soon as our eyes met, ran over to me and hugged me fiercely. I hugged her back and patted her back.

"I'm fine, really mom, don't worry." As soon as I realized what I said, I tensed up and pulled back from her, looking away.

"I'm sorry Esme; I didn't mean to say it." She put her thumb and forefinger under my chin and made me look at her.

"Don't be sorry, honey. I would love for you to call me mom. I feel like you are my own daughter. I love you so much." She hugged me again before standing. I quickly took her hand.

"Would you mind…umm…you don't have to, but…?" She sat back down and started to stroke my hair.

"I don't mind staying, honey." I smiled at her just as Carlisle re-entered the room. He sat at the edge of the bed, at my feet, and put a comforting hand on my ankle.

"I'll try to make this as painless as possible." I nodded and laid flat. "Can you spread your legs a little Bella?" I complied. "Good, Bella. Now I am going to tell you everything I am doing, okay?" I nodded again and squeezed Esme's hand. "Okay. I am going to take off your underwear, okay?" He waited for my acknowledgement before he started.

"Okay." I squeaked. He pulled them down and stopped.

"I am going to check for and tears or cuts, okay?" I nodded. I felt him probing around, looking for anything abnormal. Whenever he hit a spot that felt especially sore, I would squeeze my eyes shut and grip Esme's hand, trying to alleviate the pain.

"Okay Bella, I am finished." I pulled on my underwear and sat up, awaiting his verdict. "You were very lucky Bella. There is minimal damage. Just a few scratches. You are going to be a little sore for a few days, but with some rest you will be just fine." I smiled widely at him and lunged forward to pull him into a hug.

"Thank you so much." I whispered to him so only he could hear. He pulled back and kissed my forehead.

"If you need anything at all, just call for me or Esme and we will be here." I nodded.

"Oh! Could you ask Edward if he can come to see me?" They both nodded before exiting. I lay back onto a pillow and sighed. What a day.

I heard a gentle knock at the door and immediately sat upright. "Come in." My voice sounded weak and raspy.

"Hey. Esme said you wanted to see me." Edward closed the door behind him and made his way to my bed. When he sat down, he was as far away from me as he could possibly get. I started to worry.

"Are you…mad at me?" I said. He looked bewildered.

"You just…and you think…me? Are you okay? _You_ should be the one mad at _me_, Bella. Why would you think I was mad at you?" He asked, confused.

"You are like, five feet away from me. I thought I did something wrong." His eyes widened and then he let out a breath. He moved so he was right next to me. I smiled. "Much better." I hugged him tight and started to cry. "Thank you so much, Edward. I don't know what would have happened if you didn't come and save me." I was sobbing into the crook of his neck, no doubt staining his shirt. "Sorry, I'm ruining your shirt." Laughed a little. And pulled away.

"It's okay Bella. I'm just glad you're okay." He smiled his crooked smile at me. "I still feel horrible though. If I had just let Tanya at school, or on the side of the road, or in a ditch, where she belongs, then this wouldn't have happened." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"What happened? If you don't mind me asking, that is." I blushed but held his gaze. He sighed again.

"Well right after school I went to go find her to see if she needed a ride or whatever but she wasn't at our usual meeting spot so I looked around. Well when I found her at the back of the school she was making out with James. Then we fought and I broke up with her. I guess Alice was right all along. I will probably never live this down." He shook his head and looked down. I could tell he had tears in his eyes, which was really odd to see.

I pulled him to me and tried to comfort him.

"Its okay, Edward. She didn't deserve you if she was only with you for one thing. You deserve so much better than that. I know you will find that in someone one of these days." He pulled away from me to look into my eyes, his slightly bloodshot. I smiled and stood from the bed, pulling him with me.

"Come on. Let's go downstairs with everyone else." He nodded and followed me down, making sure I didn't fall.

"They are all mad at me, you know. I don't know if they even want to see me yet. Especially Emmet. He loves you more than me, you know." He laughed at that and I joined him.

"He will be fine. They all will." As we rounded the corner to the living room, I was bombarded with arms trying to hug me.

"Bella are you okay? God I swear I am going to kill that bastard." Rose was the first to speak, but Alice was the first to get her arms around me. It felt like she was sobbing into my chest.

"Alice? Are you okay?" She looked up at me, lost. Then she turned to Edward, who was directly beside me.

"She had been asking that a lot." He said and shrugged. Alice just glared at him.

"Alice. Everyone. Don't blame him, it wasn't his fault nor was he the one to do it, so lay off him, okay?" The room got quiet for a minute before I heard Emmet.

"How are we not going to be mad at him Bella? He just ditched you! And look at what happened!" I pulled Alice off of me and went to Emmet.

"Emmet. Relax, okay? I am just fine." He was sitting in the middle of the long, black leather couch to I stood directly in front of him. He had none of that. He pulled me onto his lap and hugged me. I was getting a lot of hugs lately, I thought.

"Emmet," I whispered so no one else could hear me. "Edward was fighting with Tanya while I was walking and they broke up so please don't give him a hard time. Please? For me?" I looked at him with, pleading as he took in the information.

"Well it's about damn time. And sure, Bells, I'll _try_." He smiled at me, making his dimples show prominently.

"Thank you." I stood up and, not to my surprise, tripped. I covered my face to shield it from the impact with the floor, but two strong arms caught me by the waist before I could fall. I Once I was standing strait, I turned to see Jasper smiling at me.

"Thanks Jasper. I really don't know how I am still alive with how much I fall." He pulled me into a hug and whispered, "Are you really okay?" I thought for a moment and looked back at him, smiling.

"I am now that I'm home." His smile grew.

"Okay, who wants to help me make dinner?" I asked. Everyone looked at me with a blank stare and I shrugged. "Okay. Whatever. I see no one wants to so I will just get to choose what we all eat." I smiled and made my way into the kitchen, where Esme was already sitting at the bar looking at recipes.

"Hello Bella. What can I do for you?"

"Well, I was wondering if I could make dinner tonight. I haven't cooked in so long, I feel like I might forget how." I laughed a little while she just looked at me, a little lost, just as the others had.

Alice was suddenly in the room looking a little cautious, whispering something to Esme. She just nodded and left the room, kissing my forehead before departing.

"Are you helping, Alice? I thought you said you hated to cook?"

"Bella, you're in shock. You were just almost raped and you want to cook dinner for everyone? Are you okay? Really?" I just looked at her.

"I am perfectly fine, Alice. And I am not in shock. I know what just happened but I also know that I can't change it so I am moving on with my life. Now. Chicken or Beef?" I searched around the refrigerator for a minute, looking at its contents, when I felt Alice's small arms wrap around my waist.

"I was so scared. I didn't know what happened to you or if you were okay." I turned around to see her crying, again, into my chest. I pulled her closer to me and tried to reassure her that everything was okay.

"I'm fine Alice, just fine. And I am here. Please don't cry." She looked up at me then, a little better than before.

"I know. And I'm so glad. I didn't want to lose my sister when I just got her."

"You didn't. And you won't. Ever. I'm here to stay." And I meant it. I was finally home here. She pulled away from me, appeased, and opened the refrigerator.

"So I'm thinking chicken…"

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**Another chapter done! **

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**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	11. Chapter 11: Revival

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 11: Revival

**A/N: ELEVENTH CHAPTER!!!**

**I am really proud of my headway with this. It's starting to come along nicely. Hope you have been enjoying it!**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight. Sad Panda**

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For the next week, I was bored to death. I had been strictly advised to stay home to rest and recover, but I felt fine. Carlisle assured me it was just an extra precaution, though, so that made it a little more bearable.

Edward and I had gotten a little closer the days following the incident. I was glad, to, because he always seemed like he was hesitant around me. But not anymore. He would come and talk to me in my room for hours, just discussing whatever. But I had gotten kind of worried about him lately. He sort of sulked around the house whenever I saw him. So I decided to ask him about it Wednesday night. He was finishing up his homework and I was closing the book I had been reading.

"Hey Edward…?" He looked up from him textbook, waiting.

"Yeah?"

"Have you been…okay, lately?" He looked confused.

"What do you mean? I'm fine." He looked down to the carpet before I could answer.

"I've noticed you have been a little out of it lately. I just wanted to let you know that I am here for you if you want to talk about anything." I gave him an encouraging smile before standing to leave.

"It's just…well; I know it's stupid, but…never mind." He shook his head, dismissing his previous thoughts. I sat back down on the couch in the secluded study.

"You can tell me." I tried to comfort him by putting my hand on his shoulder, at which he visibly relaxed and sighed.

"I saw Tanya the other day and she was with James. It just struck a nerve I guess, knowing that everyone was right about her. I didn't even see it coming." He ran his hand through his already unruly hair and took a deep breath. "And I have been thinking a lot about my parents lately." When I looked at him, confused, he clarified. "My biological ones." I nodded, understanding. I had completely forgotten that all of the kids in the house were adopted. "But I feel horrible. Like I am the worst son ever, for missing them when I have Carlisle and Esme. They were the ones who abandoned me and yet, I can't find it in my heart to hate them." His eyes showed so much pain, I wanted to reach over and hug him but I didn't know if he wanted me to. "Has anyone told you the story?" I shook my head. He smiled. "That was considerate of them. Well, I grew up in Chicago. My family and I didn't have a lot of money and struggled a lot. It got so bad that my mother was working at a strip club and my father was doing god knows what. But one day, a few months after I turned twelve, we suddenly got up and left the city. I asked why, but all they said was, "Its adult business, don't worry." But I did worry. Constantly. I did whatever I could for money," I felt my eyes widen in disbelief. He seemed to understand. "Nothing like that, Bella. But I worked around the new apartment complex where ever someone needed me. It was rough, but I had to do it.

"Then, after I turned thirteen, my parents' activities grew more suspicious. They started taking me places with them and talking about me with different people. I had no idea what was going on, even after they left me with one of the women my mother worked with. She took me to her home and said that my parents had sold me to her. She said I was going to work for her. At the time, I was sad. I didn't know why they had abandoned me. But all that turned to anger. I hated them for what they did to me and how I was living. Well, the women, Charlene, made me work hard. I barely ate and didn't go to school. After three months of it, I couldn't take it and just ran away." He stopped to take a deep breath and look up at me to gauge my reaction. I was just staring at him, eyes wide and mouth agape.

"I went straight to the police. They turned me over to child services who then put me into foster care. I was one of the lucky ones, though. I met Carlisle and Esme first and they took me in. It's still hard to believe they wanted me and I guess you could say I have trust issues. But one thing that loses me is that it has only been a little more than three years since all this happened and my life has changed so much. I have never told anyone that much of my story. Not even Carlisle or Esme. And we are really close." His eyebrows furrowed and he looked into my eyes, causing my breath to hitch. I couldn't contain myself any longer, so I threw myself at him and openly sobbed.

"I am so sorry Edward. So sorry you had to go through that. I'm so, so sorry." At first he was shocked and uncertain about what to do, but after a few moments he wrapped his arms around my waist. I felt a few tears slide down his face, but I didn't say anything. I just held onto him.

"It's okay. I am passed it now. But thank you." I looked up at him with my eyes, no doubt, puffy and swollen from my blubbering.

"For what?" I hadn't done anything but ruin his shirt, so I had no idea why he was thanking me.

"For listening." He smiled his smiled and hugged me again before standing up. "Are you feeling okay?" Topic change, much?

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I looked over to him to find that he had a slight blush on his cheeks and he was avoiding my gaze.

"Well, I didn't know if you were still…umm, sore, from the incident." He looked so guilty; I had to make that look disappear from his eyes.

"A little," I said, blushing. "But I am okay. I am going to go back to school tomorrow to. And please stop blaming yourself; I thought we were past that?" I put my hand on his forearm, trying to coax him into looking at me so I could understand what he was feeling.

When he finally turned around, he was smiling. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"We are. But I am sorry." I nodded at him and sat back down on the couch. Then I remembered what I wanted to ask after the incident.

"Edward, how much did you see that day?" He looked stunned at my question, but I didn't back down.

"Not much. Just him on top of someone. I didn't even know it was you until he was unconscious. Why?"

"Well, I didn't know if Carlisle told you the extent of the damage or not and I didn't want you to feel bad about something that might not have even happened." His gaze lowered to the floor.

"Well, no he didn't tell me, He said that if I wanted to know then I would have to ask you about it when you were ready." I nodded. I would have to thank Carlisle for that later.

"If you want to know I'll tell you. All you have to do is ask. It isn't that big of a deal to me anymore." And it wasn't. Also, the thought of talking about it to Edward was oddly comforting.

"Will you tell me?" I saw his blush rise again and I laughed.

"Have a seat." I patted the spot next to me and began.

~!~!~!~

We were still sitting on the small loveseat in the study when I finished my short story. I looked up to Edward to see what he was feeling. My mistake.

He looked positively livid.

"Edward…? Breath for me, okay?" He nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm himself down.

"I'm going to kill him." He stood abruptly and walked a few paces. I grabbed his arm to hinder him from going any further.

"No! Edward, please don't hurt him. Violence isn't the answer to anything. I know that better than anyone." I looked down, willing the tears not to spill over.

"Bella…what do you mean?" I sighed and pulled him down for the third time on the couch and began again.

"Do you know why I am even here?" He looked confused.

"I don't understand." He shook his head, frustrated.

"I ran away. I came here to live with Charlie because things at home were…not that great. Ever since my mother met her new husband, Phil, they had taken to beating me. There wasn't ever a real reason, just that they both loved to do it. It started a few months ago in August. I didn't think much of it because Renee was with a different guy every month or so. But when he proposed…I knew things weren't going to get any better. Renee had hit me my whole life but it was nothing like with Phil. I had bruises for weeks. I still do." I lifted the side of my shirt to show him the worst of my bruises. He gasped, lightly touching the fading spot.

"It doesn't hurt that much anymore. But anyway, A few weeks ago, Carlisle called the house and told me Phil asked about the quickest way to render someone unconscious. He always said he was going to give me what I deserved but I got scared and booked it. I took myself out of school, quit my job, and drove here right away." I let out a long breath, glad to have finally told someone about what was going on.

"Bella…I'm so sorry." He encompassed me into a tight hug and for once, I wasn't crying. I smiled into his chest.

"Thank you. And it's okay. I am so grateful now. I have all of you and I feel more at home here in this short time than I ever did with Renee."

"That's good. I'm glad you're here, Bella." I looked up at him and felt my smile intensify tenfold.

"Me too." I sighed from the immense amount of happiness coursing through me at the moment and stood, hopefully for the last time. "Hungry?" I asked and he nodded, laughing.

"Let's go."

~!~!~!~

I was dreading school. It wasn't even the Mike factor. I had Emmet, Jasper and Edward there to protect me. It was the others I was worried about.

All the damn gossip.

So the Monday after Edward and I had had our little chat, I was sitting in Edward's Volvo trying to mentally prepare myself for the day ahead of me. It wasn't working.

"They are all going to stare at me and whisper. God. Whispering is way worse than yelling in my ear most of the time. Why am I here again?" I had turned to a smirking Edward and was freaking out.

"Because you can do this." He stated simply. I breathed out and opened the passenger side door to get out.

"You are _no_ help at all. But I guess I can try, But if I end up crying in one of the stalls in the girls bathroom by the end of the day, I will blame you." He simply laughed and put his arm around my shoulder, walking us over to where the rest of the group was.

"So tell me again, Bella, _why, _he is allowed here?" Emmet was whispering in my ear, trying not to make a scene in front of anyone. He was the one who was most upset about my decision not to press charges against Mike.

"He took quite a beating, which was payment enough. And before you say it, yes it was. Now, let's all go to class before we're late. I have people to avoid." They all snickered at me before we separated. That improved my mood a little.

When I had successfully gotten through the first half of the day without any stares or comments, I figured Mike hadn't said anything to anyone so I was in a particularly good mood by lunch. The guys gave me questioning looks, but Alice and Rose just seemed to be happy that I was feeling better.

"What's got into you?" Emmet finally broke the comfortable silence we were all sharing by probing.

"Well if you must know, no one has said a thing or given me any strange looks so I am practically on top of the world!" I felt my ever- present smile intensify with my words, making the group have smiles of their own.

"Is that all it takes? What would happen if we, oh, I don't know, bought you a present?" Edward asked casually. I shot him a warning glare. Everyone knew I hated when people spent money on me.

"Then I would be eternally grateful and immeasurably happy but would not accept because you all know damn well I don't like people spending money on me." I said, finality in my voice.

"I was just speaking hypothetically, Bella. No need to get all worked up." We all laughed at that right as the warning bell rung.

"Ready for Biology, Eddie?" He glared at the nickname he loathed, but smiled and waved a hand in front of him.

"Ladies first."

"Why thank you kind sir." I giggled quietly as he caught up with me and we waved to the rest of the group. As we walked down the hallway to our classroom, we talked animatedly and laughed, but I could feel the jealous stares of girls as we got closer to Mr. Banner's room.

_So I _don't _get stared at for being molested on the side of the road by Mike Newton, but I _do _get glared at for walking down the hallway with Edward Cullen? Figures. _I thought wryly to myself.

When Biology was over, I reluctantly made my way to gym, where I would have to endure the _real _torture.

I dressed quickly and sat patiently on the bleachers next to Angela to await the pain. At the sound of the doors slamming shut, Coach Gaddie looking fierce in front of them, I started, causing Angela to laugh quietly.

"That is so not funny. She scares the hell out of me." I whispered to her. She rolled her eyes playfully.

"She scares everyone." She stated simply as I gaped at her. Just as I was about to really get into it with her though, the Coach began her tirade.

"Okay children, today we will begin our rotation of 'A Healthier You' which involves Palates, Yoga, Tae Bo, and a closer look at what you are really putting into your body when you eat. Now, everyone change out so we can get started!"

I looked over to Angela, my hope restored. "Thank goodness. That doesn't sound too bad. I might actually live through this!" We were in the locker rooms by now and had gone our separate ways to change. I wouldn't say that I am modest to an extreme, but there is something about having to change in front of a class full of girls who are so confident in how their bodies look that just makes me nervous. I didn't think I was ugly, but I didn't think I had this amazing body that needed to be paraded around half naked all of the time. The same could not be said for Jessica Stanly, one of the glare-ers, as I called them. She was their leader, the one whose icy gaze I could feel burning through my back at that very moment.

"So Bella. What's with you and Edward Cullen?" She was blunt, I'd give her that.

"What do you mean?" I tried the innocent thing. She saw right through it.

"Don't try and pretend like you have no idea what I mean. Everyone saw you waking with him this morning. I just want to ask what no one else will. What is going on?" She looked like she could pounce on me is she wasn't in a room full of on lookers.

"Look, Jessica, I am just staying with Dr. Cullen until I graduate. He is nice enough to let me be there and I'm not going to say no when I am practically homeless. And nothing is going on between me and Edward. He is like a brother to me."

I felt like crying by the end of my little rant and wondered why I had told her so much anyway. She didn't deserve to know. I was glad that she looked completely taken aback and speechless.

"Okay." With that, she turned her back to me and left the locker room, leaving me an emotional wreck huddled on the small wooden bench by the wall. I was alone again, and for that I was thankful. I could change in peace now. After I thought this, however, I gave a wry laugh. _I can sure clear a room, can't I?_

As we went through the procedures and rules and blah blah blah of the rotation of 'A Healthier You', we started the yoga section, which I found oddly relaxing. I didn't want to stop, even when Coach Gaddie blew the whistle signaling the end of class.

"Okay we will continue this next class. Change out!" We all made out way back to the locker rooms to change and I realized I had to pee. Bad. So I ran to take care of my business. When I got back, though, the locker room was clear of anyone. I smiled to myself at my turn of luck and stripped off my shirt, halfway to my designated locker. Then I heard footsteps. I figured it was just one of the girls coming to get something she forgot. That is, until a hand snaked around my waist.

"Hello again, Bella." Before I could muster up enough energy for a scream, Mike had me pinned against the cold brick wall, his hand clamped over my mouth.

" Now, now Bella if you scream, I will hurt you. We don't want that do we?" I shook my head, eyes already full of tears. "Good. You weren't such a good girl last time, were you? I just wonder if you really are so much of a martyr that you convinced everyone that nothing happened that day. Technically, nothing did happen. I wanted you. So bad. From the moment I saw you." At this point, I knew he would be going on for a while so with my one free hand, I slowly pulled my cell phone out and pressed 4, calling Edward. I hoped with everything I had that it wouldn't make any noise. "But you always avoided me; always said no. I knew I couldn't wait forever, so here we are. And I _will_ have you. Right now." He reached back to rip off my bra and continued to feel any part of my within his reach. I tried to struggle, but I knew it was no use. When his hand left my mouth, though, I tried to plead with him.

"Mike, please…don't do this to me. Just stop now." It was barely a whisper, but he heard it. And he laughed.

"Oh Bella. I want you. And I always get what I want. No matter what." He had my gym shorts off, as well as my underwear, now and I was shaking, almost to the point of convulsion. He lowered us both to the ground and straddled me. "Relax baby." He pushed his fingers inside me, making me gasp. "Good. Still a virgin. Aren't you glad I get to be the one to stretch you out?" I began to sob at this realization and shut my eyes, willing myself away from the situation. I could hear him taking his shorts off and that made me open my eyes. I needed a way out.

"Spread your legs." Mike commanded. He sounded gentle, but I knew it was just a ruse to get me to cooperate. When I didn't comply, however, he got rough. He put his hands on both of my knees and spread them as far as they could go. "Come on, Bella. I can make you feel good. No need to fight it anymore. I know you want this." I shook my head, but that seemed to only push him further. He positioned himself at my entrance and paused. "I can make this easy for you or I can make you wish you were dead. Which will it be?" I didn't want to look at him, let alone speak, but I knew the more cooperated at this point, the better it would be for me later.

"Easy." I whispered. He chuckled. He put his hands on my hips and began to push into me. I didn't feel any pain until he had been pushing for a few seconds. That made me cry out.

"Now, now Bella, I haven't even really entered you. Keep that pretty little mouth of yours shut." I closed my eyes and began to do something I had never done before.

I began to pray.

_Please, help me. Send me a sign that this will all be over. Send me an angel._

Right then, the door to the locker room burst open and footsteps were all around me. I couldn't see them, nor did I hear them. I blocked everything out and just tucked my body into itself.

"Bella?" I stiffened at the velvety voice saying my name. "It's only me. You're okay now. I promise. Do you want me to go?" I immediately lifted my head from my lap to search for his eyes. When I found them, I began to sob. "Bella? What can I do? I don't know. Maybe I _should_ go…"

"No!" I pulled him to me into a fierce hug. "Please don't leave me." He relaxed and sat on the ground from his crouched position next to me.

"Don't worry. I won't." I felt him drape his coat over me and I shivered, fully realizing that I was naked in front of Edward.

"Oh my god! Turn around!" He looked confused at first, then blushed when he understood. When he was facing the opposite direction, I grabbed my underwear and shorts and quickly put them on. Next, I found my bra, but the clasp was broken so I gave up on that and threw it away. I looked around for my shirt, but could not find it anywhere. I started to get frustrated, then anxious, and finally, embarrassed. I couldn't just walk out of the school half naked! And just in case the situation wasn't bad already, Jasper decided to walk into to locker room the moment I didn't have my arms covering my chest. Before he turned and saw me, though, I covered myself as much as I could with my arms.

"Hey Jasper…" He finally saw me and blushed. Blushed! I would have laughed if I weren't so exposed.

"Bella, you don't have a shirt on." He said. I had to laugh at that.

"I know. I can't find it." I looked at him carefully and saw he had on about three layers. He seemed to know what I was thinking.

"Could I borrow one of your shirts Jasper?" He smiled and took of his black button up and handed it to me. It was huge, but I rolled up the sleeves and tied the bottom. I walked over and pulled him into a hug.

"Thank you." He seemed reluctant at first, but recovered quickly and hugged me to him.

"Anything for my little sister." I looked up at him and smiled. He didn't know how much that meant to me. "So where's Edward?" I gasped and pulled away, immediately rounding the corner and finding him there, smiling at me.

"Sorry I forgot you back here." I took his hand and began to walk out the door.

"No problem. So, you have Jasper in the palm of your hand now." I looked at him, confused. I had no idea what he meant. He simply smiled and looked forward.

"I'll tell you when we get home." I shrugged, not sure what to think, when a sudden surge of pain swept through me. I felt my knees buckle and the rest of my body shake.

"Bella! Are you okay? What's wrong?" I looked up at him briefly, muttering one word before falling into the darkness.

"Carlisle."

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**Another chapter done! **

**Soooo, this one was pretty good, I think. It's the start of new relationships. Yay!**

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**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	12. Chapter 12: Contradicting the Cont

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 12: Contradicting the Contradiction

**A/N: Here is the twelfth chapter!!!**

**I can't believe it's already March! Goodness the time does fly!**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight. Shenanigans**

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When I awoke, I knew that I could be completely sure of two things.

First, I was in my room. I had already broken in my bed and had it feel embedded into my body.

Second, I needed to see Edward or Jasper to find out what happened.

"Hello?" I spoke, quieter than I expected. I cleared my throat and prepared to speak again, but heard a soft knock on the door. "Come in."

"How are you doing, Bella?" Edward, Jasper, and Emmet walked in, looking solemn and angry. In Emmet's case, it was angrier.

"I'm okay. Come and sit, you guys. I wanted to talk to you actually." They all walked over to the bed, a bit hesitantly I might add, and sat around me.

"What can we do ya for, darlin?" I heard Jasper's southern drawl creep its way out into our presence, making me smile.

"I wanted to know what happened. I blocked it out and then I fainted. I just want to know what you did to Mike, I guess." Emmet visibly tensed at Mike's name.

"He is in jail now." I opened my mouth to say something, but Emmet interjected.

"He is where he belongs, Bells. You can't fight us about this. No one does…hurts my baby sister and gets away with it." He looked so serious; I had to nod in agreement.

"I was going to say thank you. All of you. I can't imagine what would have happened if…just, thank you. I love you guys." I pulled them all into a hug and felt content, complete even, in their arms.

"We would do anything for you, Bells. Just ask and we will be there." I pulled back and wiped the unshed tears in my eyes.

"Where is Carlisle? I wanted to ask him something kinda important." I stood up feeling a little dizzy, but they seemed to understand what I meant and stood to leave. I grabbed Edward's sleeve before he could get too far, though.

"Can I talk to you for a minute before I go searching for Carlisle?" He nodded.

"I know it might sound really odd for me to sound so modest after all I have endured, but I just wanted to ask if you saw me naked. I wouldn't hold it against you or anything, but I just wanted to know." I decided to stop being a baby about it and look up at him to see his reaction. He didn't look mad or embarrassed. Just confused.

"No. I mean, I saw you curled up, but I didn't see anything. I was only looking at your face. I wouldn't put you in that position." I smiled at him.

"I know. Thank you." I whispered the last bit, feeling drained and just wanting to see Carlisle and go back to sleep.

"He said he would check on you at around 7:30." He seemed to understand what was going on in my head better than I did, so I nodded and went back to my bed, knowing Carlisle would be coming soon.

"Thank you Edward. I owe you my life. Again." I laughed quietly at that. He had saved me twice and all I was doing was making the whole family uncomfortable. I was nothing but trouble.

"Like we all said before; I'll do anything for family." He gave me his half smile before leaving the room, only to be replaced by Carlisle.

"How are you?" His expression confused me. It was somewhere between anger, concern, and sadness.

"I'm fine. And you?" He looked stupefied at my retort, but replied nonetheless.

"Just fine, Bella. Now, I know this will be hard for you, even though it isn't the first time," He gulped at that. "But I need to examine you again and you need to tell me what he did to you." I smiled at him and patted the spot in front of me. He looked weary but sat in the place I designated.

"Bella…are you sure you're okay? I think you might be in shock." I tilted my head to the side and looked at him, confused.

"I feel fine. Are you not telling me something, Carlisle?" He shook his head and continued.

"No, Bella. It's just, I would assume after being raped one would be more wary of people, especially only a few hours after the incident. And how you reacted to Jasper in the locker room, the shirt, and having all the boys in here at once at such a close proximity…its astounding. You are very strong Bella." I shook my head.

"I'm not strong. I just feel safe with them. And I wasn't raped, he didn't…you know, do anything, I mean he said he was barely in me but I don't know if he was or not. It hurt so much, but I'm a virgin so I assumed it would hurt even if he wasn't in me yet." I was very aware that I was rambling but I couldn't stop myself. "And I didn't mean to make Jasper uncomfortable by taking his shirt. I guess I could have asked Edward, but he walked in and I was half naked and I wanted to get out of there and I don't know…" I took a deep breath.

"Bella. You are strong. The strongest person I have ever met, in fact. And I know you can get through this."

"If you say so."

"I do. So let's get started." I nodded and laid back, allowing him access to me.

"Bella, can I ask you a question?" He was feeling around my pelvis and it was starting to hurt. I was grateful for the distraction. I would really need it for when he really started to examine me.

"Shoot." I kept my breaths even as I awaited his question.

"Why didn't you go to the police about Mike the first time? Weren't you worried he would do something like this?" He sounded so sad, I couldn't lie.

"I was scared, I guess. I don't really have a good reason. But the one that keeps popping up in my head is that when Edward beat him up, he looked like he was going die. I didn't want him to have to go to jail on top of that. I suppose it's like he said, I'm just too much of a martyr to put myself before others." He never stopped working on me, but he did pause a moment or so as I explained.

"Well, you are a very selfless, caring, and nurturing young woman." He smiled at me from the bottom of the bed and I smiled back.

"Thank you, Carlisle. For everything. For letting me stay here and looking after me, not to mention putting up with all my trouble. I feel like I will never be able to repay you for all you have done for me." I was crying now and I couldn't stop. He stopped what he was doing and looked to me with surprise in his eyes.

"You don't have to repay me or the family Bella. We are doing this because we all love and care for you. And you are no trouble at all so don't think you cause us any. In fact, you are the most well behaved child in the house." We both laughed at that.

"Well I am still eternally grateful to you and Esme. I don't know where I would I be if not for you."

"It's no problem at all, Bella. We all feel like we have gained a daughter and sister." My emotions were taking over now. I couldn't control my tears and was sobbing uncontrollably.

"You have no idea…how long I have waited to hear something like that from someone who means it. I love you all so much." I shot up and into his arms, gripping for dear life onto his shoulders.

"We all love you to. _I_ love you." That made me cry all the more, but I felt like I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. I had been fighting with my emotions for a long time and I was drained. I got one sentence out before I fell into a deep, calming sleep, though.

"I love you to dad."

~!~!~!~

Pain is a cold, evil, bitch. That was the first thing I thought as I awoke the next morning, feeling nothing but pain everywhere. I looked down to my forearms and saw the now dark, purple, hand shaped bruises, making me wonder what other parts of my body were bruised and worn. At that thought, I felt disgustingly filthy. And it was the worst kind of filth; the kind that can't be washed away and disappear down a drain. But I still needed to scrub my body clean, so I gathered up all my courage and called for Esme.

No answer.

Next I called for Alice. I knew that she wanted to see me, even if it was only to dress me up and parade me around like a Barbie doll.

Still no answer.

I looked to my left to see a digital clock reading 1:27 p.m. Oh! It was Tuesday and everyone was either at school or work. I sighed, partly in relief, at the fact that I would be all alone in the huge house for a couple more hours. I decided to take a long bath.

I turned the water on felt for the right temperature. Nice and hot. When the tub was filled little more than half way, I turned the knobs completely over to stop the flow of water and stripped down to my birthday suit, When I sank into the steaming water, I felt all my muscles relax and I really started to feel the events of the previous day, and even the events of the previous weeks, start to weigh me down. How had I gotten myself into all this mess? I came here for a fresh start and look at what I had done. In record time, I might add!

I encroached on this wonderful family's space, brought them nothing but trouble and pain, and lastly, caused them to be inconvenienced. I felt horrid for my actions. Maybe Phil was right; I was a worthless girl who was only good for trouble. I sighed. I had thought baths were supposed to help people. I guess everything was backwards with me.

As I sat and thought about all the changes I had been through in my short time in Forks, I lost myself to my thoughts, so I didn't hear the soft know on the bathroom door or even the sound of shuffling feet coming towards me. But I did start at the feel a cold, gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Are you feeling well, Bella? Can I get you anything?" Esme's kind voice brought on a new onslaught of emotions for me. Guilt, pain, longing. It was all rushing through me as she awaited my answer.

"I'm fine, Esme. Can you just…stay? I don't want to be alone." I curled myself into an even tighter ball.

"Of course, honey. Do you need me to do anything?"

"Can you make this feeling go away?" I didn't know why I was asking her these things; usually I try to fend for myself, never letting anyone take care of me or see my weak side because I had to become a sort of mother figure for Renee my whole life. I was always taking care of other people. I wanted someone to take care of me for once.

"What do you mean, sweetie?" She looked confused, so I elaborated, already feeling the sting of fresh tears in my eyes.

"I feel disgusting. I can't scrub it away either. I don't know what to do." I hadn't shed a tear, but Esme had. She looked at me, helplessly, with tears streaming down her perfect face.

"Oh Bella…I don't know what to say to help. I can't even imagine the pain you have gone through, but if you want to talk about it, I'm always here." I simply nodded and looked forward.

"I didn't think the situation through enough. I should have known he would do the same thing again, but I didn't want anyone to suffer because of me. I still don't. And I feel horrible for putting you all through this. It makes me feel like the scum of the earth. But anyway, he surprised me in the locker room and attacked me. He…Carlisle said that technically, since there was no penetration, that he didn't rape me so that made me feel better. I don't know what I would have done if he had taken the last thing I truly wanted to keep." I dared a look at her to see she had a proud gleam in her eyes. I cocked my head to the side and started at her intently, hoping that the longer I looked at her expression, the better I would understand it. That didn't work at all.

"You really are brave, dear." She gave me a loving smile.

"I'm really not. I just…" I couldn't finish. I didn't know what to say or even how I felt.

"Yes, you are. You have endured so much and yet you still put everyone else before you. I can't imagine a more wonderful person."

"Thank you, Esme. Um…" I looked down at my pruned fingertips, wondering how long I had been in the tub. "Can you help me out? I think if I stay in here any longer I will become permanently wrinkly." I gave her a smile and she gave me hers back, standing to grab a plushy white towel for me to use.

"Let's get you out of there. Are you hungry at all? You have been sleeping a long time. Oh! Carlisle said something about wanting to see you when he got home from work. He said not to worry." She smiled wider at me, obviously in on the big secret. I felt left out.

"Okay. Yes, I am kinda hungry. And what is going on? Are you two planning something?"

"No, dear. He just wants to talk to you." I breathed a sigh of relief, glad it wasn't anything major to worry about.

"Now…what to eat. How about homemade pizza? Want to help?" I nodded enthusiastically. I hadn't made myself a pizza in a long time.

"That sounds great." I felt myself relax as Esme and I started to work around the kitchen and before I knew it, we were both sitting at the dining room table and laughing at our misshapen pizzas.

"It kind of looks like a mushroom; but that would also be an insult to mushrooms around the world." I laughed, pointing at my sad excuse of a pizza.

"I can see that. At least yours has a shape though. Mine just looks like…well; I don't even know what to call this thing." I squinted at her pizza after I took a huge bite of mine and laughed.

"If you don't look out of your right eye and turn to the left a little it looks like a cat!" She followed my instructions; making it look way better than I did I bet.

"Oh goodness, it does. Well, how about that…" She bit off the cat's tail and chewed along with me. Only when we heard the sound of the garage door opening did we stop laughing long enough to form a sentence.

"Hey everyone! How was school? Do you have any homework?" Esme pulled the mom card and earned a groan from Rose and Emmet, while the rest of the group just piled into the kitchen and stared open mouthed at the scene in front of them.

"What's going on in here mom? Bella?" I shot Alice a glare at the careful way she said my name. I didn't need to be treated like a child.

"Cant a girl eat?" I said simply as I took a huge bite of my pizza. Alice and Edward stood shocked by the door while Jasper and Emmet walked over to me and smiled.

"Yes. Yes she can. And you know who else needs to eat Bells?" I looked to Emmet, who crouched down in front of me to meet my eyes. Jasper took Esme's seat who was now talking to Rose by the stairs.

"Is is you Em?"

"Yes! I knew you and Eddie were the smart ones." I looked over to Edward to see he was glaring daggers at Emmet. Well, at least it was a change from shocked and confused.

"Emmet, don't call me Eddie."

"Whatever. Thanks for the Mushroom shaped thing Bells!" As soon as I turned back to see if Emmet had really taken my pizza, he was already half way up the stairs with Rose in tow.

"Thanks Edward. Now I am minus a pizza. You owe me." I looked over to him and the confused look was back. I sighed. "How was school?" I noticed Alice had made her way upstairs with Jasper as well so Edward and I could speak freely without wandering ears.

"What do you really want to know?" Dang. My cover was blown. Abort! Abort!

"You know me too well."

"Quite the contrary, as proven today. Are you…okay? I didn't think dad was serious."

"You didn't answer my question first. You're dodging it. Something happened. What happened?" He chuckled lightly to himself before continuing. I glared.

"Nothing happened. How about we play 20 questions to get the information we want from each other, because you are insinuating ridiculous things and I bet I am to. What do you say?"

"Sure. Okay. You go first then."

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**Another chapter done! **

**The relationships are growing…still!!!**

**Tell me what you think everyone! REVIEW!!! I won't update until I get a few.**

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	13. Chapter 13: 20 Questions

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 13: 20 Questions

**A/N: Chapter thirteen is here!**

**So Spring Break is over so that's lame, but I am making some headway with this so that's good. I NEED reviews people!!!**

**Oh! I was thinking about making the next chapter in Edwards POV. What do you think? Review to let me know!**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight. Shenanigans x756762346127341**

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"Okay then. First, what were you doing in here with Esme? Covered in flour?" That surprised me somehow. I expected him to ask what I was even doing out of bed.

"Well that's easy. I was hungry and she asked if I wanted to make pizza so I said yes. My turn." I rubbed my palms together and he laughed. It was so easy to be this way with him, it made me feel like I had a real family.

"What happened today at school?"

"I drove there, went to my first classes, went to lunch, biology…" he looked up at my glaring face, chuckling at the fact that he was not amusing me, and continued. "No one talked to me directly about it but they were all talking about him going to jail and wondering what for. That's all." I breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back in my chair, feeling the weight of the world lift off of my back.

"How are you really feeling today?" His amused expression was wiped away and a new serious one had taken its place. It kind of scared me how quickly the transition took place.

"I'm okay. Just sore." I smiled to reassure him.

"You know, Emmet really does want to kill him. We had to restrain him in the locker room." I shivered at the memory, catching Edward's attention.

"Why don't we continue this upstairs where its warm?" I nodded as he lent me his hand.

When we got to my room I sat in the center of the bed, as usual, while Edward sat right in front of me.

"Whose turn was it?" He asked.

"Mine." He nodded. "Is Alice mad at me? She didn't even say hi to me today let alone squeeze me to death."

"She thinks that she isn't helping you…cope, and is having an opposite effect. There was something about not being a real woman for not helping in another woman's time of need to. I don't know. She is very emotional right now. But she isn't mad at you."

"That's so Alice-esque." We both laughed and he seemed to look more carefree and weightless, unlike how he had been the last couple weeks.

"Okay my turn. What's your favorite color?" Wow. Unexpected.

"Blue. What's yours?"

"Silver. Favorite subject in school?"

"Biology." I immediately blushed as the word left my mouth, which, unfortunately, did not go unnoticed by him.

"What?" He asked.

"Does that count as a question for you?" I tried to divert the subject from me, but to no avail.

"Nope. Simply elaboration. Why is Biology reason to blush?" I sighed and did what I thought best in this situation.

I lied.

"I just remembered a time when I fainted from a blood typing lab back in Phoenix." Okay, so that was the truth, but the _the_ truth. I couldn't tell him that it was my favorite because it was the only class I had with him. Not just yet. I didn't even know how I really felt about how I felt. Life is so confusing.

"Yeah, that sounds like you." I gasped and punched him playfully on the arm. He, being the gentleman that he is, pretended to be hurt. That made me smile.

"Anyway…favorite type of music?" He continued his interrogation.

"Classical. What else _is _there that's any good?" I laughed a full, hearty laugh and he joined in as well.

And that's how the rest of the day was spent. We only really left my room to either use the restroom or eat, which wasn't very often. We took turns asking questions about anything and everything, because in the game of 20 Questions, no ever asks _just_ 20 questions. It's how things roll.

When I woke up the next morning to find Edward splayed haphazardly across my bed, my head resting on his stomach, I felt disoriented and confused. As he began to wake, though, the events of the previous night invaded my mind, making me giggle. It sounded odd and foreign coming from my body, as I was not usually one to really _giggle_.

"What's so funny at," Edward's voice caused me to start and gasp, nearly making him fall off the bed when he turned to look at the digital clock on the bedside table. "6:43 a.m.? Really? Do I have to go to school?" He groaned at the prospects of what was to come and I smiled at him sympathetically.

"Yes. But, on the bright side, I get to suffer with you!" He seemed confused by my declaration, his brows knitting together into a sort of squiggle above his eyes.

"What do you mean? You can't go to school just yet. Not with what just happened. Don't be so…what's the word…"

"Nerdy?" I tried. He glared. "Guess not."

"This is serious, Bella! It has only been little more than a day. Are you sure you want to go through with it." I sighed. People were way too cautious.

"Yes. I do. Do you know how hard it is to do make up work? It is a major pain in the ass. So I would rather keep it to a minimum. Okay?"

"Yeah, sure." He grumbled.

"Good. Oh! I almost forgot to ask. What did you mean the other day, when you said that I had Jasper in the palm of my hand?" His wicked and playful smile returned as he began to elaborate.

"Well, he wasn't sure that you…liked him, really. He thought you had something against him. He was really torn up about it, even though I told him you didn't have anything against him or something equally as appalling. So, when he was the one you asked to borrow a shirt from, I guess that put his mind at ease. And the hug was a nice touch as well." I knew my eyes were wide in bewilderment; I could feel them bugging out of my head. Had Jasper really felt that way? I felt horrible for ever making him think I felt any hostility towards him.

"Seriously? I feel horrible. I'll have to talk to him later." Edward laughed quietly as he got up from the bed and made his way over to the door.

"Well if you are going to go to school today, you should probably get ready. You, um…wanna ride with me?"

"Yeah. Okay." I did as he suggested and started to get ready for the new day. I took my time my time in the shower, relishing the heat. When I had finished that task, I wrapped myself in a large fluffy towel and made my way back to my room. I looked to the clock and gasped at the time. 7:26. I hurried into my clothes and ran downstairs, hoping Carlisle was already gone so he wouldn't try and keep me home. I was more than ready to be out of the house.

"You ready?" I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Edward's voice behind me. I clutched my chest and turned to see him with an impish grin on his face. That loser.

"Geeze, I think I just lost a few months of my life there. But yeah, ready as I'll ever be."

"You don't have to do this you know. No one will hold anything against you. And I could always help you with that make up work." It sounded like he was _trying _to keep me home. This made me suspicious. Maybe there was more happening at school than he ever told me…

"Really Edward, I'm fine. Let's go." He sighed in resignation and I beamed. Score one for Bella!

~!~!~!~

As the day dragged on, I realized just how much I was…_aware_ of Edward. It kind of shocked me into a blush-ful silence. It really started when we all convened at lunch. We were all talking about nothing when Edward reached over me to fist punch Emmet, brushing my shoulder on the way. I felt a startling electric shock, making me blush. No one saw it, thank goodness, but there was awkwardness from then on into Biology.

"Are you okay, Bella? You haven't said a word since lunch." Edward's words brought me out of my reverie and back into reality.

"Oh yeah. Just tired I guess." I smiled to reassure him and it seemed to work. When class started, however, I saw a piece of paper being slid towards me.

_Bella come on, I know something is wrong. Tell me?_

I sighed quietly and began.

_It's really complicated. You wouldn't want to know._

He looked up at me briefly, confused, and then went back to writing in his impossibly neat script.

_Try me. I might be able to help. Give me a chance._

That one last sentence was my undoing. So I decided to let all my feelings out and tell him. In a completely hypothetical was of course.

_Ok. Well, say this girl is friends with this guy and she starts to feel…more for this person. She doesn't want to ruin the friendship but she can't help the feelings she has. And say this person is really close to the guy she likes. She doesn't want to cause any complications because there are other people this might affect if she decides to let her feelings be known. What should she do? This is completely hypothetical of course._

With a deep sigh, I passed the paper towards him and turned to Mr. Banner to at least try and listen to the lecture.

When I saw the paper in front of me again, I took a deep breath and read.

_Well, if said girl's feelings were strong enough, she should take a chance and tell said guy how she feels. He just might feel the same way. You won't know until you ask._

_This is hypothetical!_

_Sure it is. But take caution when you tell said guy. Find out if he is with someone first. That would help exponentially._

_HYPOTHETICAL!!!_

_Bella, I know you are talking about yourself. Give it up. Now, who is said guy? Do I know him? I could help things move along if you want._

I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding in relief. He _was_ as dense as I thought. I laughed to myself, wondering how he didn't know I was talking about him.

_I'm not telling you. You will have to figure it out yourself. And no, thanks, but I need to do this myself._

_Okay fine. Can I at least have some clues?_

I thought this over for a minute, then decided it couldn't pose too much of a problem. So I humored him a bit.

_Sure._

_Is he good looking?_

I looked over to Edward to see if he was serious. He just laughed quietly and nodded. I rolled my eyes and wrote.

_Annoyingly so. Anything else?_

_Is he nice? If he isn't you can't go out with him. You need a really nice guy._

_Yes he is. Very chivalrous. And who's gonna stop me if I want to go out with him? Other than said guy, of course._

_Me._

_Well thanks, dad. I'll keep that in mind._

His shoulders shook from his muffled laughter.

_Anything else you need to know, Mr. Nosey?_

_Do you talk much?_

_Yes. Sometimes._

_I know who it is! Bella we need to talk about this after school, okay? Before you try and make a move._

My eyes grew wide at this. Had he really figured it out? Just as I was starting to freak out, the bell rang. We both stood to leave and once we were in the hall, he pulled me by the elbow to stop me.

"Okay?" I sighed but nodded anyway. We parted ways and I reluctantly went to endure gym class.

~!~!~!~

School ended quicker than I wanted it to, making my meet with Edward arrive faster than I would have preferred.

As soon as I walked out of the gym, I saw Edward leaning against the wall, looking as perfect as ever.

"Bella! So, okay, I know you probably don't want to talk about this but I think we should. It might cause some trouble if you don't go about this the right way." His expression was uncomfortable. That could only mean one thing.

He knew.

We climbed into his car and just sat for a few moments before he spoke.

"Bella…about this guy. I don't know how to say this without hurting you, but you…shouldn't like him. He has someone already and, well it _would _cause some issues." I felt my heart pound quicker in my chest; I was surprised he couldn't hear it.

"Edward…I'm sorry. I knew I only caused trouble." He looked shocked at my confession.

"Oh Bella, no! That's not what I meant. Uhhg, I don't know how to say this." I took a deep breath and waited. "You can't like Jasper. He and Alice are practically married. It would hurt both of them." I opened my eyes in shock, wondering if I heard him right.

"You…you think I have a thing for _Jasper_?" I couldn't help the giggles that erupted from me. As the minutes passed by, they turned into full out laughter, snorts and all. Edward just looked lost, which made me laugh more.

"You mean you…don't like Jasper? But you said…and I thought…Geeze girls are so complicated."

"I don't like Jasper, Edward. Although he is a great guy, I like…" I clamped my hand over my mouth before I spilled my heart and soul out to him.

"Who? Come on, you can tell me." He gave me a very puppy dog pout that made my heart skip a beat. I very nearly told him right there.

"No sir. My lips are sealed." He huffed, frustrated, and began to drive home.

When we arrived home, we were both laughing from the misconception. Esme was right at the door, asking about our day as we walked to the kitchen table and sat. After we were all done talking, Carlisle walked in and pulled Esme to him. It was so adorable, I felt like I was intruding on their moment so I looked over to Edward to see he had thought the same thing.

"What's for dinner my love? Can I help?" I fought the urge to 'Aww" at the scene in front of my eyes; they really were made for each other.

"Steak, baked potatoes, green beans, and no you can't. You have had a long shift. Go rest." Carlisle smiled and kissed her sweetly, then released her from his hold. He was halfway to the stairs when he turned and beckoned me to him.

"I never got a chance to talk to you last night. I believe you and Edward fell asleep on me." His smile was warm and comforting, making me smile.

"Yeah, sorry about that." I stood from my seat and began to walk with him up the stairs. We reached his office quickly and proceeded to take our seats. He had a serious, yet slightly sad, look upon his face which made me instantly regret being so curious.

"There is something of the ut-most importance that I need to discuss with you. It has to do with your mother…" I gasped out loud.

"What's wrong? Is she okay? Is she hurt?" He shook his head; I sighed in relief. "That's good." Carlisle looked exasperated, though I couldn't fathom why.

"You really are something else, Bella. With how she treated you, I would expect you to be a little bit more…abrasive towards her."

"The way I see it, she will always be my mother, so I don't want to have resentment towards her if I will regret it later." I shrugged, hoping to get to the point sooner rather than later.

"Well that's magnificent of you Bella. Now, she called a few days ago. You were at school so I told her to call back later, but she just told me she only had one thing to say." He looked so distraught; I couldn't help but rise from my seat and give him a hug.

"Just tell me Carlisle. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. Quick and easy." He sighed and continued.

"She said, and I quote, 'I'm sending the papers relinquishing my parental rights as we speak. That little…um…girl is your problem now.' Poor Esme was the one to talk to her. She ran to me after that in tears asking me what was wrong with the world. I honestly don't know that answer." He was rubbing at his temples as he spoke to me.

I stood there next to him, smiling the same smile from moments ago, as a single tear fell from my eye. He looked up to me and immediately pulled me to him. I never let anymore tears fall for my lost mother, but I tried to suck it up for Carlisle. I could tell he was torn up about this.

"Carlisle?"

"Yes honey?"

"What did she really call me? I want to know." He pulled away to see if I was serious. He knew I was.

"She said, 'That little bitch is your problem now." I could tell he hated swearing; he flinched when he had to say 'bitch', and I hated to make him do so.

"I'm sorry Carlisle. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"It's okay Bella." He kissed the top of my head from my knelt stance in front of him and I smiled.

"Thank you Carlisle. I should get going. Lots of homework to do."

"Okay Bella. And if you ever need to talk, I'm here." Half way out t he door, I summoned up all my courage and spoke.

"Hey Carlisle?"

"Yes?"

"I have only had one father in my life and that wasn't even for a very long time. Well, I just wanted to say that I'm glad I'm here so you could be my second chance. My second father. I really love you. Dad." With that, I quickly shut the door to his study and made my way to my room, where I tried to drown out the noise in my head with homework.

It didn't work.

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**Another chapter done! **

**The relationships are growing…still!!! And who just LOVED that impromptu Carlisle-Bella moment? Huh? Yeah that's what I thought. So about the whole 'next-chapter-in-Edward's-POV' thing. Think I could pull it off? Tell me what you think.**

**REVIEW!!! I won't update until I get a few.**

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	14. Chapter 14: Epiphany EPOV

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 14: Epiphany [EPOV]

**A/N: Hoorah! It's chapter 14!**

**This is my first EPOV so I NEEEEEEED you to tell me what you think. **

**And thanks to all of you who review! You keep me going! Next chapter I will be taking suggestions on how Edward should make his move. There will be mention of your name if yours is picked! SO SEND ME IDEAS STARTING……NOW!!!**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight. Wish I did though.**

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I reached the top of the staircase just as Bella left Carlisle's office. She seemed like she was in a bit of a hurry. I opened my mouth, prepared to speak, when Carlisle appeared in front of me, raising his hand to silence me. I raised my eyebrow at him, confused.

"Come with me." I followed obediently into his office, immediately sitting at the leather chair I frequently occupied. He got right to the point.

"This is about Bella." His expression was tight; like he was trying hard not to cry. I had only seen that expression once when we thought we lost Alice. This was most definitely going to be unpleasant.

"What's wrong with Bella? Is she okay?" The suspense was doing absolutely nothing for my deteriorating mood.

"She's fine…in a matter of speaking." He began to massage his temples. Not a good sign.

"Her mother called a few days ago and Esme spoke to her. She had some very…crude things to say."

"Like what?" He sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. That was where I got that habit, though he does it much less frequently than I.

"Don't make me say it again, please. Let's just say she isn't very sad about her daughter living here."

"Why? That's her daughter! How is it that Bella turned out so sweet and kind and beautiful if she was raised with…_that_?" Carlisle's mouth twisted into a wicked grin as he took in what I said. "What's with the smirk?" He evaded my questions by asking one of his own.

"How do you feel about our dear Bella, Edward?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What do you mean?" I knew what he meant, but I was trying my hardest to make it seem otherwise.

"You know very well what I mean, son. You can tell me." I relinquished my façade, knowing I could never lie to him.

"At first, it was strictly platonic. But now…I don't know. It's not the same, but it's stronger." Putting my head in my hands, I sighed in admission. Life was so enigmatic.

"It's okay to like her son. She is a great girl. Far stronger than anyone I have ever know. I would be surprised if you didn't." His quiet, reserved laughter made me smile. Then a thought came to mind.

"Okay, so I like her. Is it obvious? Do you think anyone else has guessed it yet?" He looked pointedly at me. "Okay besides mom and Alice."

"I don't know son. What are you going to do about this? Are you going to tell her?"

"Of course not!" He seemed shocked by my sudden outburst. I straightened up, giving him an apologetic smile. "Sorry."

"Why wouldn't you? She may feel the same."

"She doesn't. She said she likes someone, but I'm positive it isn't me." The dejection in my voice was most likely showing in my features from the sympathetic look in Carlisle's eyes.

"Don't be like that Edward. You will never know until you ask her yourself."

"I know, but I don't think now is the right time with everything she has gone through in so little time. It would be too much to handle."

"Maybe you're right. Well, just do what your heart tells you, son."

"Thanks dad." I took my leave, a huge weight on off my shoulders. It felt good to know I wasn't just in deep denial. In fact, the more I thought about it the more I realized that I had feelings for Bella the moment I laid eyes on her. She was so timid and shy, yet somehow very outspoken at the same time. She was the kindest soul I had ever met, very humble and pure. And her beauty surpassed most I had seen. I shook the thoughts out of my head. They weren't helping me towards my goal.

As I made my towards Bella's room, I thought about all we had shared about each other; how close we had gotten over the short two months she had been here. Had it really only been that long? When I was with her I felt as if we had known each other for years instead of only months.

The door to her room was closed, but I could tell she wasn't sleeping yet so I knocked lightly and waited.

When she answered the door, her expression was worn; like she had been worrying over something for days without sleep.

"Oh! Hey Edward. What's up?" She beckoned me forward and sat on her bed with a loud 'oomf'. I laughed quietly and sat in the chair in front of her small desk.

"Can't a guy say hi?" We both smiled at that. I continued. "Actually, around this time of year we all like to go out to Seattle to do some shopping. Since I know you still need some stuff and Alice would just explode if you didn't go, would you like to join us?"

"I don't know. I don't want to impose on any family bonding tradition thing you guys have going on." She continued to surprise me with her responses. Out of all the people I had ever known, she was the hardest for me to read. Of course that only drew me to her more, but it was still frustrating.

"You are every bit a part of this family bonding tradition thing as any of us. And we would all love it if you decided to come with us." She bit her lip, as she usually does when she is thinking hard, driving me insane. She looked so adorable, I wanted to scoop her up and kiss her.

Whoa! Where did that stream of thought come from? Mind out of the gutter, Edward.

"Okay. But if I die from being suffocated by clothes when Alice gets her hands on me, you will rue this day." Her serious expression didn't last very long, as she intended, which caused her to break out into hysterics, which, inevitably, made me laugh alongside her. Once you heard her sweet, innocent, bell-like laughter you couldn't help but to join. I felt myself fall deeper and deeper into Bella-filled thoughts, making me realize just how much I already cared for her.

"You won't. I promise I will protect you. Now get some sleep, missy. We have school tomorrow." I walked over to her and with all my courage, though I would most likely lose it all after, kissed her forehead and departed to my own room.

"I am such an idiot." I slapped my hand to my head. Why was I such an _idiot_? Bella had just been through a traumatizing ordeal and I was already acting rashly. I should have just kept to friendship. Who knew what she must be thinking at the moment? Would she hate me for furthering my advances? Or would she be happy I took a step forward? I tried to stop this train of thought before I drove myself insane but I knew that as long as there was silence, I would think, so I put on my Debussy CD and tried to calm my nerves. I was almost completely serene when a high pitched and tinkling voice pierced through my barrier of peace.

"This stuff again? What's wrong _this_ time?" Alice danced over to where I was seated on my black leather couch and perched right next to me.

"Nothing. What are you doing in here anyway?" I knew I came off a little too caustic, but I wasn't in the mood. I felt better brooding.

"I'm hurt, Edward. Can't a sister come and visit with her idiotic brother? By the way, what makes you an idiot today?" I sent her a glare while she just smiled. I hated that I could never be mad at that innocent little face.

"Just…stuff. Okay? I really don't want to talk about it."

"Does it have anything to do with your liking Bella?" My mouth flung open, probably to the floor, at her bluntness. Was it really that obvious?

"What…I mean how…huh?" Her tinkling laughter filled my ears.

"I know all, remember? Anyway, it is kinda obvious. You seem happier and more…what's the word…" She lifted a finger to her small chin and thought for a moment before snapping her fingers, finding a conclusion. "Carefree! That's it. You're carefree. I'm right so don't give me that face, Edward. Now the only question is what you are going to do about it." She looked pointedly at me, making my grimace even more prominent.

"I don't know Alice. I really don't know." Suddenly, she hopped up from her seat and squealed. I had to cover my ears so the noise at that frequency wouldn't bust my eardrums.

"I know what you need to do!" She began jumping up and down, full of excitement. "You need to set something up when we go to Seattle! Oh it's so perfect! Don't you worry, Edward. Just leave it all to me." Her sudden departure from my room left me baffled in my own thoughts. Could I really trust her to do what needed to be done?

Of course I could. This is Alice we are talking about.

With newly restored hope, I climbed into bed and dreamed of Bella for the first time.

~!~!~!~

Saturday seemed to sneak up on me, frying my nerves. I was beginning to have second thoughts about the whole thing, but Alice made sure my decision was concrete. That helped me to calm down some. But the moment I saw Bella Saturday morning, my fears crept back to me.

She looked positively ravishing.

I assumed Alice dressed her because of two factors: One, Bella was dressed in semi-provacative attire. Her outfit consisted of a black, loose scoop neck jersey top with a cut out design on the bodice part, a pair of extremely short white denim shorts, and black ballet flats.

That's how I know I have been around Alice _way_ too long; I know the exact details of her outfit. No wonder my family thought I was gay until I started dating Tanya.

Second, Bella looked slightly uncomfortable in it. She was constantly pulling at every corner of her shirt to get it to cover more of her slim figure.

It was maddeningly adorable.

"Is that alright with you, Eddie?" I was snapped out of my ogling by Emmet's booming voice.

"Pardon?" Emmet's smile turned mischievous. "And don't call me Eddie." Then it fell. His predictability was almost scary.

"I said, we are going by couple so you can take Bells, right? Good. Meet you there!" Before I could get a word in everyone was out the door and in their cars, leaving Bella and I alone in the kitchen.

"So should we go?" I nodded, afraid that if I spoke, I would somehow spill everything that was running through my mind.

When we got to my car, we settled into a comfortable silence. My mind was reeling with ideas on how to handle my new found attraction to Bella. I looked over to see she was biting her lip; something she only did when she was thinking really heard on something.

"Are you okay Bella?" She looked over to me, unsure of her next move. "You can tell me." I gave her an encouraging smile and waited.

"Be brutally honest. Do I look completely ridiculous in this outfit? I told Alice it was way too over the top but, you know her. Can't reign her in." Her adorable blush crept up and painted her cheeks a lovely shade of red.

"Bella I think you look lovely. Don't be self conscious, you have no reason to be." Her blush intensified tenfold at my words and I wondered if I stepped out of my bounds. I looked to see that she didn't look completely uncomfortable.

"Really? You aren't just saying that?" The hope in her eyes melted my heart.

"I would never 'just say' that. I mean it." She smiled. :Besides, I will have to thank Alice later for dressing you."

"Why?" She tilted her head to the side when she asked. It was so cute.

"Otherwise I would have never gotten to see how truly pale you are." I pointed to her exposed, and quite tempting I might add, thighs, and chuckled. And to my surprise, she laughed right along with me.

"Oh gosh I know, right? No matter how much I am in the sun I never get any darker. It's a curse, I swear it." We laughed together for a few more minutes then settled into easy conversation for the remainder of the trip.

When we were about ten minutes from our lunch spot, Alice sent me a text.

_I have The Plan all ready. Everything is taken care of. –Ali_

It seemed like she was going in circles with her little plan; I didn't know any of it and it was for me and Bella. At least as far as I knew.

_Well what is 'The Plan' then? -E_

_I will explain in detail after lunch. See you in a few. Bye! –Ali_

I sighed deeply as I parked next to Rose and Emmet outside of the Café Julie, the little French bistro we always make sure to stop at when we make our yearly visit. They had the most amazing and authentic French dishes.

"I've never been here. I assume its pretty good since there wasn't even a discussion about coming." I nodded as Bella laughed all the way to where the rest of the group was waiting for us.

We met with the owner, Julie D'Lemare, and got our usual table. After we ordered our drinks, we started planning out the day's events. Alice was, of course, at the lead in this.

"So I was thinking that we could start with the shops a couple blocks over. The ones with the clothes? Now that we have an even number, me and Rose wont be so grouchy! And the guys can have their bonding time for a couple hours. Then after that we can meet up at Jay's for the extra stuff that Bella might need for her room and we can put that in Emmet's jeep. Oh! After that, we can all go see a movie, then have dinner, then go home. How does that sound?" Before anyone could get a word in, as usual, Alice, cut right back in. "Perfect I know. So we will start right away." After Alice had used all her air for her little speech, everyone spoke to the person next to them (which happened to be their respective couples) and Bella spoke to me.

"Is she always so…" She began.

"Controlling? Erratic? Insane? Yes. But that's why we love her. We learned early on not to mess with her when it comes to this kinda stuff. She naturally takes control and we let her. It just turns out better that way. So if you value your life, I would do what she says and move on because when you're on Alice time, you have to move twice as fast, usually with half the energy." We both laughed wuietly at that, but somehow the 'All Knowing Alice heard.

"What are you two laughing at?" She raised her eyebrow and I had to look away. I knew what was coming next. That damn pout.

"Bella," I whispered so only she could hear. "Don't look in her eyes." Bella looked at me and I instantly lost all thought. I felt like I could see into her soul through her deep chocolate brown pools. I almost couldn't look away.

"Edward are you listening to me?" I felt something hit the side of my face, breaking my attention from the goddess beside me.

"What was that?

"Raspberry. Did you hear what I said?" her nonchalance was quite nerve-racking.

"No, sorry. What did you say?" I looked to her to see a wicked and knowing smile plastered on her face.

"I said, you are going to show Bella around the shopping square after us girls go shopping. Rose and Em need to look for car stuff, me and Jazz need some stuff of our own that's close together so it's only natural that you show her around town. Besides, I'm pretty sire that book store is near that piano place you like to go to so after she gets the necessities for her room you two can got there." Her proud smirk showed she had really thought about this so I gave her a small thankful smile.

"No problem. Bella?" I turned to her to see that her eyes were wide in shock, mouth slightly agape, and fork half way between her mouth and her plate. 'Are you okay?"

"This…is…the best food in the world. Why am I _just now_ eating here?!" Her shocked expression turned to faux anger, then to humor, all in about three seconds causing the whole table to erupt in laughter.

~!~!~!~

I really didn't want to part from Bella, especially with the tortured expression she had on, but I hadn't bonded with just Jasper and Emmet in a long time; I was well over due.

"So we will meet back here at three sharp. Don't be late like last year. I don't want to have to hunt you down again. Emmet." Rose said pointedly to Emmet. He just smiled widely and pulled Rose in for a long kiss goodbye, as did Jasper to Alice.

"I hope you don't get suffocated. I wouldn't want to end up ruing any of my days." We laughed and then all parted ways from out meeting place/dump all of Alice and Rose's bag so they can gather more place at the clock tower in downtown Seattle.

"Okay guys, what should we do for three hours this year as an excuse?" Emmet looked down the road to make sure the girls were out of sight before we went off on our own.

Jasper stole a quick glance at Emmet, who was already glancing at Jasper with a smirk, then they both looked at me and spoke.

"Talk." I was officially lost.

"I don't think we have three hours worth of conversation guys, to be honest. We aren't Alice and Rose."

"We aren't stupid, Edward. We know what's going on here." Emmet said.

"Well can someone tell _me_ what's going on here so I can know to?" They had never cornered me like this before and I had to admit, it was a little frightening.

"Let me break this down for you little bro. We. Know. You. Have. The. Hots. For. Bells." I gasped at that. I guess it _was_ as obvious as I expected.

"Well when you say it crudely like that, it sounds bad. And can you guys not look like you are about to kill me please?" Jasper backed away, but Emmet stood his ground.

"I don't think so. Some of Tanya's attitude might have ribbed off on you and I don't want you going after my little sister if you it has. Got it?" I stared at him, bewildered.

"Emmet. I have been your brother for years. She has been your sister officially less than a week. What has gotten into you? And I resent that Tanya remark. Yes, I made a mistake being with her but I'm not now and she hadn't rubbed off on me. Besides, I didn't even realize I liked her in more than a platonic way until yesterday after I talked to Carlisle. Geeze, I didn't think you thought so little of me." His features softened and he pulled me into a tight hug, knocking the wind out of me.

"I know all of that Edward. I just wanted to scare you. There is just something about Bella that makes me want to protect her, you know?" I nodded. "She is just so…_fragile_."

"I know, Em. I know. So you aren't really pulling the big brother card and beating me up? Because I really think I can take you." I punched him in the arm playfully as he began to size me up.

"I don't know, pretty boy. I don't think you have it in you."

"Bring it on, bro." Jasper sighed deeply next to me from the bench, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Not again." He settled into his seat, just like last time, as we settled our score for good.

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**Another chapter done! **

**Okay so that went well I think. Should I do more EPOV?? Did this totally suck and I should stick to where I'm better acquainted? Let me know please!**

**REVIEW!!! Or I will lock you up in my nonexistent basement!**

**Next chapter is BPOV again!**

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	15. Chapter 15: Shopping EPOV

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 15: Shopping [EPOV]

**A/N: Huzzah! Chappy 15!**

**I got some positive feedback with the EPOV so I am going to start this chapter out with our favorite man. BUT it will go to different POV's throughout the whole chapter so beware of whiplash. **

**OH! Some news: To those of you still in school (not an all year one, sorry) ONE MORE FLIPPIN MONTH!!!! I am so excited!**

**I would like to take the time to thank my awesome viewers. Your reviews keep me going! And thanks to paggy-yggap for the scandalous remark. I try. =D**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight. But I want some pie…**

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**EPOV**

After Emmet won our little battle, we all decided it was high time we actually did what the girls thought, and expected, we were doing.

Shopping.

I felt little shreds of my masculinity dissipate with every step that brought us closer to our destination. We crossed the street in the small square and walked as humanly possible into the designer store. Immediately we were assaulted by the associates, all of them women, and asked questions like 'What did you have in mind?' and 'What kind of look are you going for?' I decided to speak for us all since Jasper and Emmet seemed to be stunned into silence.

"We really just need different variations of things similar to what we have on now." A tall, thin, girl with jet black hair and surprisingly pale blue eyes walked forward. Well, not so much walk as it was float. And the other women just parted for her. She must be pretty important, I thought.

"Girlfriends?" She accused, Jasper and Emmet nodded and I shook my head. She quirked an eyebrow at me, silently telling me to elaborate.

"Sisters. It's a long story." She smiled an infectious smile, and then turned to her team of girls. She pointed at a small, energetic one that reminded me of Alice, except she had long hair down her back, and then pointed to Jasper. She smiled widely and dragged him to the dressing rooms.

Next she pointed to a tall brunette with blazingly fierce eyes, again reminding me of the other half of my brother, Rose. She pointed at Emmet and she smirked and got a determined look on her face, dragging Emmet's confused face to the dressing room. Then she pointed her gaze to me. I put my hands up in mock surrender and laughed.

"I know, I know." I pointed to her and then to me and started walking to the dressing rooms. They were quite nice, I had to admit, for such a small store. The individual rooms were spacious. Small white loveseats in the corners, large oval mirrors on the wall. Al together it was lovely. I had only been sitting on the loveseat five minutes when I heard Emmet and Jasper. First was Emmet.

"What the…hey I can change myself little girl! Don't touch there. You're lucky my girlfriend isn't here right now she would bite your head off." The girl in question just scoffed. Emmet's complaints ceased, but the woman never left the room.

Next was Jasper. His calm demeanor seemed to be thrown out the window. "Miss, I don't want to offend you but I can do this myself. Well, the dressing part at least." This one actually spoke back.

"I'm sure, hon. I'm not quite as abrasive as Jules in there, but I am gonna do my best to help you make your girl happy."

"Thank you. So what about this? And what's your name? I think I would feel a little better it I knew the name of the girl watching me dress."

"Abigail, but everyone calls me Abby. And that outfit is fabulous. Definitely keep it. Now, what's your girl's favorite color?"

I tuned them all out after that and just started thinking about life in general. Then the Crazy but Important woman walked in my room and hung a large amount of clothing on the hooks on the wall.

"Strip." She said without looking at me. She picked up an outfit and turned to meet my lost gaze.

"Excuse me?" She sighed and handed me the clothes.

"Don't tell me you're a shy one? If it makes you feel better, I'm not attracted to you at all." Her smile was devious and I felt a bit better, although my ego was bruised a bit, about stripping down.

"So, what are your sisters like?" She was trying to make this less awkward. That helped exponentially.

"Oddly enough, quite a bit like the girls you pared up with my brothers in there. And in the same couples to. Weird. But the tall one you paired with Emmet, the big muscular one, is almost exactly like Rosalie, his girl, personality wise at least. She is tall, blonde, bold, beautiful, and bitchy. But they love each other so I can bear it. And the small one, Abby? She is exactly like Alice, Jasper's girlfriend. Except Alice is three times more hyper, probably three inches shorter, and has a pixie cut instead of long like Abby's. They love each other to. So much so it's palpable in the air around them. How do I look?" She raised a finger to her chin and evaluated me.

"Love the pants, lose the shirt. Try this one instead." She threw a dark green button up at me that had a black undershirt.

"Okie dokie then. I am going to assume it's safe to say I should even try to disagree, right?" She nodded and gestured for me to continue my story. "That's pretty much it. We are all technically brother and sister, but we are all adopted so they see that as their loophole."

"How do your parents feel about this?" She didn't look disgusted, like most people would have if they had heard what I just said, but generally curious.

"They couldn't be happier. And, to their benefit, they know for a fact that they will have grand children so they are just fine."

"That's perfect. Now try this. So, what about you? Are you single? And if you are, why they hell are you? You are a perfectly hot specimen of guy." I took the outfit she thrust at me, cargo shorts and polo, with wide eyes.

"I thought you just said…"

"I know. And it was true. I am just stating a fact. Don't freak on me. And continue on." I shook my head, flabbergasted, but continued nonetheless.

"Well, I am single. And no, I'm not gay. There is actually a girl a really like who just so happens to be a new sister. Freaky world I live in, right?" She just smiled and shook her head.

"I think that's wonderful. You seem like a really nice guy who deserves a nice girl. What is she like? And icks- nay on the khaki cargo, Try these black ones"

"Thank you. Her name is Bella, and she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen." I paused, thinking. "No offense."

"None taken. That's _so _much better. Keep. Now for a little something that will make all the girls fawn over you, not that they don't already, because I'm sure they do." She handed me a pair of dark wash jeans with strategically placed rips, and a silky black button up. "Go on."

"She is really pale, but she seems to glow. Her hair is an intoxicating shade of mahogany that matches her deep brown eyes. I feel like I see into her soul when I look at them. Anyway, she is about 5'4 ish but her fierce personality makes up for the few inches she doesn't have. She is the kindest person I know, excluding my mother, and would happily take a bullet for anyone, no matter who they were. She is sweet and timid and sarcastic at times. She's really just…"

"Perfect. I thought for a moment that she was talking about the outfit so I looked at myself in the mirror to see if it was really that great.

"No. She's perfect. For you. And if it wasn't so blatantly obvious that you were in love with her and if I didn't already have the greatest girlfriend waiting for me at home, I would snatch her right up." My eyes widened at this newfound information while she just laughed a hearty laugh.

"Don't look so surprised, Edward. And do you want some advice?" I nodded.

"Yes, please."

"Don't worry about what anyone else says. Just worry about how you are going to get her to fall in love with you. Everything will work out fine in the end." I grinned like a maniac and dressed back into my clothes. When I left the room, Jasper and Emmet had smiles on their faces, directed at me.

"What?"

"She's right you know. Just go for it." Jasper said.

"I will. And I have a good feeling about it to." The mysterious woman who had tended to me was already at the register, adding up our spoils for the day.

"How much is this costing me?"

"A lot. But it's worth it." I handed her the allotted amount of cash and told her to keep the change.

"You helped me more than you could even begin to know."

"It was my pleasure." She touched her hand to her heart in a very sincere way.

"Oh, what's your name?" I noticed none of the girls wore name tags, adding to the mystery of the small store. It was fitting, I guessed, for the name was just as baffling as the women working in it. _Guardian_. What an odd name.

"Angel." I smiled and waved at her as we all left the store feeling lighter. Her name fit her as well. She was my unexpected guardian angel.

**BPOV**

The moment the boys were out of sight, Alice and Rose grabbed my arms and towed me to the nearest store, which happened to be the anti-Christ of stores.

Victoria's Secret.

I internally groaned, already knowing this was going to be a long day. I felt so uncomfortable in the entrance of the store, while Ali and Rose were right at home, already pulling numerous items off the wall while talking to an associate they seemed to know. That didn't surprise me, though.

"What do you think of this one, Bella?" I was snapped out of my thoughts by Alice's tinkling voice and a black, lacy bra being thrust into my face. I decided to play it safe and placate her.

"It's…nice? But, no offense Alice, but it looks a little big for you." The bra she was dangling in front of me _was_ too big for her. In fact, it looked like it would fit me before it fir her…

Oh.

"No." She gave me the pout. I wavered, but held my ground.

"Why not? It's so adorable! And it will push your girls up quite a bit." She slid me a wink and a smile, making me shudder.

"I don't see the point, Alice. No one is going to see it." I could see that I was deflating her chipper mood, but there was no way I was going to put that on.

"Oh fine, kill joy. I'll get one in my size. At least try this one. It doesn't push you up and it isn't lacy or has any bows on it. I think you will look cute in it." At her words, something in me just…snapped.

Cute? _Cute?_ Puppies were cute. Kittens and bunnies were cute. I would _not_ be just cute. Not anymore. With my new-found determination, I snatched the bra she had in her hand from her before she could turn away and stomped to one of the large dressing rooms.

"Alice." She was immediately right there, causing me to jump at her sudden appearance. I shook the fear off and went straight to work. "Get me more like this. In different colors maybe. I like blue a lot, maybe some in that. Please? Thanks." With that, I shut the door and shed my shirt, not hearing Alice once as she departed. I hoped I hadn't hurt her feelings with my abrasiveness, but this was an emergency.

"Here you go Bella!" I smiled knowing she was back to her usually bubbly self. "And I love the new attitude. Will it be present all day?"

I opened the door, clad only in my shorts and the black bra, and smirked at her as she gaped at my sudden confidence.

"You bet your ass it will. Where's Rose? I want her opinion too before I completely lose my nerve out here." We both laughed and waited for Rose to appear. When she did, I was not disappointed.

"Holy shit, Bella, you're freaking hot! Where did this come from?" I smiled, already feeling better about being out in the open without a shirt on.

"I don't know. One minute she's a kill joy, the next she's a dominating vixen. I got whiplash it happened so fast." We all laughed at that, and they were still laughing as I tried on another bra. When I walked out in the navy blue number, they gasped and spoke at the same time.

"Blue is your color." I took that as my que to go back and change into something. When I was locked in, I told them they could go and try some on themselves; I could take care of myself.

"Are you sure?" Rose said, but I could tell from her voice that there was something she really wanted to try on.

"Go ahead. I would feel awful if you two had to watch me do this all day and never get to try some on yourselves."

"Okay then. We will be in the next stall thingy if you need us. Try and get some night wear too, if you can handle it without me." Alice giggled as she entered the next stall with Rose. I scowled. I'd show her.

And I did. For the next hour, we all walked out of our stalls in various bras, corsets, baby dolls, and a whole bunch of other things that I was scared to think about. I stuck with mostly bras, but shook things up a bit with a baby doll or two. I didn't get near a corset though.

When I was changing back into my regular clothes, not feeling as exposed as before, I heard a sickeningly familiar voice in the stall to my left.

"No, he never did anything with me other than make out. That's why I went to James. He is such a freaking prude. I did everything I could to get him to just take me but nothing worked. Whatever. James gives me _all _I need." Her nasal laugh had me seething. Tanya had the _nerve_…

Next thing I knew, Alice and Rose were in my stall, most likely seeing red just as I was. They had heard.

"What should we do? I really just wanna punch her stupid little nose in." Alice and Rose both got gigantic and maniacal grins on their faces.

"Bella, how apposed are you to talking dirty?" I gaped at her. How would that help anything?

"Only slightly but how is it going to help my desperate want to throttle her?"

"We are going to do better than that. Make her angry as hell." Alice pulled out her phone and quickly told me the plan.

"Okay, so I am going to call Rose's phone and you pretend to be talking to Edward. If you need help coming up with what to say, look to one of us for help." I nodded and Alice dialed. When I heard the ring tone, I nearly burst out laughing. It was perfect.

_I called her on the phone and she touched herself_

_She touched herself_

_She touched herself_

_I called her on the phone and she touched herself_

_I laughed myself to sleep._

_At this rate, we'll be headed for…_

**[A/N: That is Wow, I can get sexual to, by Say Anything. SOOO FUNNY!!!]**

I pressed the call button on her phone before I laughed out loud at the ridiculous song; I went right to the point.

"Hey Edward." Alice and Rose could barely contain themselves. I put my finger up to my mouth to silence them before they could ruin the plan.

"Nothing much. Just, umm…" I looked over to Alice to see she was scribbling furiously on her notepad.

_Thinking about you and last night._

She waved her hands to get the ball rolling, but I was frozen. That's what they meant about talking dirty.

"Just thinking about you and last night. It was amazing." I almost laughed. "You can do wonders with your hands." I was most likely blue in the face from my muffled laughter. My shoulders were shaking right along with Alice's and Rose's.

We heard a sudden hitch in breath next to us and we knew right away Tanya was eavesdropping. So I continued.

"Aww thanks baby. I can't wait to see you tonight either." I said this with my most seductive voice. After that, I was out of ideas, so I looked to Roe, the Sex Queen herself. She wrote on the same notepad as before.

_Yeah, I'll wear your favorite color. In fact, I am shopping for it right now. Have any suggestions, baby?_

"Yeah, I'll wear your favorite color. In fact, I am shopping for it right now. Any suggestions for me baby?" I stopped, and then thought of something else. "Although, I don't see the point wearing anything if you are just going to rip it off." Alice gasped quietly while Rose looked proud. I owed in appreciation and began to end the faux conversation.

"Oh, you _are_ a naughty one. Well, you will have to wait until later. See you sugar." I flipped Rose's phone shut for the added effect and stood still so I could hear Tanya's reaction.

It. Was. Awesome.

She let out a high pitched shriek that only dogs could hear and stormed out of the stall and the store, fuming. When we were sure she was gone, we all cracked up, rolling on the floor laughing and all.

"Oh my gosh, what do you think she is doing now?" Rose was the first to catch her breath.

"I don't know, probably kicking her poor car's wheels." Alice stood up and gathered all of my 'yeses'.

"Alice, I can't afford all of that! Maybe just one." I looked at the tag of my favorite in the pile; a light blue push up bra with black lace over the cups; and nearly fainted. "Okay, maybe just a half of one." Alice just rolled her eyes and continued to gather everything I picked out.

"You aren't paying, sweetie. Think of this as a…new sister gift. Okay? And please don't fight me on this. I wanna do it." I sighed, giving up. Alice squealed.

"Okay, but that's all, understand? I hate when people buy me stuff." I plopped down on the small couch next to the register. Rose sat next to me, looking in her compact.

"Oh Bella?" I turned to her, her evil little smirk plastered on her face. "You're forgetting something."

"What?"

"I'm your new sister to."

~!~!~!~

A few hours and hundreds of bags later, we met up with the boys to shop for things I actually needed.

The whole three hours with them was completely draining. I was constantly being pushed, pulled, shoved, poked, prodded, and assessed and it really took a toll on me. After Rose informed me that she was planning on buying me a 'shit load of amazing stuff', her words not mine; I just nodded and let them treat me like a doll the whole time. I nearly kissed the ground when Alice told me we were done.

At precisely three o'clock, we saw the guys approach us with huge smiles on their faces. Alice and Rose jumped up and ran to their men while Edward walked slowly over to me, giving me his half smile that made me melt.

"So? Do I need to rue this day or what?" I thought for a moment and decided I wasn't tortured _too_ much.

"Nope. But this experience had taught me a valuable lesson." He cocked his head to the side, confused.

"And what is that?"

"Never get on Alice's bad side; it is not pretty." We both laughed and turned around to find the lovely couples had ditched us.

Great.

"This is just like last year, except now I'm not alone." He chuckled and led the way to the store I needed to go to.

"They just _would_. I'm actually surprised I hadn't suspected it before."

"Well, they like to be alone for this part of the trip. It's when we all pick out a certain store we need to go to and split up. But they could have been a little nicer about it." I scoffed. Like that would happen. "Here we are. What is it you needed exactly?"

"I need a bookshelf and defiantly a new chair. That's about all I can afford. And I am buying it so don't even try your little…Cullen charm thing to distract me from paying for my own things." He started laughing at that.

"Oh Bella. Bella, Bella, Bella. I don't even have to use my charm to get you to let me pay for your stuff." I was about to protest but his blazing green gaze locked with mine and in them I saw so much of what he was feeling. There was concern, adoration, persuasion, and something I couldn't quite place. Maybe…love? No, that was ridiculous. Sure he loved me like a sister. That was all.

I was looking deeply into his eyes and I thought I would break from just that. Then he began to speak and I knew I was going to crumble to the ground.

"Bella?"

"Hmm…" I was afraid that my voice would break if I actually said anything.

"You aren't going to let me be ungentlemanly-like and make you pay, are you? It will be my gift to you. Please?" There was a shock running through my body and I realized he was rubbing my arm. _That cheater…_

"Okay." I said lazily. He took a step back and smirk in triumph. "Hey! That is so not fair. You cant just…dazzle people like that. Meanie." I crossed my arms over my chest like the mature woman I was and stalked off into the general direction of chairs. He followed after me, laughing quietly.

By the time we finished at the store, Edward had bought me way more than I needed. I tried to protest, but he would just give me that look and tell me I had agreed to it so I should just enjoy it.

"So how have you been enjoying the trip so far?" We had been searching for the guys, even tried calling all of their cells, but to no avail. We were sitting in a small café, waiting for a reply from anyone.

"It's great. I didn't expect to have so much fun, actually. Thank you for including me in this. It means a lot to me." I out my hand over his, conveying my gratitude, and felt a shock run through my whole body. His eyes widened, like he felt it to.

"Well…you are part of the family now. It's only right." We both smiled and sat for a few minutes in a comfortable silence until we heard a quiet beeping.

"That's me." Edward pulled out his phone and read his text. A large smile appeared on his face at that. "That was Alice. She had officially put you in my hands for the rest of the day. Apparently her and Jasper and Rose and Em want some…alone time." He gave a faux shudder and chuckled while I rolled my eyes and giggled.

"She would. So what do you feel like doing for the rest of the time we have?"

"Whatever you want. I'm up for anything." I thought for a moment.

"How about a movie? And some dinner after wards?" He nodded and we both exited the café after leaving a tip on the table. Edward's hand hovered above the small of my back, putting a huge goofy grin on my face.

**APOV**

I put my iPhone in my small purse as we all walked out of the crowded restaurant. The text I sent Edward explained everything, although it wasn't necessary. He knew I was planning on leaving them alone, he just wasn't sure when. Well, he got his answer. I had a really good feeling about them together and I would do everything in my power to see that they got along.

The plan was perfect. Something only I could have thought up. Now I just had to wait and watch my plan unfold.

"You coming, darlin?" Jasper's sexy southern drawl broke me out of my thoughts.

"Of course, Jazz. Let's go!"

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**Another chapter done! I really like to torture Bella, in case you all haven't noticed yet. I know, I know…I'm a horrible horrible girl. But it's so much **_**fun**_**!**

**REVIEW!!! Or I will torture you like I torture Bella!!!**

**Next chapter is BPOV again!**

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	16. Chapter 16: Expectations BPOVEPOV

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 16: Expectations [BPOV]

**A/N: HAPPY 16****th**** CHAPPY MARK!**

**I can't believe it….**

**SCHOOL IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1**

**OMG!!!!! Anywho…**

**Happy summer to all!**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight. Sigh**

**BPOV**

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I was officially nervous.

Edward had insisted that since this was my first time around town that he stay close to me. At least, that was what he _said_ was his reason. His hand was constantly on the small of my back and when he thought I wasn't looking he gave the guys that looked me up and down slight glares. It wasn't that I opposed to this behavior, quite the opposite in fact. I was more confused.

And oh so happy.

Before we left the café, we changed into the clothes we brought with us. I brought a pair of white Alexander Wang full length zipper skinny jeans that Alice bought me and a strapless plaid woven top with ruffle trim at a split-V neck and double-snap closure at front and straps at the back, courtesy of Rose. All together it was fabulous, but it needed a little something extra. Rose said to wear one of my new bras, saying it would drive Edward crazy. Naturally I blushed, but I put it on. It pushed and plumped, madding my cleavage extremely prominate. Rose and Alice would have been proud. The last thing I did was, reluctantly, put on the new shoes Alice bought for me. They were simple and to her 'not that high'.

Whatever. 4 ½ inches is never _short _for a heel.

But the way too tall black leather buckled platform heel was really cute and hard to resist. So I caved and let her talk me into wearing them tonight, which was all very odd. She had said I needed to look my best, but not what for. I thought it was just going to be everyone hanging out. I guess I was wrong.

So when I walked out of the bathroom of the small cafe, full of semi-confidence, everyone stared. And I do mean everyone.

But I only saw Edward.

He was dressed in a sleek silk black button down shirt paired with black cargo pants and he couldn't have looked anymore dashing. When he saw me, though, he looked as though he were thinking the same thing about me. **[A/N: All outfits on my profile!]**

"Wow Bella. You look…There are no words." He had said. I blushed.

"Thanks. Although I could have done without an inch or so of these heels so you might have to watch out for me in case I fall over. But you would have had to do that anyway because of my lack of coordination…" I was rambling and I was very aware that we both knew it so I just shut my mouth right then. He chuckled quietly and led me out to where the car was parked so we wouldn't have to carry our stuff around all night.

As we walked to the quiet little restaurant he recommended, I got a lot of stares from a lot of guys. When the pressure on the small of my back increased I assumed he didn't like that.

What an ego boost!

So, with a lot of glares, stumbles, and thoughts going in the wrong direction, we finally arrived to the restaurant; A little bistro around the corner from the theater.

And now back to the present.

"Anything is good, really." Edward said across from me. I briefly remembered asking what he thought I should get.

"You know, that really doesn't help." I laughed and he joined.

"Well in that case," He looked pointedly and jokingly at the menu. "For a first timer, I would get the steak. Its excellent." His smirk sent shivers down my scantily clad body.

"O-okay." Our waiter appeared just as I was mentally slapping myself for making a fool of myself so early into the night.

"What can I start you two off to drink?" I looked up and noticed a handsome, dark skinned guy who looked to be about our age who was looking right past my face and down my shirt to my exposed cleavage.

Jerk!

I leaned a little closer into myself, hoping to shield my cleavage. "Umm…Coke for me."

"Same." A looked up, not expecting the harshness to Edward's voice. I guess our waiter didn't either because he scurried off to fill our drink orders.

"Are you okay? He was a little rude, sure, but you don't need to kill him. Yet, at least." He visibly relaxed and cracked a smile.

"That was completely… I don't even have a word for how barbaric and just…"

"Rude?"

"Yes! Rude, that was. I'm sorry if he made you uncomfortable." I shrugged nonchalantly. He just shook his head. Our waiter returned and put Edward's drink in front of him and mine in front of me, although his hand got a little too close for my comfort. Edward tensed up and moved closer to me in our little booth.

"Have you both decided on your meals?" I read the nametag of our waiter and saw his name was Jacob.

And he was looking only at me.

"Umm…" Before I could get out another word, Edward had intervened.

"You said you wanted steak right, honey?" He took my hand in his and gave it a light kiss before setting the newly intertwined pair on the table in front of Jacob. I couldn't speak so I simply nodded and smiled, closing the small distance between us in a non-obvious way so I could lean my head on his shoulder. "She'll have the steak and I'll have the fettuccini." Jacob smirked and picked up our menus.

"I'll have those out right away for you." With that he left, smile still in place and leaving Edward and I in the cozy position…still hand in hand…neither of us moving an inch.

Odd.

Nonetheless we settled back into back comfortable conversation, still in the same position, while we waited for our food to arrive. When Jacob did come back, however, his antics only intensified.

"Your fettuccini sir," He placed Edward's plate in front of him, and then turned to me with a wicked smile. "And your steak, angel. Can I get you _anything_ else?" His eyes roamed my body, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

"Nothing, thank you." Edward said in a hostile tone, pulling me closer to his side.

"Okay then. Let me know if there is." With a not-so-discreet wink my way, Jacob made his way over to another table.

"Well. This looks good." We both just laughed and started to eat. I had to give it to Edward to; he had great taste in food. The steak was excellent and everything with it was just as well.

"So," We had both finished eating and were waiting on the check. "What do you feel like seeing?" Edward asked.

"Well I don't think my stomach can handle a horror, and I'm not into chick flicks, so maybe an action movie?" Sometime during out meal we had separated. We weren't too far from each other but we weren't as close as I would have liked.

"Whatever you want to do is fine with me." That smile. That darn smile. I was mush in his hands and he probably knew it by now.

"Okay then."

"Here we are! I hope everything was to your liking?" Jacob flounced back with his chipper attitude, handing Edward the check.

"It was thank you." I said as Edward slipped a few bills on top of the check and slid it over to Jacob.

"Keep the change." We both stood and walked to the door, where Edward held it open for me like the gentleman he is.

"Thank you." I looked to my feet, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks, while I walked ahead of him. It took a moment for him to continue on with me, but when he did he took my hand and quickly pulled me alongside him to the sidewalk.

"What's wrong?"

"The nerve of some people!" He tightened his grip on my hand but slowed down after hearing the confusion in my voice.

"What nerve? What people? Edward talk to me please!" We stopped then and he looked pleadingly into my eyes.

"Our waiter. He was completely horrific! He even had the nerve to ask me for your number, all while ogling you as you walked away. I swear…"

"Edward." I felt my heart swell at his concern for my feelings.

"I mean sure as a waiter he was okay, but he just gave all men on earth a horrible name." He was pacing now and my smile only grew with the passing seconds.

"Edward." Stopping him in his tracks, I put my hand on his forearm.

"His actions were unforgivable and he should really…" My hands found their way to his shoulders and my toes managed to lift me up closer to his face where I closed the distance and gave his a chaste kiss on the lips, efficiently silencing him.

"You talk too much. Now come on or we won't make the movie." I began treading towards the theater, but his hand enclosing my wrist stopped me.

"Bella…" His expression was euphoric; his eyes sparkled and his lips were turned up into a huge grin. It simply warmed my heart.

**EPOV**

"Bella…" I felt as if I were weightless, I was so happy. She had kissed me! She felt something between us as well, she must have.

So I made the move.

"Bella I need to ask a very important question and I need the absolute truth from you. And remember you are a horrible liar so I would know if you weren't telling the truth. How do yup feel about me? Like, _really_ feel about me?" She looked taken aback, which I expected, and oddly enough moved closer towards me. She looked scared and wary as she fiddled with her fingers, thinking of what to say.

"I…I-I feel…I feel things I shouldn't feel towards you." She took a deep breath. "I feel very strongly towards you and I feel that it's the wrong thing and I feel like it's the happiest I have ever been in my life when I'm with you. It's all overwhelming me and I don't know what to do about all this. I've never had these kinds of feelings for anyone so I just…don't know." I felt my eyes widen at her confession. It was so full of sincerity and kindness.

"Wow. I didn't expect that." She tried to pull away from me but I was having none of that. "I didn't mean that in a bad way, Bella. I feel the same way about you. In fact, I have for a while now. And apparently everyone knew _but_ you and me." I laughed at that. "Can I ask you something else, Bella? Feel free to decline if it would make you uncomfortable."

"Of course Edward. Anything."

"I have had the most overwhelming urge to kiss you for weeks now, so if you are comfortable with it, could I try?" Her beautiful blush crept to her cheeks and painted them scarlet red. It was so alluring; I couldn't help it when my hand gravitated to her red cheeks.

"Really? You don't think I'm too...broken or used or whatever?" Her eyes, downcast, seemed sincere in her proclamation. And just that simple fact made me all the more appalled.

"Of course not! And you shouldn't think those horrible things about yourself. You are a strong, independent, beautiful, caring, and intelligent woman who has had to endure many hardships. Anyone who says otherwise is sadly mistaken." Her eyes were shining with tears, filled to the brim and about to spill out.

"I don't know what to say. No one has ever made me feel so…wanted. With the exception of your whole family. I'm eternally grateful to you all." Finally, a single tear slid down her rosy cheeks. I pulled her into my arms and lost myself in the scent of her hair. Strawberries.

"They are your family now to. And we all love you, regardless of what may have happened in the past. That's what families are for." She laughed quietly and pulled back slightly so she could look at me.

"Come on. Let's get going." Smiling down at her now bright and jubilant face, I took her hand and began to lead her to the theater, all negative thoughts behind us.

~!~!~!~

The horror films were all that were left, but luckily there was one that didn't look too bad. So we, or more accurately and much to Bella's disdain, _I_ bought our tickets for The Uninvited and popcorn and drinks and we sat down at the very top row in the middle.

"I still can't believe you wouldn't let me buy the tickets." The lights hadn't dimmed yet and we were the only ones in the room so Bella was using that to her fullest advantage to chew me out.

"Bella, really, it was only ten dollars. No need to kill me. Okay? How about next time you can pay for everything?" I used my best abilities at 'dazzling', as she had called it, to sway her my way. I could tell her resolve was wavering.

"Really? _Everything?_" She got mischief in her eyes; I knew mine grew with fear.

"Umm…Yes?" She smiled innocently and turned her body back towards the screen, as the previews had begun.

"Cool." And that was the end of that. Thirty minutes into the movie, I discovered something quite amusing. When Bella was scared she did one of three things. One, pull on her hair in a truly masochistic way; two, bite her fingernails to what I was sure was a bloody mess; or three, play with the zipper on her pants, which was especially dangerous because with one good tug they would come completely off. Just that fact saved me from any scares during the movie because my mind was so preoccupied with thoughts of her and those damn pants. I felt like a complete pervert, but I knew the only one to truly blame here was Alice, as it usually was.

I was pulled out of my mental listing by sudden appearance of Bella tucked into my side, hand in mine nearly squeezing the feeling out of it.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

"Did you see that? She's a freak! Oh my god, I totally saw it coming though, didn't you?" She looked up at me, smiling a small, frightened smile.

"Bella, love, how did you see it coming if you didn't even see it?" I had to contain my laughter at the situation.

"Hmm…" She turned back to the movie, hand still squeezing mine, warily, then abruptly turned back. "Edward."

"Yeah?" I was lost, and she was no compass. But for some strange reason, that simply pulled me in more.

She tilted her head to the side with a look of pure happiness on her face and I couldn't have been more confused. In the background you could see a zombie-type thing crawling toward the main character. Hardly an inspiring scene.

She leaned in closer, wrapping her shaking arms around my neck.

"You mean it." I was about to question further, but then her lips were on mine, hard, and I couldn't think at all. She pressed herself against me as much as the space would allow. Our lips were molded together, moving in sync. I thought for a moment about pressing further but remembered that I wanted to take it slow wither her after all she had been through. She pulled away the same time I did; we were both breathing heavily.

"Not that that wasn't just amazing, but what was that for?" She smiled, gave me a sweet chaste kiss, and then turned back to the movie while still keeping my hand and leaning her head on my shoulder.

"Just…because."

~!~!~!~

**BPOV**

Three hours later we were all home and exhausted, however no one made it to their own room. All the girls crashed in Rose's room and the guys in Emmet's. I felt happier than I had ever felt in my whole life and like I really, finally, belonged.

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**Another chapter done! I am SO Proud of Eddie! Aren't you?**

**REVIEW!!! Or I will lock you in the dungeon of DOOM and sing the DOOM song!**

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	17. ATTENTION!

**!!!ATTENTION!!!**

Life Lost, Love Gained **will be on break after I put Chapter 17 up, which will be soon I hope! Sorry to disappoint. Sad Face.**

**BUT!!!**

**Till the returning of L.L.L.G, I am starting a new fanfic! YAY! It's mostly to help the writer's block until I get back on track. So I hope you all enjoy my new fic, Sugar.**

**-spiftyone**


	18. Chapter 17: Sugar

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 17: Sugar

**A/N: It's the 17****th**** chapter!!!**

**Still workin hard but SO sorry for the delays in updates. They will come sooner I promise!**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight. *sniff sniff***

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**BPOV**

When I awoke, I felt an odd jabbing feeling in my side. I turned to look and see what it was only to find it was Alice's foot. She twitched in her sleep, I had learned recently. Knowing I was not going to be able to get back to sleep, I got up and read the clock on the wall. 4:23 a.m.

Damn.

I carefully maneuvered out of Alice's path and left the room to wander the halls. I did not expect to hear what I heard the moment I closed the door to Rose's room.

To the left of her room were Emmet's room and some very animalistic moans and other odd noises, albeit hushed so as not to wake anyone, coming from behind the door. Who has sex at _4:30_ in the morning?

I ran past their room and jumped for joy at the sight of the salvation that was my room. The door only creaked a little when I pulled it open and then closed it back, which I thanked any god there was for that. I was still facing the door, catching my breath, when I caught a slight movement from the corner of my eye.

"Bella?" Slowly, I turned to find Edward sitting up in _his_ bed, surrounded by _his _comforter…in _his_ room. I felt so stupid.

"Sorry, I heard Rose and Em and I ran and I thought this was my door." My blush was surely visible even in the dark with how embarrassed I felt at my mistake. He just laughed and motioned for me to sit next to him. I, annoyingly eager, complied.

"I understand completely. After they first declared their love for each other it was almost unbearable. I never left my room unless it was extremely necessary. But eventually it got better."

"When?"

"Yesterday." We both laughed at that.

"Well I'm glad I hadn't heard it till tonight. I wouldn't have gotten any sleep. How do Alice and Jasper get through the night?"

"They try to out-scream them. It's a twisted game they have going on but no one has been deemed the winner yet because no one can hear _anyone_. Well, except the unfortunate ones like us who hear everything. Wait till next Saturday. You will never want to look at them again."

"What's going on next Saturday?"

"The championchip round. They decided no matter how long it would take they would decide who was louder. Oh and we are the judges, just to let you know." His devious smirk was visible even in the dark. A chill ran down my spine. "And also mom and dad will be gone till that following Monday."

"Oh goodness. I'm not sure if I'm ready to be scarred for life like that. I mean, I do still have to look at them the next day. Ick. Well, I know I will be cajoled into it eventually so I might as well give up before I even start."

"That's the spirit!" We came to the point in some weird conversations where there isn't much left to say, but you and the other don't want to part just yet. Just as I was about to reopen my mouth, though, I was beat. "How have you been?" Fantastic? Amazing? In complete and utter blissful euphoria? Wait, was that redundant? Well, regardless, the endless stream of definitions for how I was feeling crowded my mind but the lame word that came out was, "f-fine."

"That's good. I'm glad that you're comfortable here. And I know Esme is really happy about it as well. She has been worried about you, you know."

"You know, if her worrying was any more evident I think she would be a paranoid skitzofranic. But I'm glad someone does." Confusion flashed in his eyes.

"Does what?"

"Worry about me. I'm not used to it." I tore my gaze away from his to look down at the dark comforter beneath me, but within moments Edward's hand had caught my chin, forcing me to see the truth in his eyes.

"There will always be someone in this house worried about you. I know I will." I could feel my face flush from his sudden declaration. I felt something stir in me and I just had to let it out.

"I worry about all of you all too. You mostly. With everything that happened after I got here I was sure you hated me. But then yesterday…I was sure, and I was happy and I thought you were to." I realized everything came out in a rush so I smiled and took his hand, calming myself instantly. "I shouldn't like you so much, but I do and I don't want to change that."

"I was happy…I mean, I am. At this moment I am the happiest man on earth. And I am really glad you feel the same." I was glowing, I was sure, at his words. I decided to further my boldness.

My hand glided its way up to his face and held his perfect jaw. I felt the corners of his mouth turn up when he smiled and when I leaned forward, inch by inch, I felt his hand snake around my waist so he could hold me tight.

"I really want to kiss you." Our noses were touching and the way his words blew his hot breath on my neck made a shiver run down my spine.

"I want you to kiss me." I drew in a staggered breath and closed my eyes. I felt him moving, felt his skin against mine, then finally felt a feather light kiss on both of my eyes, my temples, my cheeks. When his lips were hovering above mine he stopped.

"Is this okay? I mean, this far? I don't want this to be uncomfortable for you and…well…"

"Edward. You talk too much." He smiled nervously, shifting his eyes down at our intertwined hands. Right as I assumed the moment was lost, however, his warm lips met mine in a passionate kiss.

We both pulled back for air together, breathing heavily, with huge smiles on our faces. Edward pulled me into a tight embrace and sighed.

"Perfect ending to a perfect night." I said and he nodded. It was, indeed.

~!~!~!~

The next day, or rather, later on that morning, Alice could tell from my bright expression and idiot smile that something was up.

"What is wrong with you? Are you smoking something?" The tone in her voice suggested she was joking, but the spark in her eye told me she definitely knew what was up. I decided to play innocent.

"Of course not. Gosh."

"Then maybe you got some." My face instantly heated and she laughed.

"Geeze Bells, get a grip. I was kidding." I stuck my tongue out at her and she turned serious. "I need your help."

"With what? If it's homework Jasper is smarter than me so…"

"No. I need your help with a test. Well, getting the test, taking the test, not killing myself if I pass the test. Get it?" I did get it and I was having a hell of a lot of trouble not hyperventilating.

"Why ask me, though? Why not Rose?" We were whispering now and leaning towards each other so as not to be heard.

"I don't know. I just get the feeling you would get mw through it better if it came out positive."

"I would be happy to help you Alice. You know that. When do you want to do it?" She bit her lip and looked up at me with puppy dog eyes. I could already feel myself agreeing with her and she hadn't even asked anything yet.

"Today?"

"You know I cant say no to that face. Just tell me when you're ready to go and we can leave." She pulled me to her tight and I wrapped my arms around her. After a few moments, she skipped out of the room to get ready, leaving me to my thoughts.

"You certainly look thoughtful this morning. What's on your mind?" I straightened up as Esme entered the kitchen, beautiful despite the time as always.

"Just a little tired. And thinking about my stupid car. I think I will finally have to give up on it." I frowned at that fact. It was the truth. It was becoming less and less reliable as the days went on. And after all the work I did to save up for it…

"Well, we could always get you a new one." I snapped out of my angry thoughts and looked at Esme's kind face.

"I couldn't let you do that for me. It's far too expensive." She laughed while she pulled out the orange juice and poured herself a glass, then finally settling at the counter on her chosen stool.

"Oh Bella, I wish the other children had had that attitude when it was time to get them all a car. Well, Edward did protest but he didn't have a choice. We surprised him with his car. But Bella, you have to understand that in this family money isn't really an issue. And it isn't only because of Carlisle. I have my own income that can probably match his. We are glad to share it with you and the others within reason."

"I…well…wow. I-I have never had the comfort of a home like this. It still surprises me that you all still welcome me the way you do." I sighed, holding back the tears as best I could. "You know that even if I concede to your will I will try and find the most inexpensive one. I wont let you spend more than necessary on me. I'm really not worth this much trouble."

"Of course you are!" I started at Carlisle's voice behind me; I thought he left for work already.

"Carlisle!" His usually soft demeanor was replaced by a concerned expression.

"Don't think you are worth any less than anyone else in this house." He squeezed Esme's hand and kissed her cheek before turning back to me. "Why don't we take a short walk" I nodded and let him lead me out the back door and along the path through the back yard.

"You know, Bella, my father was a very devout Catholic man. I myself am more…liberal, as you could have probably guessed by my household. I was raised to go to church every Sunday and Wednesday and study the bible. But when I was about your age I realized I didn't want to lead that life. I told my father this and he…well, he didn't take it well. He removed me from our house and told me not to come back until the devil's traces were clean from my veins." I had always wondered about Carlisle's childhood but I would never have guessed it was anything as dramatic as what he was telling me.

"That's horrible! How could he kick you out? And why would the devil be in you? You are the kindest person I have ever met, probably the kindest in the world from what I have seen of it." He laughed and took one of my hands in both of his, making us stop.

"I'm doubt I am the kindest in the world. And I am far from perfect Bella. But I found a place where it doesn't matter. Here with Esme and the kids. It's the same for you. No one here will judge you or see you as less than them because they aren't perfect either. No one is."

"I understand what you're trying to say. Thank you. But I feel like I will never want to leave here, like I am getting in too deep. Is it supposed to be like that?" He smiled wide and hugged me tight.

"Yes. That's what having a home is like."

"Then I want to be here forever. I never want this feeling to fade."

"That's the second best thing I have heard all day." I looked up at him, wondering.

"What's the first?" He chuckled quietly and shook his head.

"Nothing you should have to worry about until you're married with six teenaged children." I laughed at that.

"I don't think that will happen. At least not in the next fifty years."

"Good." We had walked back to the kitchen door and could see Esme sitting at her stool, reading the newspaper. Carlisle looked at her fondly then down at me. "And Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Let Esme have some fun and buy you car. She feels like she is losing all her babies at once and it would make her happy to do this for you."

"Okay." I looked at her as well and saw her slim figure, her black ballet flats for gardening, her long flowing caramel hair, and her one silver streak beginning to form at the top of her head. It looked good on her, distinguished. She was my true mother."If it makes her happy."

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**Another chapter done! Sorry this is so short. =C And another reminder: This story will be on break after this chapter. BUT you can read my new story Sugar until it is back up. **

**Till next time!**

**-spiftyone**


	19. Chapter 18: Anyone Else But You

Life Lost, Love Gained

Chapter 18: Anyone Else But You

**A/N: It's the 18****th**** chapter…finally!!!**

**Welcome Back to Life Lost, Love Gained! Thanks for being so patient and I hope you enjoy!**

**Now...TO THE STORY!**

**Disclaimer- I **_**still **_**do not own Twilight. **

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**BPOV**

"I don't know which one to get!" Alice and I were standing in front of the long aisle filled with various pregnancy test and she was torn about which was the best choice. I sighed and took her hand.

"Just get one of each. And calm down, Alice. Everything is going to be just fine. I promise." I gave her hand a squeeze and she visibly relaxed before randomly pulling boxes off the shelves.

"Okay. I think…fourteen should be enough." Her triumphant smile made me laugh and her gave me a glare. I laughed all the way home.

When we walked into the house I could see Alice grow wary. She looked up to me with a panicked look and I took her hand once more with a smile and led her up to my bathroom. When we were both in I locked the door and she set to work drinking the multiple bottles of water she purchased. When all was said and done, all that was left to do was wait. And Alice was not a patient woman.

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With the sound of the timer we had set Alice was up and on her feet, speeding to the bathroom. I chose not to follow, deciding she needed to see the results for herself. After a minute or two, she skipped back into the room with the biggest smile on her face.

"Negative! All of them. I'm relived." She pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Now, what have you learned from this experience?" Her smile faltered but only slightly as she answered.

"I have learned not to fuck my boyfriend as much as I have been. It's too dangerous." She shook her at that and I blushed.

"Must you be so vulgar? And I was thinking more along the lines of 'be more cautious'." I gave an exasperated sigh before making my way out of the room and on to find Esme. She was exactly where I expected her to be; in the garden, knee deep in roses.

"Hey Esme." She looked up from her work and smiled at me kindly while standing and wiping the dirt off her jeans.

"Hello dear. Is there something I can do for you?"

"Actually yes. I was wondering if maybe you would…take me to the car dealership to…um, find a new car?" It came out as more of a question and although I looked nowhere but the ground beneath me, I could somehow feel her happiness.

"Oh, Bella of course! Let me get cleaned up and then we can go. I'm so excited!" She sprang into the house faster than I would have imagined possible, making me laugh. I walked back into the house and sat on the couch to wait for Esme. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, relaxing into the silence. After a few minutes though, I felt soft lips on my neck and smiled.

"You're lucky I know who you are or I would have hit you." Edward's bell like chuckle filled the room. I didn't think my smile could get any bigger.

"Hello to you to." He came over to sit with me and instantly grabbed my hand. I felt a shiver run down my spine.

"Is this okay?" He held up our intertwined hand and raised an eyebrow, a look of apprehension on his beautiful face. I cradled his cheek in my free hand and smiled.

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Edward." He smiled and leaned closer to me, pressing his lips to mine in a chaste kiss. I surprised myself and him by deepening it.

"Well it is about time!" I withdrew from his lips instantly at the voice of Esme. "I have been waiting for you both to realize that you are perfect for each other for ever."

"Well, I am officially embarrassed." When I looked over to where I heard the voice, I felt even more embarrassed to see that _everyone_ was watching us with smiles. But not once did I pull away from Edward. He was my comfort and joy and where I belonged.

"Don't be." Carlisle began. "Besides, what we all saw was the most PG thing I have seen in a few years." Everyone laughed at that and Edward and I stood, hand in hand.

"Oh, I know right? Remember when Rose and Emmet were down here 'watching' that horror movie and we…"

Edward interrupted with a groan. "Please. No images."

"Okay, okay. Well I have to steal Bella from you for a while so we can go get her a car. We should be back in time for dinner, okay?" The crowd slowly dispersed and Edward gave me one last chaste kiss before departing himself. With that, Esme and I left in her car and I prepared myself for the beginning of a new journey.

**EPOV**

"'Bout time you manned up, Eddie." I was in my room at my desk when the sound of Emmet's booming voice made me turn. Bella and Esme had been gone for a couple of hours by then and I was already feeling empty without Bella's presence.

"Shut it. And don't call me Eddie." He and Jasper made themselves comfortable on my bed.

"It's a little weird, actually. You and Bella. Not in a bad way, but…weird. It's like she was sent here specifically for you. Like fate." Jasper was laid back and looking at the ceiling while he spoke.

"You have been around Alice too much." We all laughed at that before becoming serious once more. "It does feel that way. It was like…I wasn't whole until I met her. And it seems the same way with her. I feel like I have been waiting for her all my life, you know?" They both nodded and then excused themselves to have another rematch of some game. I was left alone with my thoughts once again and as I did think, I couldn't help but smile. Bella was an angel sent from above and I was happy; happier than I had ever been.

"We're home!" Esme's voice brought me out of my thoughts and before I realized what I was doing, I was racing down the stairs and swinging Bella in a full circle before hugging her tight. Her light laughter filled my ears, making me smile even wider.

"Miss me much?" She joked. I looked into her eyes and showed her all that I was feeling at the moment.

"More than you know, love." Her eyes widened and she pulled me closer, her lips close to my ear.

"I love you Edward." I pulled her away to see it in her eyes and I was not disappointed. It was there and strong. I kissed her with all I had to let her know I felt the exact same.

"I love you to Bella. So much."

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**So I'm really mad at myself for putting this off so long only for you to have one chapter left, but I wanted it to be good, even if it's sooooooper short; which I am also mad at myself for that fact. So…It's done, guys. After so long, it is finally finished! I'm so proud, but also sad. It's gonna be hard to see it done. But, I applaud you all on your reading and what not. I couldn't have gone this far without you all! Thanks!**

**-spiftyone**


	20. GUESS WHAT?

**!!!ATTENTION!!!**

After some thought and some serious mourning (lol), you will be happy to know that LLLG WILL have a sequel after the new year.

YAY!

Thank you all for your support and I cant wait to see you all next year!

**-spiftyone**


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